Compliments from the Mysterious Force
by IamBurden
Summary: The gang has graduated from college and are all back in Danvile and the backyard. After the Big Idea of the day, the Mysterious Force decide to have some fun with the cast in the form of past memories. How will everyone react?
1. Rollercoaster

**Yeah, I may have too many fics up right now. I'm having a serious case of writer's block and I'm hoping that this would help me get rid of it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything I write**

It was a beautiful summer day in Danville, a perfect day for a Big Idea. The gang, having all graduated from college, was back together Danville. Though only Phineas, Ferb, Isabella and Vanessa were in the backyard now.

That was until everyone else walked into the backyard, "Hey Phineas, whatcha do- ow!" Buford asked before being violently interrupted by Isabella, "Why do you keep doing that!"

"It's my catch phrase, and only I can say it."

"Yeah, only you and Phineas."

Isabella blushed and grinned. Phineas noticed an extra person in their gang, standing beside Katie.

"It's nice to meet you…Whoever you are."

"Oh, the name's Kai. It's nice to meet you too." Kai wrapped an arm over Katie's waist, "I'm Katie's boyfriend and I know who you all are!"

"You do?" Baljeet asked, raising an eyebrow

"Of course I do, I mean you did do that music number where you project yourselves all over the world and you guys bounced into Singapore that one time, how can I not know who you guys are?"

"Good point."

"So Phineas, you never did tell us what you were going to do today." Isabella asked

"Hmm, I'm not sure… Ferb can I see that list?" Ferb handed him a list that rolled all the way to the garage. "Let' see, we build a rollercoaster twice, made winter and fall in summer, build a time machine… That's it! Ferb, I know what we are going to do today!"

"Well don't leave us hanging! Tell us what we are going to do today." Buford asked

"Well, when we used that time machine to travel to the future, we gave our nephews the idea that they could built bumper cars that travel in the 5th dimension. That's what we are going to do today." Phineas looks around, "Hey, where's Perry?"

"Probably fight my dad with his team or something," Vanessa said.

You might be wondering why Vanessa could say something like that about Perry. Well to simply put it, the Amnesia-inator, like all inators, had a self-destruct switch. The effects of the Amnesia-inator wears off when the inator was destroyed. Thus allowing the gang to remember everything

Not to mention the constant kisses that Phineas and Isabella shared also help break the effects it had on the two of them.

Of course Major Monogram wanted to relocate Perry to another host family but Perry gave him the ultimatum, let him stay with Phineas and Ferb, and to a lesser extent Candace, or he will leave the agency. Know that O.W.C.A couldn't afford to lose their best agent and also realizing what Phineas and Ferb could do for their agency, being able to break the laws of physics and all, the Major decided to allow this one special case.

"Huh, well that's a thing. Well guys let's get to work."

Line break

 _Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated~_

The door burst open to reveal a teal platypus, purple hyena, red Macaw and a yellow cat, though the cat immediately fell asleep.

"Why hello there, Perry the Platypus, Harry the Hyena, Maggie the Macaw and Karen the Cat. What an unexpected surprise, by unexpected I mean TOTALLY EXPECTED!" Doofenshmirtz took out a remote and pressed a button, a giant cage trapped Harry and Maggie, two metal claws trapped Perry while Karen was placed in a box.

"You know Perry, it's so nice of Commander Carl to let us have this special 'First time you foiled my evil plans' anniversary day. We even brought the team in on this too." Doofenshmritz walked up to a machine covered by a cloth, "Behold the Start-Working-Inator! Now, let's start the back story. Just yesterday, when I was working on a new invention, my tools weren't working! I hate that so much! With this, and this amplifier, I will make everything this in the Tri-state area start working, causing general chaos everywhere! MUHAHAHA!"

The animals blink. "That's a strange plan KAAW!" Maggie squawked.

"Hey, just because we have this special day doesn't mean my plans are evil, I'm a good guy now!. Not to mention this really can help make my tools work"

Line break

"Huh, we managed to make 12 physics breaking bumper cars in just under 1 hour. You guys are as amazing as I imagine." Kai said while holding up a spanner

"Why thank you Kai. And we didn't just make 12, we made 14. The other two are in the garage, just in case Candace and Jeremy want to join in." Phineas said, "Well let's get this party started!"

"WAIT!" Candace walked into the backyard from their house with Jeremy behind her, "What's going on here?"

"Oh hi Candace. We made bumper cars that travel in the 5th dimension. We have cars for the two of you in the garage if you want to join in." Phineas answered.

"The first day of summer and you are making physics breaking bump cars? I am not going to join in and you are going to be busted! Let's go Jeremy, I'm going to get mom from the antique shop!"

"Yes Candace." Jeremy said smiling to himself.

"Well she is high strung."

"Yes, yes she is."

Line break

"Now to activate this Inator and make everything in the Tri-state area work!" Doofenshmirtz heard the sound of metal being sliced, he turned around to see Karen awaked and freed agents. "Oh, so now you decide to wake up and help. You know Karen if you did that more often, we won't be having so much trouble with our missions." He dodged a kick from Karen, "Hmm, in hindsight, maybe I should have trapped you instead of putting you inside of a box." He ducked under a fly over from Maggie and a punch from Harry, "And not invite the rest of the team." He was kicked into a wall by Perry, "Definitely should have thought this through first. Owww."

Line break

"Mom, mom, mom! Phineas and Ferb have built bumper cars that travel in the 5th dimension in our backyard!"

"Candace, I thought I told you that you are too old to tell me these stories and more. And even if they did, Phineas and Ferb are grown adults and can handle this themselves! Oh hi Jeremy"

"Hi Mrs Flynn."

"Oh don't call me that, you can call me mom."

"Mom! Enough about this, please just follow me this one time."

"Ok honey, let's go."

Line break

While Doofenshmirtz was being pushed around by Harry, Maggie and Karen, Perry just walked up to the Inator and pushed the Inator of the building, it manged to get one shot off

"OW, OW, OW! Stop, the three of you can stop now! Perry destroyed the Inator already. Why did you do that anyway Perry? It can be real helpful to have around you know. And next time, I'm going to hire assistants to keep the three of you busy while I fight Perry. Now who wants to go to Perry's house for some pie?"

Animal sounds of agreement. Perry tugged Doofenshmirtz lab coat. "Yes Perry?" Perry pointed to himself, "Oh yeah, Curse you Perry the Platypus and Harry the Hyena and Maggie the Macaw and Karen the Cat. Hmm I should really get some assistants next time…" Doof tripped over a loose wire and hit the button of another one of his inators, the shot went through the amplifier. The inator was covered in post it notes and plants. "I should really unplug that…I'll do it tomorrow."

Line break

"That was awesome! You guys never cease to amaze me." Kai said as he got out of his bumper car.

"Thank you, thank you. You are so kind." Phineas said as he and Ferb bow

Candace walked into the backyard, "Yes, the cars are still here! MOM!"

"In a minute Candace."

A ray hit the 13 bumper cars, they start to work and drive of, never to be seen again

"Huh, it was like they got hit with a start working ray" Kai than shrugged, "Meh, who cares."

"Look mom! Loo…" Candace trailed of when she saw the backyard, empty of any bumper cars.

"Hi everyone! Candace, honey close your mouth. Well your father can handle the shop by himself, who wants pie?"

"ME!"

Candace remembered the cars the boys made for her and Jeremy in the garage, "Wait MOM!" She looked into the garage and saw the two cars, she was about to call for her mom till she saw a ray hit the two cars, shirking them to the point where they were invisible to the naked eye. Candace faceplam, "Ah who am I kidding, this always happens."  
The group walked into the house, only to see that it wasn't their house. It was a simple room with a giant T.V and was surrounded by sofas.

"Phineas! Ferb! What did you do!"

"I didn't do anything Candace."

" _I did it Candace."_ A voice rang from all around them

"Who are you?"

" _Well Candace, I am that mysterious force that you pray to on some occasions, stop doing that by the way it's starting to get creepy but I do like the song. What was with that pyramid hat all those years ago anyway?"_

Everyone looked at Candace, "What I was getting desperate. Why did you make all my brothers inventions disappear anyway?"

" _Well, mostly it was because of the laughs."_

The accusing glares Candace gave the wall was starting to hurt

" _What? You try being an omnipotent force for a day, actually Candace don't do that, you will only want to bust the boys. You'll will get bored too. The big ideas that Phineas have are amusing"_

"Well… he does have a point"

" _Thank you Baljeet"_

"Hey Linda, the team and I have come for some snacks." Doof and his team walked in. "Whoa, this is some interior."

" _Hmm, we are missing some people…"_ There was the sound of fingers snapping, Major Monogram and Carl appeared in the room

"Great googly moogly, what happened here!"

" _Ahh, now everyones here now take a seat."_

Phineas sat down with Isabella, immediately snuggling. So did Baljeet and Ginger, Ferb and Vanessa, Kai and Katie, Jeremy and Candace. Harry sat beside Buford, Maggie sat on Adyson's shoulder and Karen curled up in Katie's lap

" _Good now that everyone is settle, I want to show you a few recording that I have of you guys all those summers ago"_

"You were recording us…"

" _Why yes, yes I did."_

"That's kind of creepy"

"" _I know. Now enjoy."_

The T.V was switch on

 _ **(Scene opens up with the camera zooming into the backyard.)**_ **  
** **Phineas** **:** **So, Ferb, what do you wanna do today?** **  
** _ **(Ferb shrugs)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **What about Perry, what does he want to do?** **  
** _ **(Perry chatters)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, he's a platypus, they don't do much.**

"Famous last words." Phineas said as he grinned at Perry

 **Phineas:I for one, am starting to get bored, and boredom is something of up with which I will not put! The first thing they're gonna ask us when we get back to school is "what did we do over the summer?". I mean, no school for three months. Our life should be a roller coaster! And I mean a good roller coaster, not like that one we rode at the state fair.**

 _ **(Flashback on a roller coaster at the state fair. It goes over one tiny hill then ends)**_ **  
** **Fair Worker:** **Please exit to the left.** **  
** _ **(End flashback)**_

"Wait a sec, Phineas if you knew it was going to be terrible, why did you ride it in the first place? Don't say you didn't know I mean you can see the entire track, all 2 meters of it." Kai question while raising an eyebrow

"It was the most exciting thing in the state fair."

"It was the worse fair in the entire summer." Buford said quickly

"Ah, I understand…I think."

 **Phineas:** **Man, that was lame. Why, if I built a roller coaster, I would... That's it! I know what we're gonna do today!  
** **Linda** **:** **Phineas, Ferb. I'm gonna pick up a few things. You boys stays out of trouble, okay?  
** **Phineas:** **Okay mom.** _ **(At Ferb)**_ **We're gonna build a roller coaster!**

 _ **(Linda gets into the car)**_ **  
** **Candace** **:** **I'm in charge, right? You did tell them I'm in charge?  
** **Linda:** **Relax, Candace, nobody has to be in charge.  
** **Candace:** **But what if there's a emergency?  
** **Linda:** **Like what?  
** **Candace:** **What if a... What if a satellite falls out of orbit and crashes into the house?** _ **(smiles)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **If that happens, you're in charge.  
** **Candace:** **Yes!**

"Impossible KAW!" Maggie squawked

"Is that bird taunting me?"

"Well she is right." Adyson reasoned

"It happened one time"

" _You weren't in charge that time Candace"_

"Quiet you!"

 **Candace:** _ **(she enters into the backyard)**_ **Mom says I'm in charge, conditionally.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Whatever.** **  
** **Candace:** **Wait a minute, what are you doing?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Homework.**

"So Candace, people in middle school make blue prints for homework?" Kai asked while laughing

"I know, that was stupid of me." Candace facepalmed **  
****Candace:** **It's summer.** **  
** **Phineas:** **That's cool, you wait till the last minute then.**

"Now that I think about it, did we do any home work at all that summer?" Phineas asked

"Nope, not at all. My favourite summer of all time, all play and no work." Buford said grinning

"Good for you maybe, but for me it was terrible and fun summer." Baljeet sulked.

 **** **Candace:** **Well, I'm watching you. And I'm in charge, conditionally!**

 _ **Candace walks into the house and the phone rings, which she answers)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Hello? Oh, hi,** **Stacy** **! No, I can't get to the mall right now. Mom just went to the store, she left me in charge, well, you know, conditionally.** **  
** _ **(Phineas and Ferb walk past with lots of wooden planks)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **And if you go, can you see if** **Jeremy** **is there? No, no, he's the cute one that works at Mr.** **Slushy Burger** **.** **  
** _ **(Phineas and Ferb walk past again, with steel beams)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Yeah, he totally smiled at me the last time I was there. I just about died.**

"Did I?" Jeremy said to Candace while she blushed

 **Canace: No, I told you I can't, I'm watching my brother and step-brother.** **  
** _ **(Phineas and Ferb walk past with sinks and toilets)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Yeah, and they never get into trouble, 'cause Mom never catches them. One of these days though, I'm going to see that she catches them red handed.** **  
** _ **(Phineas and Ferb walk past again, with a flamingo and a lion that roars loudly.)**_

"Boys! Why was there a lion!?" Linda asked worried.

"Well we needed to add some spice but we sent it back to the zoo along with the flamingo." Phineas explained

"And the toilet?" Kai asked

"Well there needs to be a place for people to go when they have…accidents"

 **Candace:** **Will you hold it down, I am trying to use the phone!** **(at Stacy)** **Mom left me in charge, so there will be no shenanigans today. What are doing right now? Why do you ask? What do you mean you can see it from your house? See what?!**

 **** **(Candace runs out to the backyard, she stares in shock upon seeing the rollercoaster, along with horror music)** **  
** **Candace:** **Phineas, what is this?!  
** **Phineas:** **Do you like it?  
** **Candace:** **Ooh, I'm gonna tell Mom, and when she sees what you're doing, you are going down. Down! Down! Down! D-O-W-N, down!**

"That is some obsession." Milly pointed out

 **** **(Phineas and Ferb look blankly while she walks away)** **  
** **Phineas:** **We're gonna need a blowtorch and some more peanut butter.**

"Peanut butter?"

"We were hungry."

 _ **Candace takes her bicycle and rides away)**_ **  
** **Isabella** **:** **Hey Candace, is Phineas... home?  
** **Candace:** **Down, down, I say!**

 _ **(Isabella walks into the backyard.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(hearts in eyes)**_ __ **Hey Phineas.**

"How is that possible?" Carl asked

"I've been asking that myself every time when I see that, you tell me." Baljeet said to Carl

 **Phineas:** **Hey Isabella.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Whatcha doin'?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Building a roller coaster.** **  
** **Isabella:** **In your backyard?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Some of it.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Wow. Isn't that kind of impossible?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Some might say.**

"I think everyone will say that" Holly joked

 **** **Isabella:** **Hey, Ferb.** **  
** _ **(Ferb waves with the hammer)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Does your step-brother ever talk?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Ferb? He's more of a man of action.** **  
** _ **(Ferb hits the nail and then his nose)**_

"…How did that not hurt?" Ferb shrugged

 **** **Isabella:** **I was gonna go to the pool, you wanna go swimming?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Kind of in the middle of something here.**

"That was kind of cold"

Phineas nuzzled Isabella's neck, "I'm sorry" He said guiltily.

"No problem." Isabella said as she kissed Phineas on the cheek

 **Isabella:** **Oh, right. Okay, I'll see you later then.  
** **Phineas:** **Okay.** _ **(at Ferb)**_ **Hey Ferb! You got enough rivets up there?  
** _ **(Ferb gives a thumbs up showing they have rivets.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, where's Perry?**

 _ **(Perry walks around the corner of the house. He jumps up, puts on a fedora and walks into a hole in the wall. He goes down a lift, into a lair, where he gets an "Incoming Message".**_ **)  
** **Major Monogram** **:** **Good morning, Agent P. The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. For reasons unknown to us, he bought up 80% of the country's tin foil. I want you to get over to his hideout right away. Find out what he's up to and put a stop to it. As always Agent P, it is important that your cover identity as a mindless domestic pet remains intact. Now, get out there. We're all counting on you.  
** _ **(Agent P jumps into a platypus-themed hovercraft, and flies tough a tunnel. He leaves through a stone and holds his fedora down to hide from Phineas and Ferb.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **So, the way I see it, the fuel rockets kick in at the mall's parking lot, then we release the snakes during the corkscrew at the interstate. I'm gonna go get the snakes.  
** _ **(Ferb puts on his mask and starts using the blowtorch.)**_

 _ **(Candace runs into the store)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Mom! You gotta come home, right now.  
** **Linda:** **Did a satellite crash into the house?  
** **Candace:** **No, no, no. You gotta see what Phineas and Ferb are doing.  
** **Linda:** **Seems like we've had this conversation before.  
** **Candace:** **What do you mean?  
** **Linda:** **I seem to recall you telling me that the boys were training monkeys to juggle bicycles, and when I come home, there was a stunning lack of monkeys.**

"It was as fun as trying squirrels" Phineas grinned while Candace shivered when she heard the 's' word

 **** **Candace:** **I still don't know how they cleaned that up so fast.  
** **Linda:** **So, what's the emergency this time?  
** **Candace:** **They're building a roller coaster!  
** **Linda:** **Candace, seriously, isn't Phineas a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?**

 _ **(Phineas talks to a man in a car factory)**_ **  
** **Factory Manager:** **Aren't you a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?  
** **Phineas:** **Yes, yes I am.  
** **Factory Manager:** **Well, I must say, I'm very impressed, the forms all seems to be in order, although I'd never seen them filled out in crayon before. So, if there's anything I can get you, anything at all, just let me know.**

"You know that the R is written wrongly right? How is that in order?" Kai asked

"Huh, your right. I wonder how it went through?" Phineas wondered

 **Phineas:** **Do you think we could borrow one of those gadgets?  
** _ **(A robot arm fixing a car is shown)**_

 _ **(Phineas and Ferb is riding the roller coaster that builds by the robot arm.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Now, this is the life.**

 _ **(The camera zooms in on Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.)**_ **  
** _ **(Agent P swings into the building)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Ah, Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected surprise. And by unexpected, I mean:** _ **completely expected**_ **!  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz presses a button, which activates arms that grabs Agent P.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have covered the entire eastern seaboard in tin foil, and when I put my giant magnet, next to my genius,** **Magnetism Magnifier**

"Can't believe I forgot to add the Inator in the name"

 **Doofenshmirtz:I will pull the East, in westerly direction, thereby reversing the rotation of the earth. You may ask yourself, why would he do this? What could he possibly have to gain? Well, let me just answer that question, I haven't really worked on all the bugs yet. I mean, tin foil alone costs a lot.**

"Those are some poor planning skills." Isabella pointed out

"I know." Doof said depressingly

 _ **(Back at the store)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **But Mom, I'd tell you, they're building it, and it's huge.  
** _ **(Ferb puts up a poster)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **"Phineas and Ferb present the** **Coolest Coaster Ever** **now open"? Mom!** _ **(runs off)**_

 **Pedro** **:** **Phineas and Ferb got a roller coaster? You think we get a discount if we bring the flier?  
** **Another kid:** **Maybe we better take it.** _ **(takes the poster)**_

 **Candace:** **Where, look, look, look, see? I told you I'm not crazy, I told you!  
** **Linda:** **And you're not crazy because?  
** _ **(Candace turns toward the post where the poster was and screams)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **I see your point, Candace. No crazy person would scream at a post like that. I'll be at the dairy section if you wanna come yell at some cheese or anything.** _ **(leaves)**_

 _ **(At the Flynn-Fletcher house, where the start of the coaster and a stage is. Ferb walks onto the stage up to the microphone as if he's about to speak, then steps out of the way as Phineas walks in.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. May I present to you a spectacle most of the morning in the making. The Coolest...Coaster...Ever!  
** _ **(Ferb reveals the coaster. A bird files into it.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **So, who wants to go first?  
** _ **(Everyone raises their hands)**_

"I'm so sorry Candace."

"Well are they busted?" Candace asked

"Well I can't punish them anymore but yes they are"

"YES!"

" _Desperate much."_

"Quiet you"

 _ **(on the rollercoaster...)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **To fasten, insert the tab inside the metal buckle. To release, just pull back on the, oops.  
** _ **(Phineas drops the safety belt)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, you get the picture. Well, that's about it, enjoy the ride.  
** _ **(The car goes over the top, and stops, viewing the long drop.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **You guys all signed the waivers, right?  
** _ **(The car goes around the coaster, on the track. Everyone screams.**_ **)  
** _ **(Going through the drop of snakes)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Relax, they're just rubber.**

"I think they are screaming about the rollercoaster, not the snakes." Monogram pointed out

"Yeah, I know." Phineas said sheepishly

 **** _ **(The car goes into a bucket of mud, then exits. Later, it goes through a car wash, to be cleaned from the mud.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, look, there comes the A-A-A-A!  
** _ **(The track is going up and down repeatedly, creating four "A"s.)**_

 _ **(Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **...I really make of my money back, I-I-I want a really spacey real estate, and sell it again.  
** _ **(Agent P sends a screw at Doofenshmirtz, which he ducks for.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ha, you missed!  
** _ **(The screw flies to the roof and hitting a line, which throws it back at Doofenshmirtz's foot.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Aaaoow! Ow, Ow, Ow, Aaooww!  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz jumps around and accidentally releases Agent P, who quickly attacks him.)(Agent P hits Doofenshmitz's foot.)**_ **Aaaoow!** __ _ **(During the fight, Doofenshmirtz activates the Magnetism Magnifier.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Now you are too late. Quake in your boots and watch helplessly, as the unimaginable electromagnetic forces, pull the eastern seaboard, thereby reversing the rotation of the-  
** _ **(All the tin foil releases from the buildings)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Well...that didn't work.**

"First, how did you cover a city in foil in one day at max and one complain. Second did you really think that will really work?" Kai asked wide eyed

"Well I did have a lot of time and remember poor planning skills." Doof answered, choosing not to answer the second part of the first question

 **** _ **(The tin foil forms into a giant ball, flying through the air)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **And now, we have a two ton ball of tin foil traveling 200 miles per hour directly at us! Quickly, we must separate the magnet from the Magnifier before it's too late!**

 _ **(At the store)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Now I know I have that club card in here somewhere. I always have it with me, but my purse is a disaster area, you know how it is.  
** _ **(Candace goes outside and sees the coaster)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Mom, Mom!**

 _ **(Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **It's no use, it's no use, we are doomed!  
** _ **(Agent P sees a helicopter. He jumps onto the magnet and fires a grappling hook at it. He quickly wraps some of the rope around the magnet. The helicopter flies off, taking the magnet with it.)**_ __ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **You did it! You saved us, Perry the Platypus!** _ **(The ball of tin foil crashes through the building.)**_ **Curse you, Perry the Platypus!**

"I can't believe you left me back there, Perry."

Chatter

"I know I suffer worse but still!"

 **** _ **(The magnet pulls a piece of the Magnetism Magnifier onto it, and gets stuck on the coaster, which then follows the helicopter into the sky.)**_

 _ **(Candace pulls Linda into the parking lot to reveal that the coaster has been removed.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Look, look, look, see?  
** **Linda:** _ **(pause)**_ **Okay, I give up, what am I supposed to be looking at?  
** **Candace:** _ **(turns to see the empty parking lot)**_ **No! It's not POSSIBLE!  
** **Linda:** _ **(going back inside)**_ **I'm gonna go get the cart.  
** **Candace:** **IT WAS** _ **RIGHT HERE**_ **AND IT WAS** _ **HUGE!**_ _ **(sees the rollercoaster fly away)**_ **Mom!  
** **Linda:** **Time to go. I've got frozens.  
** **Candace:** **Okay, so you think that Phineas and Ferb are still under that stupid tree in the backyard, right?  
** **Linda:** **Well, yes, that would be my guess.  
** **Candace:** **Fine, then lets go home. Now!**

"You know Candace, even if we didn't see Phineas and Ferb under it. They won't be busted"

 _ **(Agent P sees that the helicopter is smoking and cuts the rope. He drops down onto the coaster and in the cart, right behind Phineas and Ferb.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, there you are, Perry.  
** _ **(Perry chatters)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Nice hat, Isabella.  
** _ **(Isabella takes off Agent P's fedora and looks at it, confused.)**_

"Smooth Perry," Vanessa commented while the other agents took notes

 **** _ **(The car goes to the end of the track and flies onto a construction area and flings into the air.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Funny, I don't remember this in the blueprints.  
** _ **(An airplane picks up the car by the tail)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **And I'm sure this is new.**

 _ **(Candace sees the airplane from Linda's car)**_ **  
** **Candace** **: Hehehehehehehehehehe!  
** **Linda:** **I worry about you sometimes, Candace.**

" _Everyone would be."_

 _ **(The coaster car drops down and onto the Statue of Liberty, bending and throwing it to the woods. It lands on a pine tree which bends so they end up in front of Mr Slushy Burger.)**_ **  
** **Employee:** **Welcome to Mr. Slushy Burger, may I take your order?  
** **Phineas:** **Anyone want fries?**

 _ **(Before taking any orders, the tree bends back and throws them to France, Paris)**_ **  
** **French Man:** **Croissant?  
** **Phineas:** **Anyone want a** _ **(French accent)**_ **"quasson"?**

 _ **(The car gets flung into orbit)**_ **  
** **Singing Voice:** **Aahh-Aahh-Aaahhh** **  
** _ **(A satellite flies by)**_

 **Phineas:** **You know, if that thing crashes into earth, Candace is in charge.  
** _ **(The car suddenly falls down towards earth, towards the Tri-State area)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **We should have charged more.**

"You charged?" Isabella asked surprised

"No but we should have huh."

 _ **(Linda pulls the car on the driveway and Candace jumps out)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Okay, we're here, are you happy now, Candace?  
** _ **(Horror music, Candace opens the gate to the backyard and doesn't see Phineas or Ferb)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Yes.** _ **(At Linda)**_ **See Mom, I** _ **told**_ **you they weren't there!  
** _ **(Candace opens the gate and gestures toward the tree with her eyes closed. Linda pokes her head through the gate opening and sees the boys)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Oh, hi boys.** _ **(At this point, Candace opens her eyes and her mood changes to shock)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Hi Mom.  
** **Linda:** **Come on Candace, help me with the groceries.  
** **Candace:** **But but but but but but but...** _ **(Continues under)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Let's go!** _ **(pulls her away)**_

 _ **(On the backyard, kids drops down from the tree)**_ **  
** **Kid:** **Hey Phineas, that was great.  
** **Pedro:** **Way too cool.  
** **Third kid:** **That was awesome, can we do it again?  
** **Phineas:** **Sorry, only one ride per customer.**

"Because, you know, it blows up!" Phineas joked

 **Isabella:** **That was great Phineas. So, what are you gonna do tomorrow?  
** **Phineas:** **Don't know yet.  
** **Isabella:** **Maybe you could teach Perry some tricks.  
** **Phineas:** **Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much.**

"Well now he can do all the tricks." Katie giggled

 **** **Ferb:** **They're the only mammals to lay eggs.  
** **Phineas:** **...Maybe he'll lay an egg.  
** **Isabella:** **Cool, see you tomorrow. It really was the coolest coaster ever. You guys makes a great team.  
** **Phineas:** **Well, a brother is a brother, but I couldn't have asked for a better one than Ferb. You know what I mean?  
** _ **(Ferb burps)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh-ho-ho, man! I could smell the peanut butter!  
** **Isabella:** **Well that was impressive. See you guys.** _ **(leaves)**_

 **Phineas:** **So what should we do tomorrow? There's a world of possibilities. Maybe we should make a list!  
** _ **(The coaster car explodes in the tree, a car alarm and a dog barking can be heard)**_ **  
** **Candace:** _ **(from inside)**_ **Mom!  
** **Linda:** _ **(from inside)**_ **Give it a rest, Candace!  
** _ **(The tin foil ball rolls in the background)**_

"…Mrs Flynn how did you able to ignore an explosion"

"Well obliviousness does run in the Flynn family line." Ferb pointed out

"Yes, yes it does." Linda, Candace and Phineas said embarrassed

" _Well on to the next episode."_

 **The OC's purpose is to ask questions that concern logic. I mean the question the Kai asked won't be asked by any of the cast after all. The first part is just wish fulfilment so ignore it is you want. Well I hope you like it, if you have any questions please leave it as a review or PM me.**


	2. Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything I write**

 _ **(Scene opens up showing a bird flying, then burns.)**_

"Birdie NO!" Adyson cried out. Monogram's eyes were wide in horror, "That was one of our agents!"

 **Stanky Dog** **:** **This is Stanky Dog comin' to you on the hottest of the summer! Unless you live at the beach, I say take it easy and do nothin' today. Yup, just find yourself a shady tree, and maybe an aquatic mammal of some sort, and blow the whole day off.**

"How convenient that we already had everything huh Ferb." Phineas said as he nudged his brother. Ferb said nothing but gave him a thumbs up

 **Phineas** **:** **Come on, Ferb. If we let a little heat stop us from having the best day ever, then the morning DJs win.**

"Somebody has a grudge against morning DJs." Gretchen said with an eyebrow raised

"It was a phase, I'm over it." Phineas said, shrugging

 **Linda** **:** **Ooh, boy, it's hot today! So what are you up to?**

"No kidding, it killed one of our agents!" Monogram said, eyes still wide in horror

 **Phineas:** **We're making our own beach, right here in the backyard.** **  
** **Linda:** _ **(Oblivious)**_ **Oh, how cute. Well, I'm off to my spa day. You boys behave yourselves and don't bother your** **father** **. He's finally cleaning out the basement.** _ **(Leaves)**_ **  
** **Candace** **:** **Bye, Mom! Yes! You heard her. We can't bug dad which makes me in charge... by default.** _ **(pauses)**_ **Carry on.** **  
** **Phineas:** **We're gonna need more sand. Hey, where's Perry?**

 **Perry opens the top of a decorative mushroom in the backyard. When he reaches the bottom, he steps to his right and his fedora drops onto his head from a different tube.**

"That was nice." Kai said, amazed

 **Major Monogram** **:** **Good morning, Agent P. Lawn gnomes across the Tri-State Area are disappearing, leaving thousands of gardens unprotected from the evils of black magic. We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get right on it.**

 **Contractor:** **Aren't you a little young to be a landscape contractor?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yes, yes I am.**

"I've been meaning to ask, how come they don't question you any further even though you admit that you are too young to be doing what you are doing?" Kai asked

"It because of the confidence that Phineas shows when he answers the questions. They think that he must be some sort of prodigy and as such don't question him anymore than that." Ferb answered Kai

Kai gave a sound of understanding, "I see. You're right even I would be convinced"

 **Isabella** **:** _ **(Offscreen, dreamy look and voice)**_ **Hi, Phineas.** _ **(Walks up to him)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, hey Isabella.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Whatcha doin'?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Building a beach. Check it out.** **  
** _ **(Ferb is shown posing on a giant sprinkler.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Can me and the Fireside girls be lifeguards? We need to earn our Aquatic-Safety badges.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Sure.** **  
** **Candace:** **I mean, I've been a friend of Suzy's longer than Katie, so I should've been invited to that party first. I don't care if they're lab partners! We're locker neighbors. And locker neighbors trumps lab partners any day.** _ **(Gasps)**_ **Sorry Stacy. Gotta go.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Welcome to our beach.**

"You were so cute back then."Kai whispered to Katie as she blushed and giggled

 **** **Candace:** **Hah! You call that a beach? This is WAY below your usual standard. This isn't even worth a call to mom. You know, if you guys ever want to be popular, you're gonna have to stop playing in sandboxes.** _ **(Gets hit by a beach ball)**_ **Hey!**

"I thought that it was our usual standard Candace. Did you really think that we will stop at a sandbox?"

"Stop rubbing it in Phineas." Candace muttered as she facepalmed

"…What happened to the neighbourhood?"

" _That was me. Nice touch huh? Can't have a beach if the ocean is not even a meter long and wide now can we?"_

 **Phineas:** **So Candace, what do you think?** **  
** **Candace:** **That's it! I'm calling Mom.** **(dials the phone)** **  
** **Stacy** **:** **Hey, Candace.** **  
** **Candace:** **Jenny? Stacy?** **  
** **Jenny:** **You never told us you have a beach in your backyard!** **  
** **Stacy:** **You're going to be the most popular girl in the neighborhood.** **  
** **Candace:** **I will?** **  
** **Stacy:** **I just saw Jeremy and his buddies with their surf boards.** **  
** **Candace:** **Jeremy's here?** **(Panting, drops phone)** **Gotta go!** **(Zips off)**

"Can't believe that I fooled Mrs Hirano with the determination that I showed to bust my brothers."

"I know right? Good thing Jeremy wasn't there that day."

"Stacy!?"

" _Oh I bought her in."_

 **Perry!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **(chuckles)** **Yes, yes! Just look at the bounty of gnome riches! Oh, this is a strange one. Wait, who are you? ... A platypus?** **... PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!**

Everyone looked at Doofenshmirtz. "I couldn't tell Perry from a normal Platypus if he wasn't wearing his hat for years." He said, feeling embarrassed

 **Doofenshmirtz:You are mine now! (Presses button, garage door opens)** **Oh no, wait, wait, wait. That was the garage door opener. You are mine now!** **(Presses button, large monitor activates)** **And that was the TV remote. I've got to start labelling these things. Aha! YOU are mine NOW!** **(Laughs maniacally)**

"Now that I think about it. There were so many times you could have escaped early Perry and stop me, why didn't you?" Doof asked

Chattered

"You felt sorry for me? You know if I was still evil I would have made an evil scheme to get back at you but I'm good now so I will settle for this, Curse you Perry the Platypus!"

Everyone laughed at the exchanged

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Finally, I will rid myself of you!** **(brings out another control)** **But first, turn your attention to the giant screen and...** **(the garage door closes)** **Hmm, maybe I need to turn the cable on first?** **(Cuts to the backyard beach.)**

 **Phineas:** **Let's get this beach party started!  
** _ **(Song: "**_ _ **If Summer Only Lasted One Day**_ _ **")**_ **  
** **Well we'll wake up early and wax our surfboards down!** **  
** **(Hit the beach, yeah we'll hit the beach)** **  
** **Throw our board shorts on and head for surfin' town** **  
** **(we'll hit the beach, yeah we'll hit the beach)** **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, look! I can see our house from up here!**

"You could have seen your house even if you weren't Parasailing you know. It is in your backyard after all." Carl pointed out

"What can I say, I was young back then." Phineas shrugged

 **Candace:** _ **(Coconut falls)**_ **Oh!** _ **(Falls on crab, Groaning)**_

 **Crowd:** **How low can you go? How low can you go?  
** **Dancer:** **Look! So that's how low you can go. We've been asking that question for generations!  
** **Candace:** **What? What's everybody looking at?  
** **Dancer:** **For winning the limbo contest, you are now officially crowned Queen Wahini of the beach! All hail Queen Wahini!  
** **Candace:** _ **(overjoyed)**_ **I can't believe it!**

"Somebody was finally have fun."

" _Too bad it never last long"_

 **(Song: "** **Backyard Beach** **")** **  
** **Ferb** **:** **Listen up people and I'll teach ya** **  
** **'Bout Phineas and Ferb and the backyard beach-a,** **  
** **Every morning, Phineas, he gonna say (Say!)** **  
** **"Brother, whatcha gonna do today?"** **  
** **Now you see we're having fun, playing under the sun,** **  
** **And get in line, get in line, 'cause the wet ski's running** **  
** **A backyard beach, a backyard beach** **  
** **Nothing's outta reach, we got the backyard beach** **  
** **You can change in the broken hut,** **  
** **Drink out of a coconut, Three games for a token, but the rest is free** **  
** **You got skiing, parasailing,** **  
** **Surfing and a-flailing,** **  
** **Your contacts need saline,** **  
** **Or else, you can't see** **  
** **Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach** **  
** **Nothing's out of reach, we got the backyard beach** **  
** **Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach,** **  
** **Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach!** **  
** **Candace:** **I've never been happier in my entire life!**

 _ **(Cuts to Linda at the spa, she takes cucumber slices off her eyes.)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Something is very wrong. Not a single call from Candace.** _ **(Checks her phone)**_ **Not even a text message.** **Oga** **, hose me down. I'm going home.**

"Mom, when I call you to come home to bust the boys, you take your time and sometimes leave when you forget something. But when I don't call you come home immediately?"

"Your callings became part of my routine Candace, it felt unnatural that you weren't calling." Linda said embarrassed.

 _ **(Cut to Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Okay, I think I finally got the right one. Now, Perry the Platypus,** _ **(Shines flashlight on him)**_ **you will finally understand...my PAIN!** _ **(presses remote)**_ **  
** _ **(Flashback)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(narrating)**_ **Back in Gimmelshtump in the days of my youth, the Doofenshmirtzs' were a proud family. But those were lean times for my father and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our zatzenfruit garden from those witches, spells and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it would be me.** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** _ **Bewege dich nicht!**_ _ **("Don't move!")**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(narrating)**_ **While the other children played Kick-the-Schtumpel and eat Doonkelberries, I would stand for hours.** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** _ **Bewege dich nicht!**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **All through the cold night as the Spitzenhounds howled, my only companion was the moon. And my neighbor Kenny.** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(narrating)**_ _ **Bewege dich nicht!**_

Everyone had tears in their eyes. Most knew that the once-bad-now-good guy had a terrible childhood but they didn't know it was that bad.

"You are very tough man." Buford praised

"Meh, that was just the tip of the iceberg." Doof shrugged

Everyone's eyes widen in horror, they couldn't believe that it can get any worse. Doof's team stood by his side to comfort him, even if he seemed unaffected

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **And since my lawn gnome was taken away from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area! Behold, the Destruct-inator! And now, Perry the Platypus, to activate my creation!** _ **(pushes a button and opens Perry's trap)**_ **NOOOO!**

 _ **(Cut to the beach)**_ **  
** **Stanky Dog:** **Surf contest!** **  
** **Buford** **:** **Out of my way, Dinner-bell.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Hello, Buford. Perhaps you missed the sign.** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(reads the sign)**_ **"No Bullying, No Yodeling"?** **  
** **Man:** _ **(Austrian accent)**_ **I don't like this any more than you do**

"What was with the yodelling anyway?" Buford asked

"People were complaining about the noise." Phineas answered

"I don't think they were complaining about the yodelling." Baljeet said

Phineas looked surprised, "They weren't?"

Baljeet twitched

 **Stanky Dog:** **First up in the surf contest is** **Bobby Nelson** **. Oh! And Nelson eats it on five-footer! And there's** **Django Brown** **shooting the curl, and here comes Buford Van Stomm! Ohh! He pummels Brown with a Philadelphia traffic stomp! And now he's got him in a Half-Nelson, now a Full-Nelson, oh! And now he's actually beating him with Bobby Nelson! Here's the scores from our judges. And Buford doesn't like it one bit.** _ **(Buford smashes the table with Bobby)**_ **Next up is Phineas Flynn, and it's great to see a young surfer show such confidence. Uh-oh, what's this?** _ **(Buford splashes through the holographic Phineas)**_ **Oh, those kids today and their holographic projections. He's in the pipeline, now he's hangin' ten! He's hanging twenty! He's hangin' thirty-two! Now he's just hangin'! The crowd loves it! I don't think there's a name for that! The crowd is doing the wave, and Phineas is surfing it! Let's go to the judges.10 to the 5th power, infinity, and oh! It seems Phineas Flynn's radical surfing has made judge #3 re-think Einstein's theory of relativity! Cowabunga, laws of nature!**

 _ **Cut to Candace and Jeremy dancing.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **So, are you having fun?** **  
** _ **(The music changes)**_ **  
** _ **(Song: "**_ _ **The Moment Has Arrived (Our Song)**_ _ **")**_ **  
** **Girl, the moment has arrived** **  
** **I can see, although there is no light,** **  
** **The music, beats throughout the night** **  
** **And our love's in sight...** _ **(In the middle of the song)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Eee...** _ **(Cell phone rings)**_ **just one second.** _ **(dreamily, on phone)**_ **Hellooooo?** **  
** _ **(Cut to Linda in the car, she gets shocked by this.)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Uh, Candace? Is everything okay?** **  
** _ **(Cut back to Candace.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Ohh, everything is just wonderful...** **  
** _ **(Cut back to Linda, she gets shocked again.)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **And...Phineas and Ferb? What are they doing?** **  
** _ **(Cut back to Candace as Phineas surfs in the background.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Ohh, such wonderful things...** **  
** _ **(Cut back to Linda, she gets shocked once more.)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Candace, honey, I'm coming home.** **  
** _ **(Needle scratch, cut back to Candace.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Wait, WHAT?** **  
** **Linda:** _ **(On phone)**_ **I'm right around the corner; I'll be there in two minutes.** **  
** **Candace:** **Wait! No mom, you can't!** _ **(Linda turns off the phone.)**_ __ **Oh, wait, wait! Uhh...** _ **(at Jeremy)**_ **Stay right there!** _ **(runs off)**_ **I've got to stop her!** _ **(Looks out the backyard gate)**_ **Oh, no, no, no, no...** _ **(Linda arrives)**_ **Mom, Mom, pleeaaasee, Mom! Go away! Don't come in!**

"I think that was the only moment where Jeremy took over your busting urge. Usually you try to do both." Stacy commented

 _ **(Underground, the fight resumes. Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz into a lever, switching it to "Blow" forming a mountain in the middle of the ocean.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Is that a volcano?** **  
** _ **(Volcano blows up)**_ **  
** **Stanky Dog:** **GNOOOOOMES!** _ **(Gnome hits him)**_ **Oof!** **  
** **Man:** **Run for your lives! It's gnome-ageddon!** **  
** **Man #2:** **Who's protecting our gardens?!**

"Gnome-ageddon. If that was a movie I would definitely watch it." Kai chuckled

"It would also have been an interesting way for the world to end" Katie added

 _ **(Cut to Linda)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Candace, tell me the truth.** _ **What**_ **is going on here?  
** **Candace:** _ **(Sighs, talking fast)**_ **Phineas and Ferb built a beach in the backyard, just like they said they were going to. But instead of just a cute little beach in a sandbox; it turned out to be this absolutely huge beach, with a coastline, and palm trees, and a pier, and hula dancers, and water skiers, and tiki huts, and dolphins, and dancing, and surfing, and everybody from the neighborhood showed up-**

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oof!**

 **Candace:** **...and then I was just about to share a smoothie with Jeremy when a coconut dropped on my head, and ...and just for a moment, it seemed that the wily Buford would steal away the coveted surfing trophy from under the noses of our heroes...then I can only continue my benign reign and spread love, happiness and ultimate popularity throughout my kingdom! If you would just let me have my moment!**

"You really liked that idea huh Candace?" Phinease teased

 **** **Phineas:** **Oh, there you are Perry.  
** _ **(Perry chatters)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Well everybody, looks like that's all for today!  
** **Crowd:** **Phineas and Ferb! (X3)  
** **Candace:** **If you don't believe me, go see for yourself.  
** _ **(Linda enters the backyard)**_

 **Phineas:** **That was great.  
** **Linda:** **Hey, boys.  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, mom.  
** **Linda:** **So how was your day at the beach?  
** **Candace:** **Wait, wait, my kingdom...my Jeremy...it was all so beautiful...!** _ **(panics, at Phineas and Ferb)**_ **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PARADISE?!** _ **(pants)**_

"Forget like, more like love"

 **** **Linda:** **Candace, honey, I think it's time to get you out of the sun for a little while.** _ **(she and Isabella leads Candace away.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **I think she had fun.**

 **(Song: "If Summer Only Lasted One Day")** **  
** **If Summer only lasted one day!** **  
** **(Summer only lasted one day!)**

 **** **Stanky Dog:** **Stanky Dog here with a special shout-out to my two new pals, Phineas and Ferb, for hosting a beach party that was hot, hot, hot. And speaking of hot, slather on the sunscreen listeners, cause tomorrow's weather calls for another scorcher.  
** **Ferb** **:** **With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes.  
** _ **(Phineas laughs.)**_

" _Well that was fun, shall we go on to the next episode?"_

"Still can't believe one of my agents died like that…"

 **Quick** **question, are there any episodes you like me to do? I'll do the specials and the movie eventually but some suggestion for episodes would be much appreciated. I hope you've enjoyed and please review.**


	3. When Worlds Collide

Disclaimer: I don't own anything I write

 _ **(At**_ __ _ **Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated**_ __ _ **a large beam of green light is fired from the roof)**_ _ **  
**_ _ **Doofenshmirtz**_ _ **:**_ __ _ **Oopsy-daisy.**_

 _ **Candace**_ _ **:**_ __ _ **(On the phone with**_ __ _ **Stacy**_ _ **)**_ __ _ **So then Jeremy said-**_ __ _ **(The green beam passes by her window disconnecting the call)**_ __ _ **Stacy? Phineas and Ferb! That was important!**_

"Meh, that was debatable." Stacy said, shrugging

 _ **Candace:You guys are so gonna get it! Mom!**_

 _ **Narrator:**_ __ _ **Elsewhere, in space.  
**_ _ **(The green beam hits a planet, drawing it closer)**_

 _ **Candace:**_ __ _ **I think the boys are shooting green lasers in the backyard. Look.**_

"Why did you think it was our fault Candace?"Phineas asked

"Well, who do know that can cause strange things to happen?"

Doofenshmirtz raised his hand but was shot down by Candace, "I didn't know you then."

"Fair enough." Phineas concede

 _ ****_ _ **(She looks and sees Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, and Perry in the backyard.)**_ _ **  
**_ _ **Phineas**_ _ **:**_ __ _ **(Looking through a telescope)**_ __ _ **Ferb, I can totally see up your nose.  
**_ _ **Linda**_ _ **:**_ __ _ **Hey kids, how's the over-nighter going?  
**_ _ **Phineas:**_ __ _ **Great Mom, everyone's helping, even Perry.  
**_ _ **Linda:**_ __ _ **Candace, do you remember two weeks ago, when we wrote up**_ __ _ **this contract**_ _ **?  
**_ _ **Candace:**_ __ _ **The Bust Accord?  
**_ _ **Linda:**_ __ _ **And do you recall article twelve?  
**_ _ **Candace:**_ __ _ **Yes, "I will not attempt to bust my brothers more than once a day." I remember. But-  
**_ _ **Linda:**_ __ _ **And what happened earlier today?**_

"While on the subway?" Ginger asked

"Candace told me the story of what the boys were doing that day in the subway, everyone looked at her as though she was crazy, I did it for her own protection."

"From a distance of more than 1500 miles? I'm surprise you could have seen what was happening from that far away Candace." Phineas said

"My busting senses were tingling."

"While covered in hair and honey?" Holly asked with an eyebrow raised.

"That must happen a lot if it was part of the contract." Milly added

"You can't believe how many times that happens. Each time more embarrassing than the last. One time she tried to bust the boys while I was at my favorite author's book signing, she gave me the third and fourth volume of, you and your high strung teen. She even asked if she could use Candace as a case study " Candace couldn't help but grin sheepishly when she heard her mom said that

"While holding or otherwise in possession of a wild or domesticated animal? What's the story behind that?" Carl asked

"She would sometimes carry animals with her while trying to find me. Her screaming for me to bust the boys would make the animal attack her."

 **Candace:** **I tried to show you a** **giant ant farm** **.**

"Giant ant farm?" Kai asked

" _I'm not showing them in chronological order. You'll see it eventually."_

 **** **Linda:** **Excellent, we have an understanding. Now go to bed. You can try again tomorrow.** **(She leaves)** **  
** **Candace:** **Fine! I'll just wait till tomorrow. Wait a minute, at midnight it'll be tomorrow. I can just stay up and bust them.**

"Why can't you be this focus when we are doing homework?" Stacy complained

 **Baljeet?** **:** **This sleep over is a good idea.** **  
** **Buford** **:** **How are we all supposed to see thought that puny telescope?** **  
** **Phineas:** **The telescope is just to find the probe we launched seventeen months ago. Then we can tap into the signal from deep space. And using Dad's old projection screen, and some fiber optics to relay the images from the probe, we can view the galaxy in comfort from these lawn chairs.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(From her window)**_ **Space probe? Fibre optics? Ooh, I can smell a bust comin' tonight.**

"To be honest, I didn't understand those words at all." Candace admitted

 **Phineas:** **These joysticks should the space probe remotely.** **  
** **Buford:** **Come on, already! Let's start lookin' for stuff.** **  
** **Isabella** **:** **Buford, I've never seen you so enthusiastic.** **  
** **Buford:** **I have my reasons.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Oh, here we go again. He's going to tell the story of when he was abducted by aliens.** **  
** **Buford:** **It wasn't an abduction, it was an encounter.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Encounter?**

"Why were you so curious any way? You met aliens, multiple times in fact" Candace asked

"It's always nice to hear new things."

 **Buford:** **Yeah, I was walkin' out in the middle of the woods one night with my lucky tambourine.**

"Why were you in the woods anyway?" Baljeet questioned

"It was part of my monthly-bully routine."

 _ **(Song: "**_ _ **Whalemingo**_ _ **")**_ _ **  
**_ _ **Buford:**_ __ _ **(singing offscreen)**_ __ __ __ _ **Float by,**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **Drift through my dreams!**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **Whalemingo! (Whalemingo!)**_ __ __

 _ **In the sky,**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **Like strawberry cream!**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **Whalemingo! (Whalemingo!)**_ __ __

 _ **You take a whale,**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **You drop the fla-**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **You keep the mingo!**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **That's how I named it**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **Whalemingo! (Whalemingo!)**_ __ __

 _ **If you see a big, pink whale**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **With feathers and a beak,**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **And skinny little legs, then bingo,**_ __ __ _ **  
**_ __ __ _ **That's a whalemingo! (Whalemingo! Whalemingo! Whalemingo!)**_ __ __

 _ **I think of you all the time, whalemingo.**_ __ _ **(Whalemingo! Whalemingo! Whalemingo!)**_ __ __

 **Buford:** **That's my story!  
** **Phineas:** **I didn't know you had a lucky tambourine.**

"Of all the things you focus on, you focus on that?" Adyson asked

"Well, Buford didn't seem like the type to have a lucky tambourine."

"…Your right."

"Hey!"

 **** **Baljeet:** **This whole story is ridiculous.  
** **Buford:** **No it's not! I have proof.  
** **Baljeet:** **Ugh, here comes the picture.  
** **Buford:** **See?** _ **(Buford shows his picture)**_ **I named him Tristan.  
** **Baljeet:** **That is just a flamingo.  
** **Buford:** **Tristan is not a flamingo, he's from outer space, and he's a** _ **whalemingo.**_ **But then he had to go home, and I never saw him again. Hey! What are you doin' with your hands?  
** **Baljeet:** **...Mocking you.  
** **Buford:** **Alright, I'd be angry, but I admire your honesty.**

"You were the nicest bully I ever had."

"I was your only bully."

 _ **(The back of the lawn chair Perry was lying on flattens, rolling him thought two croquet hoops, hitting the pin, and dropping him into his lair)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram** **:** **There you are Agent P. Sorry to call you in a second time today but...** _ **(Perry stares at Monogram)**_ **Oh, this? It's- it's just an exfoliating mask. I have another ten minutes before I can peel it off, or I get zero of the benefits. Agent P, we just got word that Doof may have fired tomorrow's -inator, today. This is a major breach in protocol. So give yourself a good slap in the face, and get over there.** **  
** **Perry!**

"Your agency and all your enemies have an agreement?" Jeremy asked, unbelieving

"Well, it took a lot of force but we managed to do it. It was also one of the reasons why our budget was so tight that time." Major Monogram said proudly

"I thought it was because of your pri-"

"Quite Carl."

 **Phineas:** **Okay gang, let's fire this thing up.** **  
** _ **(The probe turns on, sending signals back to earth, and onto the projection screen)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **Wow.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Ooh.** **  
** **Buford:** **Oh. Zoom in on the swirly thing. my gut tells me that's where the whalemingos are.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Roger that. Hey! It's our** **milkshake bar** **! And business seems to be booming.** **  
** **Buford:** **What about over to the left?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Okay.** _ **(The probes moves over)**_ **Wow.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Yeah, wow.** **  
** **Phineas:** **It's a whole planet of-** **  
** **Buford:** **...Whalemingos.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **I do not believe it, Buford was right.** **  
** **Isabella:** **They're all so, beautiful.** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(Gasps)**_ **Tristan.**

"Now that I look at it again, I'm surprised that a race that looks so primitive have the ability to travel through space. OW!" Baljeet cried

"Don't insult Tristan!"

 _ **(Song: "**_ _ **Double Dutch**_ _ **")**_ **  
** **Double Dutch Machine:** _ **Volgen nu!**_ **  
** **One dutch, two dutch** **  
** **Queens of the double dutch** **  
** **We skip better than you by that much** **  
** **Watch our feet, our moves are sweet** **  
** **Our double dutchin' won't -** _ **(Winding down)**_ **be beat...**

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Perry the Platypus? How did you get stuck in my double dutch machine? That's not even a trap. Anyway what are you doing here?** _ **(Perry nods to the hole in Doofenshmirtz's ceiling)**_ **Oh, that. The beam that I shot through my roof? Well that was just an accidental misfire from my Sphere-attract-inator. Luckily it was pointed up, so it didn't hit anything.**

"Anything but that plant." Doof joked. He saw the bland stares and remembered the Apocalypse that he almost caused. "Oh right, sorry…"

 **Doofenshmirtz:Anyway, I started thinking, and realized the true measure of a man is having a world famous roadside attraction. But which one to choose? Which one would be the most spectacular? Then it hit me, nothing brings them in like a big ball of twine. So that's why I built the Sphere-Attract-inator. To steal the worlds largest ball of twine! Then all I need is some sort of road to put it beside. Right?**

Doof saw Kai open his mouth, "Ok, ok I get it. It was a terrible plan I know!"

"…I was only about to ask for some water." A glass appeared in front of him. "Thanks"

" _You're welcome"_

 _(Cut back to the backyard)_  
 **Phineas:** I gotta admit Buford, I had my doubts, but whalemingos are truly amazing.  
 **Buford:** Told ya.  
 _(The image on the projector begins to blur)_  
 **Buford:** Hey! Why is everything all fuzzy?  
 **Phineas:** I'm not sure, let me back it up, and we'll take a look.  
 _(The probe backs up, showing only the planet)_  
 **Buford:** It looks like the planet's growing. Planets do that, right?  
 **Baljeet:** It is not growing, it is getting closer!  
 **Isabella:** This sounds serious.  
 **Baljeet:** Ah! this is catastrophic! Should we not do something? Should no one inform the populous of the impending impact?  
 **Phineas:** Calm down Baljeet. I'm sure the government scientists are already doing something.

 _(At the North America Planetary Defense Headquarters in Marion, Iowa; all of the scientists are running about, completely freaking out)_  
 **Scientist 1:** Duck and cover!  
 **Scientist 2:** My watermelon!

"Ladies and gentleman, may I present to you the government scientist. Where a watermelon and some corn is more important than the populous and their jobs. It is also a place that is absolutely useless, but we don't say that in public." Kai said sarcastically

 **Baljeet:** **Based on my calculations, the planet will be here by midnight!** **  
** **Buford:** **That's great news!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Our planets are going to collide! You do know what that means?** **  
** **Buford:** **Sure, it's like when you have two sets of keys. And you keep one them in your car.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **No, it means...NO! It means all life is going to be wiped out on both planets!** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(gasps)**_ **Guys we've gotta save Tristan!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Anything else, Buford?** **  
** **Buford:** **And the Earth.**

"You really need to check your priorities Buford." Baljeet said exasperated

"I did!" Baljeet groaned when he heard that

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, Perry the Platypus, what do you say we open the up the roof and activate the Sphere-Attract-inator? Then I can get a good nights rest before all the crowds arrive to see the world's biggest ball of-** **  
** _ **(Perry launches himself at Doofenshmirtz, pushing them backwards, eventually setting off the Double Dutch Machine)**_ **  
** **Double Dutch Machine:** _ **Nu!**_ **  
** **One dutch, two dutch** **  
** **Queens of the double dutch** **  
** **We skip better than you by that much** **  
** **Watch our feet, our moves are sweet** **  
** **Our double dutchin' won't be beat** **  
** _ **Touwtje springen**_ **, fast feud.** **  
** _ **Touwtje springen**_ **-**

"Whoa Dad, you are an incredible fighter." Vanessa said, amazed

"Why, thank you Vanessa."

 **Isabella:** **What are we going to do?** **  
** **Phineas:** **We could use electro magnets, if only we knew the planet's molecular density.** **  
** **Buford:** **I got a pail of water, and a nest to make comfortable. I figure I can keep him in my garage 'till spring.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Spring. Spring! That's it. Guys I know what we're gonna do tonight!**

 **One dutch, two dutch** **  
** **Queens of the double dutch** **  
** **We ski-** **  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz turns off the double dutch machine)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, sassy.  
** _ **(Perry throws himself at Doofenshmirtz, who crashes into his board, breaking it, and causing the -inator to fire, hitting the world's largest ball of twine, drawing close)**_

 **Candace:** **I knew they'd practically bust themselves, if I just waited long enough. You guys are so busted, in like... nine minutes.  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, hey Candace, glad you're still up, you'll get to see the cool planet coming directly at us. But don't worry, we're building a giant spring to bounce it back into space where it came from.  
** **Candace:** **A spring? That's not vert scientific. But it is still bustable.**

"You need to get your priorities check to Candace." Ginger said

 **** **Phineas:** **Here comes the planet now.  
** **Buford:** **I can't wait 'till they get here. Tristan!  
** **Candace:** **Finally! It's tomorrow!** _ **(Candace busts into Linda and Lawrence's room)**_ **Mom! Mom! What are you guys doing?  
** **Lawrence** **:** **Oh, hi honey, we were just listening to some records. It's what we used to use for music when we were kids.  
** **Linda:** **Candace I thought we had an understanding.  
** **Candace:** **Yeah, it's midnight, tomorrow.**

 _ **(The planet continues to come towards the spring. Isabella hesitantly reaches her hand out to grab Phineas's, only to grab Ferb's by mistake)**_ **  
** **Ferb** **:** **Don't worry, it'll be alright.**

"I was so close yet so far." Isabella sighed, "And that keeps happening!"

 **** _ **(The planet fully compresses, and Buford comes face to face with Tristan, while the world's largest ball of twine floats by, catching on the whalemingo planets, and unraveling)**_

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **The world's largest ball of twine is on its way! You'd better stand back, it's supposed to be huge!** _ **(The ball of twine now much smaller arrives)**_ **What? That's it?**

 _ **(The spring begins to decompress)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **Goodbye Tristan! Remember me!** _ **(Buford throws up his lucky tambourine, and Tristan catches it on his neck.)**_

"I hope he did remember me." Buford sighed.

" _He does you know. I can bring him here some time ."_

"You can?! Thanks!"

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **I got a twine ball bigger than this in my junk drawer.  
** _ **(The -inator, being pulled by the twine attached to the whalemingo planet pushes Doofenshmirtz off the edge of the building, and wraps around itself the giant spring)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Help me Perry the Platypus! I'm slipping!** _ **(Perry grabs a double dutch machine, and catches Doofenshmirtz by the ankle with the jump rope)**_ **Oh thank you Perry the-** _ **(Perry activates the machine, repeatedly slamming Doofenshmirtz against the building)**_ **  
** **Double Dutch Machine:** _ **Nu!**_ **  
** **One dutch, two dutch** **  
** **Queens of the double dutch** **  
** **We skip better than you by...** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I mean curse you Perry the Platypus!**

"That was a terrible night." Doof sighed "Thanks for getting me out of the trap Vannessa."

"You deserved it for breaking protocol."

"Quite Major Monobrow

 **Candace:** **Hurry, let's go! Let's go!  
** **Linda:** **Clearly we need a thirteenth amendment to the Bust Accord.  
** _ **(The spring is about to come loose)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Moooooom?!  
** _ **(At this point, the spring gets pulled into space along with the -inator and whalemingo planet)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **You kids okay out here?  
** **Phineas:** **Yeah, we're great!  
** **Buford:** **We saw a giant planet filled with whalemingos.  
** **Linda:** **Whalemingos, huh? Why don't you all come on in for a midnight snack? Wash your hands. Especially you, Buford.  
** _ **(Perry jumps off his hover scooter, and lands back on the lawn chair)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey sleepy head, do you want a snack too?  
** _ **(Perry chatters, then jumps off the lawn chair)**_

" _And that's the episode. Hmm wonder what we should watch next?"_

Everyone heard the sound of something teleporting in. they look at the source of the sound to see a girl with reddish hair and dressed in a fashion that was similar to how Isabella was dressed all those years ago, only instead of pink it was in orange, and blue eyes. Beside him was a boy with hair that was similar in colour as Vanessa, green shirt and black jeans. They got off a machine that looked a lot like the one that Phineas and Ferb fixed in the museum

"See Thomas, I took you it would work!"

"You should still have let me help though. You know what happens when you build alone Marie"

" _I was not expecting this. Meh, it's a welcomed surprised"_

 **Quick** **question, are there any episodes you like me to do? I'll do the specials and the movie eventually but some suggestion for episodes would be much appreciated. I hope you've enjoyed and please review.**


	4. Operation Crumb Cake

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything I write**

Marie and Thomas noticed where they were. "Um, this wasn't supposed to happen." Marie said as she shuffled awkwardly.

"What was supposed to happen?" Thomas asked

"Well, we were supposed to appear far away from Mom and Dad. Not in front of them."

Phineas, Isabella, Ferb and Vanessa blinked. These kids resembled them a lot, not to mention that they arrived in a time machine…

" _Phineas, Isabella, Ferb and Vanessa, I would like to introduce you to your children from the future._ _María Elyzabeth Flynn Garcia-Shapiro and Thomas James Fletcher"_

Phineas and Isabella fainted

" _That went better than expected"_

"Daddy! Mummy!" Marie cried as she rushed to her father's side.

Line break

"Daddy, wake up!"

Phineas opened his eyes, he had this crazy dream where he was in a room, watching his past and a girl from the future claiming to be his daughter. Well, he thought it was a dream till he saw Marie.

Marie's face brighten up, "Daddy! You're awake!". She turned her attention to Isabella, "And Mummy's waking up too!"

Isabella saw Marie and blushed. Phineas realised why, to have Marie the two of them must have married and…

Phineas blushed too. _Well I was about to propose,_ he thought. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ferb and Vanessa speaking to the other child, Thomas his mind supplied, quietly.

Everyone in the room heard the Mysterious Force did a spit-take. _"Marie did you build that yourself?"_

"Yes."

A bubble appeared around the Time Machine, just in time for it to explode. _"Next time Marie, work together with Thomas."_

Marie blushed in embarrassment

" _Since the two of you are here, might as well get comfortable and enjoy the next episode."_

Marie sat on her father's lap while Thomas sat by his father's side

" _Hmm, how about…_ _Operation Crumb Cake"_

Isabella's eyes widen, she blushed in embarrassment and hid her face in Phineas's shoulder, "I'm never going to hear the end of this" she muttered

"I heard of this!" Marie said as she bounced in Phineas's lap, "I can't believe I'm going to see this!"

 _ **(Opens up showing the Danville Senior Lodge.)**_ **  
** **Isabella** **:** _ **(from inside)**_ **Thanks for showing me the old scrapbooks, Nana.** _ **(cut to her with Nana and other senior citizens.)**_ **I love hearing about the old days. Tell me again about string art. And what was it like to get up and change the channel on the TV?**

"And that's folks is the burden of modern technology people." Kai joked

 **Nana's Friend:** **Oh, that's so cute, honey. Look at how old-fashioned I** _ **still**_ **am. I'm writing a letter. By hand.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Why don't you just text or call them?** **  
** **Nana Shapiro** **:** **Hoo-hoo-hoo! You kids know nothing of the lost art of letter writing. Back when we were young, we expressed our truest feelings in letters.** **  
** **Nana's Friend:** **Yes. You can tell someone how much they meant to you without worrying about getting interrupted. Or losing your nerve.** **  
** **Nana Shapiro:** **Or hiccupping. That was my problem.**

"My problem was holding the hand of the wrong person, Phineas's obliviousness and always being interrupted." Isabella sighed

"I read the letter! Mom wrote-hm" Marie was interrupted by Isabella.

"You are going to be in trouble if you don't stop talking young lady!" Isabella hissed

 **Nana Shapiro:When I was young, I had a crush on a certain boy, and I wrote a letter telling him how I truly felt. That boy ended up being your grandfather.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Wow. I've been wanting to tell someone how I feel for a long time, now.** **  
** **Nana's Friend:** **Really? I've got an extra pen and paper!** **  
** **Nana Shapiro:** **Now take your time, deeply state your feelings, and express your...** _ **(Isabella hands her the paper)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **I've been scripting this thing out in my head for years.**

"Have you now?" Phineas teased Isabella. She punched him in the shoulder, "Stop that!" She cried out, embarrassed

 _ **(Cut to the office where letters get sent)**_ **  
** **Nana Shapiro:** **Perfect time, and the postman's here.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Add this to your bag, my good sir.** _ **(hands over the letter about her true feelings about Phineas)**_ **So Nana, when Grandpa got your letter, did he come running to you and sweep you into his arms?**

"I would have done that if I read your letter you know." Phineas pointed out

"He was just oblivious to his own feelings, all he needed was a kick to the face, your letter would have been perfect."

" _That was surprisingly… insightful Buford"_

"I majored in Film, what do you expect?"

" _Hmm, I should stop talking now…"_

 **** **Nana Shapiro:** **What? Oh no. I never mailed it. I'm not brave like you. I mean, he would've laughed at me or shown the letter to his friends. Can you imagine the embarrassment?** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(gets nervous)**_ **Oh boy!**

"I later learned that it was a trick Nana played to get me to confess my feelings." Isabella sighed

 _ **(Cut to Phineas and Ferb's garage)**_ **  
** **Linda** **:** **Hon, why do you have all these boxes of take out food thingys?**

"I'm surprised you have so many Linda, usually I would throw them away." Doof said, surprised by the boxes.

"Oh Lawrence could never throw anything away, it comes with being an antique dealer after all."

 **** **Lawrence** **:** **It's such a waste to get rid of them. See? Look. Chopsticks and Ponzu sauce. That's Japanese but-but look, there's also a Chinese fortune cookie, that's what's known as fusion.** **  
** **Linda:** **Okay. I'm hungry.** **  
** **Lawrence:** **Oh. Let's go get some food. Would you kids like to come along?** **  
** **Phineas** **:** **No thanks, dad. We had fusion for breakfast.** **  
** **Lawrence:** **All right, then. I'll clear all these drawers and boxes out later, darling. See you, boys!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, Ferb! Let's do dad a favour and clear these drawers and boxes out for him! Oh, look at this! It's like a spoon and a fork together! What would you even call that?** **  
** **Ferb** **:** **In the UK, they call that a "foon".**

"I thought it was called a spork." Holly said

 **Buford** **:** **They do not!** **  
** **Phineas:** **It's a perfect fusion of aesthetics and utility. It's like a little work of art. Ferb, I...** **  
** **Candace** **:** **What? What are you doing?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Helping dad by clearing out this stuff.** **  
** **Candace:** **You're doing a chore? No way are you getting all the parent points. I've got chores to do, too. Carry on.**

"So you only do chores willingly if Phineas and Ferb are, Candace?"

"I'm… sorry?" Candace tried

"If you were 15 you would be in so much trouble!"

"Yes mom."  
 **Baljeet** **:** **You know, the drawer in our kitchen is full of honey and catsup.** **  
** **Buford:** **Yeah, and ours has red pepper flakes and little tubs of grated cheese.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, go home and grab it, guys! We're gonna make some art! Hey, where's Perry?**

 _ **(Cut to Perry)**_ **  
** **Doo-bee doo-bee doo-bah** **  
** **Doo-bee doo-bee doo...** **  
** _ **(Perry chatters three times)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram** **:** **Agent P, it seems that Doofenshmirtz is into astrology now, and that makes him very dangerous to us. I know what you're thinking. I was like you. I always thought horoscopes were a bunch of hooey. But then, I read my own horoscope. I'm a Sagittarius. It said, "It's a bad to get a haircut". How spooky is that? I had my haircut yesterday. Today would be a bad day to get a haircut. How do they know that stuff? If Doof figured out the astrological science of our agents, he could predict our every move!**

"I thought horoscope only give vague prediction." Katie said

"Doof still could predict our every move." Monogram defended…weakly **  
** **Carl** **:** **Excuse me, sir. I believe horoscopes are meant for entertainment rather to be taken as fact.  
** **Major Monogram:** **Of course, you think that, Carl. You're a Capricorn. You know what to do, Agent P.  
** _ **(Perry gets sprung out of his seat)**_

 _ **(Cut to Isabella)**_

 _ **(Cut to Isabella)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(in her head)**_ _ **Oh, come on, Isabella. What's so bad about writing a letter and expressing my feelings? Feelings are natural. Phineas is natural. We are both natural beings in the world. What feelings?**_ _ **(back to normal)**_ **Aw.** _ **(in her head)**_ _ **Did I really refer to him as "my little crumb cake"? Who does that?**_

"Me apparently." Isabella sighed as she buried her head in Phineas's shoulders, trying to drown out the sounds of everyone's laughter

 **Isabella:** _ **(back to normal)**_ **Come in,** **Fireside Girls** **!** **  
** **Holly** **:** **Go ahead, chief!** **  
** **Isabella:** **I just mailed a letter stating my true feelings to Phineas and we need to stop him before he reads it! This mission is top priority! I call it "Operation Crumb Cake"!** **  
** **Ginger** **:** **Crumb Cake? Is that what you called him?** **  
** _ **(all laugh)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Oh boy, it's worse than I thought.**

"Why don't you call me that?" Phineas whispered to Isabella.

Isabella blushed harder and buried her head deeper, "It's embarrassing."

"I don't mind, it's cute."

Isabella looked into Phineas's eyes, "Really?"

"Really."

Isabella smiled and kissed Phineas on the cheek, "Thank you my little crumb cake."

The girls awwwed at the sight while Marie gagged at the affection that her parents shared

 _ **Cut to Phineas and Ferb's backyard)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **Wow. Artsy.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yeah. We're really getting into it. Who knew that making an art piece out of old take out stuff would be so fun?** **  
** **Baljeet:** **It is almost like Tadashi Kawamata's massive chair sculpture in Abu Dhabi.** **  
** **Ferb:** **Or the** _ **Sub Lyric Pile Killabuster with Onion on Marble**_ **in Salzburg, Austria.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Really?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Actually, I think he just made that one up.**

"I was really surprised when that happened. I mean Ferb rarely ever talks, much less make jokes or make fun of me." Baljeet said

 **Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!** **  
** _ **(Perry walks in)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Oh, hello,** **Perry the Platypus** **. Could you be a sport and shut the door? It gets really drafty in here. Give it a good slam. Sometimes it sticks.** **  
** _ **(Perry falls for Doofenshmirtz's trap)**_

"I see what you mean by being able to escape or fight back whenever he wants. His legs aren't even trapped." Doof sighed **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ha ha! Betcha never dreamt you'd get caught in a dream catcher.**

"That was a very nice play on words Dr Doofenshmirtz." Kai Praised

"I have loads of them. And call me Doofenshmirtz, everybody does."

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Actually, Norm made that this morning. Who knew he was so crafty? Anyway, my astrologer believes that when Mercury is in retrograde, anything can go wrong and usually does. And, you know, she's always right, she has dark hair and bangs, and you know, as it turns out, Mercury has been in retrograde all summer. No wonder my evil schemes keep failing! And that is why I invented the Unretrograde-inator! You know, to reverse my bad luck. And I know that Unretrograde is sort of a double negative. It sounds like I'm making Mercury go forwards but I'm actually sending it backwards from going backwards which happens to look forward but it isn't. You know what? Basically, it's a Reverse-inator but... Unretrograde-inator! It sounded more astrology-y. Look. You know, I'll just show you how it works. Oh Norm! Could you come over here for a moment?**

"You have a robot butler?" Kai asked, eyes widen in surprised

"Well he wasn't always a Butler." **  
** **Norm** **:** **I'm almost finished cleaning up your mid-morning piñata, sir.**

"Heniz, why do you have a mid-morning piñata?"

"It's training." Doof noticed the stares he was getting. "It's shaped like a platypus." He tried to explained

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Yeah yeah.** _ **Qué bueno**_ **, Norm. Now, just stand right there.** **  
** **Norm:** **Oki-dokie.** _ **(gets zapped by the -inator)**_ **Oh my! I have a sudden urge to dump your piñata pieces back on the floor.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **It works!** **  
** **Norm:** **Now, I'm going to push the giblets back into the chicken.**

"I… don't know how I feel about that." Carl said feeling a bit sick

 _ **(Cut to a street as the mail truck drives past. Isabella, now wearing her Fireside Girl uniform, peeks out from behind a bush, puts on a bike helmet and rides off on her skateboard.)**_ **  
** _ **(Song: "**_ _ **I Need My Letter Back**_ _ **")**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(singing off-screen)**_ **Postmaster general, please help me out,** **  
** **I wrote a boy a letter now I'm filled with doubt.** **  
** **It was a sentimental notion** **  
** **To spell out my emotion that way** **  
** **Before I have a heart attack** **  
** **I need my letter back**

 **I need a retraction, a full-scale rejection,** **  
** **At least if I could edit it and soften the tone** **  
** **Please just leave it, I have to retrieve it,** **  
** **Don't say my opportunity has already flown** **  
** **Backup singers:** **Already flown!**

 **Oh, why did I ever sign my name?** **  
** **I don't want to be forever stamped in shame** **  
** **I'd have to move to Belgium** **  
** **And wear a really bad toupee** **  
** **So before I have a heart attack,** **  
** **Backup singers:** **She needs her letter back!** **  
** **It could be in this very stack** **  
** **Backup singers:** **She needs her letter back!** **  
** **It's hard to overstate this fact:** **  
** **I need my letter back!**

"I'm sorry?" Adyson tried to apologise, seeing that they could have gotten the letter back sooner if it wasn't for her

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought that the Fireside Girls were some sort of secret military organisation training young girls to be soldiers. I mean look at what their capable of!" Candace exclaimed with Kai nodding his head, agreeing with her

"You mean other groups can't do that?" Marie asked, actually puzzled

"I don't think other girl scouts have a Shrimp Net Repair Patch or a Running With The Bulls Patch and a Running With The Bullies Patch."

"It's their lost" Marie giggled

 **Isabella:** **We'll never catch them this way! But we will get that letter back! No matter how nicely or politely we have to ask! We'll cut them off at Phineas's house. Let's go!**

 _ **(Cut to Norm walking backwards.)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **Now I'm going to put food waste back on the dishes.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(reading the paper)**_ **Yes, yes, thank you, Norm.** _ **(to Perry)**_ **Does this make sense to you? Listen. "Someone is secretly speaking on your behalf."**

They heard the sound of laughter filled the room.

"Is something wrong?"

" _Oh nothing, just a little inside joke."_

 **** **Norm:** _ **(offscreen)**_ **Time to unmake the coffee.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **It sounds positive for me, and I like that, but who is speaking nicely of me? Wait, was it you, Perry the Platypus?  
** **Norm:** **Next, I'll unmake my dream-catcher.  
** _ **(He takes the dream-catcher off of Perry.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **No, no, don't do that!** _ **(Perry punches Doofenshmirtz.)**_ **You never let me finish my sentences.**

 _ **(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house. Isabella and the Fireside Girls run up to the mailbox.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **We're in luck! Looks like we're here before the mail's come! Okay, girls! Let's seal off this area! Holly, you go take up a scanning position one half-click to the north! Ginger, you got the south! The rest of you, fan out! We've got to intercept that letter!**

"See what I mean? Look at all the militaryness!"

 **Isabella:** **I'm going in back to keep Phineas distracted. Any questions?  
** **Gretchen** **:** **Yeah. How long has this mailbox been here?  
** **Isabella:** **Oy.** _ **(runs off)**_

"I was honestly confused. It was like it's there some times and gone the other." Gretchen said defensively

 _ **(Cut to Norm.)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **Now to unbrush my teeth. What am I doing?! Sir, the effect of your ray has worn off.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(sarcastically)**_ **I'm so happy for you. Listen, could you get this platypus off me?** **  
** _ **(Perry flips right off Doofenshmirtz.)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **Wow, is he hard to catch!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **You're just noticing this, huh? Go get 'im!**

 _ **(Cut to the fence. Isabella walks in.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Hey.** _ **(chuckles nervously)**_ **So, er, whatcha doin'?** _ **(chuckles again)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **What do you think? The world's largest art piece made entirely of takeout food packets and utensils.**

"…Where did you get all that. Even if you collected everything in the neighbourhood, it still won't be enough." Kai asked yet on one answered him

" _Kai, you are starting to get annoying. It's best you forget about logic now."_

 **** **Isabella:** **Oh, wow! Huh-huh. Artsy!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Right? Can I show you around?** **  
** **Isabella:** **Sure.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Here, Baljeet has thoughtfully recreated Gainsborough's** _ **The Blue Boy**_ **completely in red pepper flakes.** **  
** **Baljeet:** _ **(revealing his eyes are red, teary and bloodshot)**_ **I wish I would have thoughtfully recreated an eyewash station. Sheesh!**

"You know Baljeet, you could have gotten something to protect your eyes, like goggles." Ginger pointed out

"I know. It wasn't my brightest moment." Baljeet sighed

 **** **Phineas:** **Watch your step up the chopstick ladder.**

"Those are some large chopsticks" Stacy pointed out, " Are you sure those are chopsticks?"

 **From here, you can see the whole neighborhood.** **  
** _ **(Isabella notices the mailwoman coming.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Phineas, uh...let's switch places. The light catches the foon so beautifully from this angle.** **  
** **Ferb:** _ **(wolf whistles)**_ **  
** _ **(Cut to Ferb holding a cartoony sign with an envelope on it.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Awesome! The mail's here! Wonder if that comic book I ordered arrived.** _ **(climbs down)**_ **  
** **Isbaella:** **No no! Wait!** **  
** _ **(Cut to the sliding door as Candace walks out.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Hey, this doesn't look like a chore to me! It looks like a bust!**

 _ **(Cut to Holly hiding behind a tree watching the postwoman walk by.)**_ **  
** **Holly:** _ **(on walkie-talkie)**_ **The stamp is on the envelope.** **  
** _ **(Cut to the postwoman approaching the mailbox. Milly, Ginger and Katie walk up to her.)**_ **  
** **Ginger:** **Excuse me, but do you have a letter in your bag addressed to Danville resident Phineas Flynn?** **  
** **Postwoman:** _ **(searches in her bag)**_ **Hmm, looks like I do.** **  
** **Ginger:** _ **(sternly)**_ **We demand that you hand it over to us immediately!** _ **(politely)**_ **Please?**

"That wasn't very polite Aunt Ginger" Thomas said

"I said Please!' Ginger defended herself **  
** **Postwoman:** **I'm sorry, it is unlawful for a postal carrier to deliver any envelope or parcel into the hands of anyone except the intended recipient as indicated in the address column of said envelope or parcel.**

"I'm impressed. Such dedication." **  
** **Holly:** **What about afterwards? Can we jump him and wrestle it out of his hands?** **  
** **Postwoman:** **Honey, what you do with your afternoon is none of my business.**

"And it's gone **,** so much fordedication."

 **** **Phineas:** _ **(offscreen)**_ **Hey, Mrs. Ferguson!** _ **(walks up to the postwoman with Ferb)**_ **Did my comic book arrive today?** **  
** **Postwoman:** **No. Just this letter.** _ **(gives it to him)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(gasps)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, look! It's from you, Isabella!** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(in her head)**_ _ **Well, Isabella, here it is. He's finally going to know how you really feel. There's no turning back now.**_

 _ **(Cut to Perry climbing on the inator.)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **Come back here! Now I've got-** _ **(Perry spins the inator and it hits Norm.)**_ **-rhythm?** _ **(Norm falls forward and activates the inator.)**_

 _ **(Cut back to Isabella.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(in her head)**_ **At least you told the truth and you spoke from your heart,** _ **(smiles)**_ **I can accept this.**

 **** **Phineas:** _ **(offscreen)**_ **"Dear Phineas..."** _ **(cut to Phineas reading)**_ **Aw, and there's a little heart.  
** _ **(Phineas and the postwoman get zapped by the inator. He gives the letter back to her and they walk backwards.)**_ **  
** _ **(Song: "**_ _ **gnoS ykroW ykriuQ**_ _ **")**_ **  
** _ **(While going backwards, Phineas unmakes the giant artwork.)**_

"Huh, what do you know? It was literally turning back." Isabella said, smiling as everyone laughed

 _ **(Cut back to D.E.I.)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **Oh, no, I just realized I may have put the giblets in the hamster!** **  
** _ **(Perry pushes the self-destruct button. To his surprise nothing happens. He ponders for a moment and tries pressing again repeatedly.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ha! Gotcha! See, I began to think, "If only I had a nickel for every time you pushed my inator's self-destruct button", and then it hit me. You wouldn't have a nickel either because you don't have any pockets! Wait, wait, wait, what are you-?!** _ **(Perry takes off his fedora revealing a nickel on his head.)**_ **Oh, I forgot about your hat.**

"It's like he has everything in that hat!" Doof complained

Chatter

"Stop laughing at me!"

 _ **(Perry puts the nickel in the slot.)**_ **Curse you, Perry the Pla-** **  
** _ **(KABOOM!)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **See?! You never let me finish my sentences!**

 _ **(Cut to Candace's failed bust.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Awww! Of course.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Why did I do that?** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(to her mother)**_ **There was like a whole bunch of stuff the boys were clearing out!** **  
** **Linda:** **Speaking of "stuff", what's up with your room?** **  
** **Candace:** **Yep.** _ **(walks into the house)**_ **I'm on it.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Well, I guess we'll never know what was in that letter.** **  
** **Ferb:** _ **(smiling)**_ **No, I guess not. And neither will your "little crumb cake."** **  
** **Isabella:** **Milly!** **  
** **Milly** **:** _ **(whistles innocently)**_

"I'm still mad at you for that by the way." Isabella pouted

"That was so much fun! I can't believe that I've seen it for myself!" Marie said as she crawled into her mother's lap

"I agree, it was amusing." Thomas said for the first time since the episode started

" _You're welcome. Hmmm, perhaps we should learn more about the doctors past."_

"You don't have to do that you know." Doof said, "It'll spoil the fun."

" _Nonsense, you deserve some comfort after all this time. Now where did I put that disc?"_

 **Marie and Thomas belong to Paola Farfan (known as Angelus19). The age of People in Phineas's age group would be around 21? 22? Just somewhere at and below 23. People in Candace's age group would be in their late twenties I think? I know Candace should already have Amanda or at the very least be pregnant but I don't think I can add that element very well. Like always, please leave a review, suggest some episodes you would want to see and I hope you've enjoyed**


	5. This Is Your Backstory

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 _ **(Scene starts with a view of Candace's room)**_ **  
** **Candace** **:** _ **(talking to Stacy on the phone)**_ **I think you're right Stacy, the ocean would be a lot deeper without all those sponges.** _ **(Candace hears noises outside)**_ **What is that noise? It is driving me crazy! Aha!** **  
** _ **(Phineas and Ferb are in the backyard playing a game of table tennis)**_ **  
** **Phineas** **:** **Nice try Ferb, but you can't psych me out with your dead on celebrity impressions.**

"You can do celebrity impressions?" Baljeet asked, no matter how much he tried, he cannot imagine the stoic Ferb do any Celebrity impression

"He can do a pretty mean Thomas Brodie-Sangster impression." Phineas answered for his brother while Ferb just nodded

 **** **Candace:** **All right, what is this?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Table tennis.** **  
** **Ferb** **:** **Ping pong, for the layman.** **  
** **Candace:** **Yeah, yeah, but is it like, laser-activated, nuclear powered, supersonic ping pong?**

"We should try that someday. It will be like that time we did Jackpack Volleyball!" Phineas exclaimed

"We are so doing that." Marie whispered to Thomas

 **** **Phineas:** **No, good idea though.** **  
** **Candace:** **Ping pong, huh? I bet. I'll just stay right here until the inevitable weirdness happens. Any minute now. Alright, so where's Perry?**

 _ **(Scene shifts to D.E.I.)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram** **:** _ **(Through Perry's wristwatch communicator)**_ **Monogram to Agent P. Already airborne, I see. I like that! Doofenshmirtz has recently purchased an inordinate number of chairs. Hundreds of them! Far more than necessary for a person with no friends, and only one tushee. Well actually I'm, I'm just sort of assuming about the tushee. But I'm pretty confident in the no friends thing. You think it'd be the other way around, but the way he's always playing with forbidden science, you can never really be... This is coming out kinda weird, huh. Look, you're going over their anyway, just, just take a look, okay? Monogram out.**

Monogram noticed the stares he was getting, "What?"

"Wow Francis you really know how to cut deep. Besides I have friends. I have my team!" Doof defended

"They weren't your friends back then."

"I have Perry."

"He's your frenemy, not your friend"

"I-I had Norm!"

"He's your robot butler, not your friend."

"I-I had Peter the Panda!"

"He's your ex-nemesis, again not your friend."

"I-I-I" Doof slumped and sighed, "Your right I have no friends."

"Aww, it's okay Grandpa Doofy," Marie comforted as she patted his back, "You have lots of friends now."

"Thank you." Doof smiled at his…grandniece? He still couldn't believe that these two came from the future

 **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Psst! Perry the Platypus, over here. Hurry, hurry, it's- the show's about to start!  
** _ **(Perry goes and sits next to Doofenshmirtz in one of the chairs)**_ **  
** **Norm** **:** **Ladies and gentlemen!  
** _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **Evil Tonight**_ __ _ **(instrumental))**_ **  
** **Norm:** **Someone in our studio audience has a date with history! So come on up, because this is your backstory, Heinz Doofenshmirtz!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Me? Hahahahaha! It's me, Perry the Platypus!  
** **Norm:** **Let's give him a big round of applause!  
** _ **(Norm throws a lever, starting a clapping track, and forcing Perry to clap, via two mechanical arms)**_

Everyone laughed

"You know that proves my no friends statement right?"

"Quite Monogranpa."

 **** **Norm:** **Tonight we explore the life of a true evil find out just what makes him tick.**

"You give yourself too much credit Doofenshmirtz." Carl stated flatly

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **But how?  
** **Norm:** **I'm glad you asked! With the help of our exciting but potentially lethal memory extraction technology, all of your most deeply suppressed memories will appear right on this screen!**

"…You hooked yourself up to a possibly fatal machine?" Kai asked, "Isn't that, I don't know, dangerous

"Meh, wouldn't have killed me anyway." Doof shrugged

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **It's like a TV clip show fueled by your own brain. Now let's start our trip down memory strasse on the day of your birth, in beautiful Gimmelshtump, Drusselstein!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I don't really remember much about it, I was pretty young at the time, but- ooh! Ooh-Ooh!** _ **(The tube connected to the helmet Doofenshmirtz is wearing begins to bubble)**_ **I can feel it tingling; something's coming out!  
** **Norm:** _ **(Norm shows a clip from when Doofenshmirtz**_ __ _ **was born**_ _ **)**_ **Aww, how cute! But where's Mom?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **She didn't, uh- show up for the birth.**

Everyone gasped, nobody could believe that one's own mother won't show up for their child's birth

"That's so wrong on so many levels." Thomas said, "How could they?"

"I never found out why they hated me so much." Doof looked out the window, it was obvious that he was a least a bit affected "But I'm over it."

 **** **Norm:** **Remember this voice?  
** **Doctor:** **When they are born, we slap their bottoms to start them breathing.  
** **Norm:** **Here he is, all the way from Gimmelshtump Memorial Hospital, Dr. Mortimer Shlussel.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Dr. Shlussel, so good to—Hey!  
** _ **(Dr. Shluelsle grabs Heinz, and slaps him on the rear-end)**_ **  
** **Dr. Shluelsle** **:** **He is breathing.**

"Ah Dr. Shuluelsle, he was one of the better things in Gimmelshtump."

 **** **Norm:** **And I'm sure you can guess who this next voice belongs to...  
** **Mrs. Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Heinz, my little hobbengusher.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Aw, when she says "hobbengusher" like that, it's easy to forget that it means—**

"What does Hobbengusher mean?" Vanessa asked her father, starting to like her grandparents less and less

"It's an old slang for many things, disappointment comes to mind."

 **** **Norm:** **It's your mother!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Mama!  
** **Mrs. Doofenshmirtz:** **Hobbengusher.** _ **(She whacks him on the bottom as well)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Yeah, that's the way you normally say it.  
** _ **(His mother whacks him a few more times)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **AH! Ow! Why!? Ow! Why!? Why!?  
** **Norm:** **Yes, your relationship with your mother left something to be desired.**

"A lot more to be desired." Vanessa muttered as she glared at the screen, she unlike most of everyone in the room, knew more about her father's past

 **But, what about Dad?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Well, yeah, you know, tho- those were hard times.**

 _ **(Narrating with the**_ __ _ **clip**_ _ **)**_ **The stress of running a family weighed heavily on him. We were so poor that one day our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our zatzenfruit garden from those witches' spells and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it would be me...** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Bewegen Sie nicht!** _ **(Don't Move!)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **While the other children played Kick-the-Schtumpel and eat Doonkelberries, I would stand for hours.** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Bewegen Sie nicht!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **All through the cold night as the Spitzenhound howled... My only companion was the moon. And my neighbor Kenny.** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Bewegen Sie nicht!**

"That's child abuse!" Jeremy said in horror, "Were they ever arrested for doing that to you?"

"Gimmelshtump is a very old-fashion place, it was considered normal for something like this to happen, not to mention I wasn't a very popular person back there." Doof explained

" _When I found out about your past Heinz, I was honestly very surprised that you turned out the way you did. It is a testament to your character as a whole."_

"Thanks."

 **Norm:** **What a fascinating life. We'll keep track of the level of emotional pain each backstory causes, on this colorful Gnome-o-Meter! As shown by Vanna, our gnome-o-meter spokesmodel. Looks like our gnome has begun his climb!** _ **(The gnome begins to travel up the Gnome-o-Meter)**_ __ **Scale those heights, you bearded, Scandinavian cutie! Perform a segue back to rights of passage!** _ **  
**_ **Doofenshmirtz:** **Smooth, Norm.** **  
** **Norm:** **Thank you, don't break the rhythm, sir.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **And let me tell you, transitioning to adulthood was painful, but, actually, I guess a good indicator of things to come.** _ **(in a**_ __ _ **flashback**_ __ _ **on screen)**_ **In Gimmelshtump, jumping from the high dive was an important rite of passage.** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Are you a man or a schnitzel?!** **  
** **Young Heinz:** **I'm a man, I'm a man.** **  
** _ **(Young Heinz climbs up the ladder, lays on the top and looks down in fear)**_ **  
** **Queuing man:** **Das kind ist ein schnitzel!** _ **(That kid is a schnitzel!)**_ **  
** _ **(He and other men laugh)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **After that, my father and I became increasingly distant.** **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Zu nah!** _ **(Too close!)**_

"Quite literally too." Doof sighed

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(flashback ends)**_ **Whatever, I'm so over it.** _ **(His father walks up to him)**_ **  
** **Mr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Bewegen Sie nicht!** **  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz stands bolt upright; his father walks away)**_

"This is not right! Your were still affected by your father back then," Phineas frowned

"But I'm find now the team really helped me." Doof smiled as Karen curled up in his lap, Maggie sat on his shoulder and Perry and Harry sat by his side

 **Norm:** **And there's another voice you might recognize...** **  
** **Roger** **:** **What exactly am I here for again?** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(With distain)**_ **Roger.** **  
** **Norm:** **It's you brother, Roger Doofenshmirtz, beloved mayor of** **Danville** **. Everybody loves him.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Alright, alright, enough with the cheering; this is my show, not his!** **  
** **Roger:** **Can I help it if Mommy liked me best?** **  
** **Norm:** **Look at all those burbling memory bubbles. Tell us all about it, Dr. D!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(narrating over the**_ __ _ **clip**_ _ **)**_ **For a time, I was happy. It was a short time, it was... right... there. It was like five seconds when I was pushing the thing back and forth on the rug.**

"It really was a lot of fun!" Doof said as he brightened up

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **And soon I learned my parents were expecting a brand new baby girl. My mother spent months knitting pretty dresses. Unfortunately, the baby turned out to be a boy, and because we were out of material**

"I don't mean to sound uneducated here, but couldn't she just make new clothing by recycling those clothes?" Kai said as he raised his hand

"She could or was too lazy," Doof shrugged, "Besides, I'm been told that I rock a dress. You're looking at the queen of a summer cotillion"

" _That was by accident and you know it."_

"Quiet you"

 **Doofenshmirtz** **:I was forced to wear those same dresses for an entire year! Drawing mockery and scorn from all of my manly classmates.** **  
** _ **(**_ _ **clip**_ __ _ **changes)**_ **I wanted to gain my mother's affection somehow, so I went to the claw machine district in hopes of winning her a gift. Fortunately, I had with me my allowance, which I'd been saving for a whole year: one three-cent coin.**

"Actually was loose change that my father left around by what can I say, I was young then." Doof told everyone. They all grimaced at the low amount and that fact, no one saying anything.

 **Doofenshmirtz** **:I dropped it into a slot, then carefully maneuvered the claw toward the beckoning fuzzy grail! Odds were against me, but then it happened!**

"Are those rocks?" Buford asked

"Yes they are, back in Gimmelshtump it was a rock or the only prize in those machines."

 **Doofenshmirtz** **:The miracle! The claw grabbed the stuffed animal; itwas mine! Then, like a knight of yore, I gallantly gave the prize to my beloved mother... who immediately turned around and gave it to my brother, Roger. I was crushed as I watched Roger produce a big red marker and write his name on the toy. And then afterwards proceed to do the same to my mother, claiming both as his own, effectively shutting me out of the family dynamic.**

"Maybe that was not Roger's fault. I mean I was kicked out of the family dynamic a long time ago." Again everyone grimaced when Doof said that **  
Roger:** **You know, Heinz, there's more than one way to a mother's heart.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Kickball. My mother's love was always** **inexplicably linked to kick...** **well, I'll just let the song tell you.**

 _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **Couldn't Kick My Way Into Her Heart**_ _ **)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball,** **  
** **And my brother was an expert from the start** **  
** **But I lacked finesse, so when put to the test,** **  
** **I couldn't kick my way right into her heart...**

 _ **Ladies and gentlemen,**_ __ _ **Love Händel**_ _ **!**_

 **Danny** **:** **Oh yeah!**

"You made a parody of "You Snuck Your Way Right Into My Heart". Very nice." Linda praised

"It's a good song." Doof said

 _ **(flashback ends)**_ **  
** **Roger:** **Wait a second, you had Love Händel play your flashback?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I know people.  
** **Roger:** **Really.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **...No, not really; I told them it was for you.**

"Well look at it this way, you still know people." Baljeet said

 **** **Roger:** **Mmhmm. Well, I've got a city to govern.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Don't let your ego hit you on the way out!**

 **Norm:** **Although your family life was tough, your social life was. how should we say, a soul-shattering void.**

"He really doesn't hold back on those words now does he?"

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(narrating over**_ __ _ **clip**_ _ **)**_ **A painful, but accurate choice of words, Norm. At the age of five, I was forced to throw my own surprise party.** **  
** **Gunther Goat Cheese's goat** **:** _ **(within the flashback, enters with a cake)**_ **Hello, boys and- oh. Mmm... awkward.** _ **(puts the cake down and leaves)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(narrating)**_ **Ten seconds later, they confiscated the cake; apparently there's a two-person minimum.**

"We are planning Dad's next birthday party." Vanessa whispered to Ferb, who gave her a thumbs up

"Let's plan grandpa Doofy's next birthday." Marie whispered to Thomas

 **Norm:** **Ooh! That stings! Do you recall a young lad named Boris?** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, sure. Big Black Boots Boris the Bully.** _ **(**_ _ **clip**_ __ _ **starts)**_ **He was always kicking sand in my face. When I was in the sandbox: sand. My first date: sand! Balancing my checkbook: sand! The beach- Oddly enough nothing. But I couldn't relax, because I kept waiting for it.** **  
** **Norm:** **Well, Boris owns a car dealership now, and declined to appear on this show. But he did send some sand!** _ **(a giant pile of sand drops on Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(muffled)**_ **Well, at least he cared enough to do that.**

"He followed you all the way from to Danvile?" Buford asked with a raised eyebrow, "I can respect that."

Gretchen elbowed Buford, :Now is not the time." She whispered harshly

 **Norm:** **You did have one friend...** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Balloony!** _ **(**_ _ **clip**_ __ _ **starts)**_ **When I was a boy, the smell of pork emanating from me was so bad because of, well, the reason's unimportant, it was part of a different emotionally-scarring backstory; I'm not getting into... regardless, the smell of pork was so bad that no one would come near me. So one day the carnival came to town and I needed money because of, well another back story that... basically, my parents disowned me, I was being raised by ocelots.**

"You had a very tough past Dr Doofenshmirtz." Katie's voice was thick with emotion and was crying into Kai shoulder. In fact everybody had tears in their eyes. Doof just looked around the room nervously, not knowing what to do with everyone crying for him

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **The point is, I had to get a job at the carnival, but the only work was at the dunking booth, and not as the guy who got dunked though, I was what they threw to dunk him, which is again a whole other backstory. Okay, look- long backstory short, I got a balloon at the carnival, I drew a face on him, I sprayed him with special "Lifelong-Lasting" spray I created, and I named him "Balloony." He became my best friend in the whole world, yadda yadda yadda. Then one tragic day, when I was protecting our garden as a lawn gnome, Balloony started floating away.** _ **(clip ends)**_ **And then I didn't see him for a long time; it wasn't 'til... well, there was this whole thing with an alien ship, it was really improbable.** **  
** **Norm:** **Well, here he is!** _ **(Balloony is seen in front of a backdrop)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, Balloony, I-I've missed you so mu-** _ **(Balloony pops; Doofenshmirtz gasps)**_ **Baaaallllooooonnnyyyy!** **  
** **Norm:** **Ha-ha-ha! We're just having fun with you! That wasn't the real Balloony!**

"Haha, did you programmed him to be so mean with his words Dr. D?" Kai joked, trying to lift the mood.

"Well I think that it was already in this programming. I didn't read the manual. You won't believe how he is sometimes." Doof said, catching on. It worked and everyone at east cracked a smile

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **It wasn't?** **  
** **Norm:** **No, of course not!** **The real Balloony popped three weeks ago!** _ **(holds up the popped Balloony)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(bawling)**_ **BAAAALLLLLOOOOONNNNNNYYYYYYYYYY!** _ **(continues bawling over Norm's line)**_

 **Norm:** **Aaand uncomfortable transition back to the Gnome-o-Meter!** _ **(gnome rises from 10,000 past the 15,000 line)**_ **Wow, that backstory really had some juice. Now, if you've finished weeping, let's continue! In another misguided attempt to engage in life, you entered one of your inventions in a science fair!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(**_ _ **clip**_ __ _ **starts)**_ **That's right. It- it was my very first -inator!**

"Puberty hasn't even struck yet and already breaking records, does that just remind you of anyone?" Jeremy asked, looking at the Flynn-Fletcher family 

**Doofenshmirtz:** **Just as I was about to demonstrate my invention to the judges, a kid with a baking soda volcano stole the show! The next year, I tried again with my even bigger -inator. And again, my thunder was stolen by a baking soda volcano! I'd had enough of science. I decided to devote my life to poetry instead.** **  
** **Young Adult Doofenshmirtz:** **The movies are gray, the TV is black, the horses are running, please bring me some food.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(narrating)**_ **Yet, curiously, I** _ **still**_ **lost to a baking soda volcano!** _ **(clip ends)**_ **And what's worse, his poetry lacked subtext entirely.**

"It was starting to get annoying. Did you know who I was facing against in the O.W.C.A recruitment? A baking soda volcano!" Doof complained

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Hey, where's Perry?**

 _ **(Perry's seat is seen empty with the mechanical arms tied up)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Perry the Platypus, what are you do-** _ **(Perry looks behind a curtain)**_ **Okay, playtime's over! Norm?** _ **(Norm flips a lever, lifting the curtain to reveal a glass dome with a bubbling liquid inside and electrodes on top; a metal claw comes down and lifts Perry off the ground)**_ **Behold, the Backstory-inator! You see, evil is born from pain and loss, but reliving** _ **one**_ **story at a time was not getting me anywhere! Now with this, I can collect the liquid essence of all my pain and suffering! And when it's all full, I can re-inject it into myself, making me the most powerfully evil person that has ever lived.**

" _I thought that it was going to make you the most depressed person in the world. You know, with all the emotionally scarring back story and all."_

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Then nothing can stop me from taking over the entire Tri-State Are-aaugh!** _ **(screams as an ocelot attacks him)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **Oh, there's Mama Ocelot.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ironically, she's still more nurturing than my own mother! Ow, off, quit it!**

"Again, that is so wrong on so many levels." Thomas said, frowning

 _ **(In the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, Candace is still watching Phineas and Ferb playing ping pong)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Any time now, they're going to do something big and bustable. I just know it.**

 **** _ **(Back at D. E. I.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **And so, Perry the Platypus, to recap what I said mere moments ago before I was so rudely and painfully interrupted, once I have charged my Backstory-inator, the tragedy of it all will be re-injected back into me, and I will be transformed into the ultimate creature of evil! And look, we're almost there!** _ **(the gnome is shown teetering at the summit of the Gnome-o-Meter)**_ **One more backstory should do it! Let's see... remember the time...  
** **Vanessa** **:** _ **(entering)**_ **Hey Dad, can I have the keys to the car?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, sure, Vanessa! Oh no, no, good memories flowing! Aaahhh! Can't stop... pleasant reminiscences!** _ **(flashback montage starts)**_ **Aaaaahhhhhhhh!**

 _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **Not So Bad A Dad**_ _ **)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **You were** **a substandard dad** **  
** **But the only one I had** **  
** **I grew up** **hearing your evil scheming down the hall**

 _ **Biker:**_ __ _ **Hey, sweetheart. How'd you like to take a ride on a real bike?**_ **  
** _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **She's sixteen!**_

 **But this piece of plastic in my hand** **  
** **Makes me finally understand** **  
** **Maybe you're** **not so bad a dad** **  
** **Not so bad** **a dad** **after all...**

 _ **Vanessa:**_ __ _ **It only matters that I think he's cool.**_ **  
** _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **She thinks I'm cool!**_

 _ **(montage ends; gnome drops from the summit (about 30,000) drastically)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **Okay Dad, if you want to hold your head and quiver some more, that's totally okay with me, but can I have the keys?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, yeah, right. Here you go.  
** **Vanessa:** **Have fun with your little toys.** _ **(leaves)**_

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Aw, look at the Gnome-o-meter!** _ **(gnome settles at 5,000)**_ **We're practically starting over.**

"How nice," Buford smiled, "It means that Vanessa was a shining moment in your life, bright enough to pierce through the darkness in your past."

"…Wow, film school really did change you a lot."

"Quiet nerd."

"Ok, maybe not so much." Baljeet said as he hid behind Ginger

 **** **Norm:** **That's okay, sir. You have lots of painful history to explore. Tell us, how did you come to America?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Well, it was when I was sixteen, or thereabouts; I had stopped celebrating birthdays at that point for... you know, obvious reasons.** _ **(clip begins)**_ **And then one day, my parents sent me out to the Schtor to get some doozenbratt.** _ **(in the clip, the "Schtor" is revealed to be a painting of the front of a Schtor hiding the entrance to a ship; the ship takes off and Heinz's parents celebrate and hug)**_

"…They are celebrating." Marie said as she glared at the screen

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **You know, I've always had trouble between a Schtor and a- a painting of a Schtor**

"It's the same problem as the platypus one." Doof joke, trying to lift the mood

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **But- but it started me off on the greatest adventure of my life! I decided to seize the day with both hands!** _ **(Heinz is shown swabbing the poop deck)**_ **Aaand a mop. I was heading to a golden land of opportunity; a land with a pioneering spirit which welcomed misfits like me!**

"The American Dream?"

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **But I ended up in America instead.** _ **(Heinz is literally kicked off the ship)**_

"Not the American Dream then, just where did you think you were going?"

"I don't know, anywhere from my parents would have been good."

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **I just knew that I was home!** _ **(a large crate lands on Heinz; flashback ends)**_ **In the sense that it was... familiar.** _ **(gnome rises to 20,000)**_

 **Norm:** **Once in America, you began the human rite of passage known as... high school! Leading to one of the most embarrassing viral videos of all time!** _ **("**_ _ **I am a Superstar**_ _ **" appears on screen)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ugh, I thought I deleted that from everyone's memory.** **  
** **Teenage Heinz:** **I am a superstar!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Yeah, yeah, we- we've all seen this, Norm. That's enough.** **  
** **Teenage Heinz:** _ **(falls into toilet)**_ **It won't-** _ **(video stops)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **But you haven't seen the digital remix!** _ **(plays digital remix)**_ **  
** **Teenage Heinz:** **I am a superstar! It won't stop flushing!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, this is really surreal. Eugh.** **  
** **Teenage Heinz:** **I am a superstar! It wo-, it wo-, it won't stop flushing!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Creeping me out a little, I'll be honest.** **  
** **Teenage Heinz:** **Wo-, wo-, it won't stop flushing!** **  
** **Wo-, wo-, it won't stop flushing!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Seriously, Norm, that's enough.** **  
** **Teenage Heinz:** **Wo-, wo-, it won't stop flushing!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Enough now.** _ **(remix stops)**_ **  
** **Norm:** **It's got ten billion hits! And there's only seven billion people on the planet!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I'm never going to live that down.**

"That's you?!" Stacy laughed, "It's still viral you know. You should feel proud, you broke so many records with that video"

"I guess I should huh?" Doof smiled before frowning, "Nah. Carl can you?"

"Already on it."

"Thanks."

 **Norm:** **And yet, despite a serious lack of coolness, you still managed to date a future pop star!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **What? Lindana is here?** **  
** **Norm:** **Actually, she didn't remember you!**

"Sorry about that." Linda said as she rubbed the back of her neck

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Well, that figures. We only had the one date, but it was eventful.** _ **(**_ _ **clip**_ __ _ **begins)**_ **It was at the Danville Drive-In.** **  
** **80's Heinz:** **Okay, the coast is clear! You can come out now!** _ **(Linda emerges from the trunk)**_ **  
** **80's** **Linda** **:** **Eww. It's grody back here!** **  
** **80's Heinz:** **Well, on the bright side, you got in for free, so... we'll just split the cost of my ticket, right? Right?** **  
** **80's Linda:** **You know, I could've gotten in the trunk, like, a block away instead of when you first picked me up at my house.** **  
** **80's Heinz:** **Wow, you just love to live in the past, huh? Is that like a thing with you?** **  
** **80's Linda:** _ **(sighs)**_ **Whatever. Let's just try to enjoy the rest of the evening.** **  
** **80's Heinz:** _ **(does a robot dance)**_ **I am a happy robot, likely what I hear. I'm just kidding; that's a thing I do. C'mon, hop in!** _ **(Heinz and Linda get in his car)**_ **  
** **Radio Announcer:** **You were listening to "That's Wings, You Turkey" by King of Loud. And here's a new one from** **Zanzibar** **, "** **What Do It Do?** **"** **  
** **80's Linda:** **Oh, turn it up! I love this song!** **  
** **80's Heinz:** **It's okay, I'd say it's in my top seven, eight favorite songs about reverse engineering.** **  
** **80's Linda:** **Makes me want to be a pop star!** **  
** **80's Heinz:** **Ha! Yeah right, and I'm going to rule the world!** **  
** **80's Linda:** **Well, why not?** **  
** **80's Heinz:** **Yeah, like I could do that.** **  
** **80's Linda:** **Maybe instead of, you know, the whole world, uh, start... small, with the Tri-State Area.** _ **(dramatic chord plays)**_ **Hey, the movie's starting**

"Hmm, I inspired a evil scientist huh?" Linda said as she tapped her lip with her finger, then shrugged, "I'm cool with that."

"I don't think you should be cool with that…"

 **Norm:** **It was at that point that you realized the only business for you was... I'm waiting for you to finish my sentence for me, sir...** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, of course. Bratwurst!** **  
** **Norm:** **Actually, I was going to say "evil," sir.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Yes, but before I was evil, I was a bratwurst street vendor.** _ **(**_ _ **clip**_ __ _ **starts)**_ **  
** _ **Doofenshmirtz quality bratwurst!**_ **  
** **Kid 1:** **How do you know when you're really lame?** **  
** **Kid 2:** **When you sell bratwurst!** _ **(kids laugh)**_

"At least that was a relatively tamed memory." Molly said

 _ **(The gnome moves up an inch)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Wow, that seemed more painful at the time. Oh man, it's gonna take forever to get the gnome back up to the top at this rate.  
** **Norm:** **Hold your horses, sir. We're just getting to... your love life!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, boy.**

 _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **Happy Evil Love Song**_ __ _ **(instrumental))**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz's date** **:** _ **(to Perry)**_ **You are** **the cutest thing I've ever seen. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **You know, some people say we look alike.  
** **Doofenshmirtz's date:** **Uh, I don't think so. Not at all. No, not at all.**

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **But when** **I turned the Translator-inator on...**

"Hey! We made something that can translate for animals!"

"Please don't remind me of that day Phineas." Candace groaned.

 **** _ **(whales squealing)**_ **  
** **Whale:** _ **(via the Translator-inator)**_ **..What a loser that guy up there is! She should dump that pink chimp and go out with a real mammal like me!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **She** **left me for that trash-talking 35-ton pile of blubber.**

"I have so many problems with day that it will take me a day to list it down." Kai said

"Then don't." Katie giggled as she palce a finger on his lip

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Evil love...** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I have never been so happy in my entire life!  
** **Doofenshmirtz's unnamed ex-girlfriend** **:** **Oh, Heinz-** _ **(De-Love-inator fires)**_ **I feel nothing.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **But- But- But-  
** **Doofenshmirtz's unnamed ex-girlfriend:** **Nothing!**

"That was karma right there." Doof sighed

 **Norm:** **And do you recall this voice?  
** **Charlene** **:** **Hello, Heinz. I have your alimony check.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Heh-heh... Charlene!  
** **Norm:** **That's right. It's your former wife, Charlene Doofenshmirtz.  
** **Charlene:** **Delivered in person, like you asked. Ah, what is this, a game show set? Is this what you spend the money on?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Well, you know, also groceries.  
** **Charlene:** **Well, at least it's not in my garage. Nice tux, Norm.  
** **Norm:** **She's fantastic!**

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Norm, let's bring out the big guns: Failed -inators!** _ **(montage set to 1812 Overture begins)**_

 _ **(the**_ __ _ **Age Accelerator-inator**_ __ _ **blasts randomly)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Mountain-out-of-a-Molehill-inator**_ __ _ **electrocutes Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **water fortress**_ __ _ **explodes)**_ **  
** _ **(Candace's rocket crashes into Doofenshmirtz's**_ __ _ **space station**_ _ **)**_ **  
** _ **(the giant**_ __ _ **baking soda volcano**_ __ _ **blows up)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Dynamic-inator**_ __ _ **explodes)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Monster Truck Away-inator**_ __ _ **disappears)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Invisinator-turned-Disintegrator**_ __ _ **zaps its own control panel)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Look Away-inator**_ __ _ **fries)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Deface-inator**_ __ _ **goes boom)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Turn Everything Evil-inator**_ __ _ **explodes)**_ **  
** _ **(Phineas and Ferb's giant bowling ball smashes into the**_ __ _ **Giant Robotic Penguin Icy Freeze Your Socks Off Breath-Inator Thingy**_ _ **)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Dance-inator**_ __ _ **fires one last ray and explodes)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **overheated Steak Containment Unit**_ __ _ **blasts steaks across the Tri-State Area)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Bum-Bum-inator**_ __ _ **rockets into the sky)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **Juice-inator**_ __ _ **liquefies D. E. I. and the amusement park track)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **De-Handsome-inator**_ __ _ **launches into the air, fires a ray, and explodes)**_ **  
** _ **(the**_ __ _ **supercomputer**_ __ _ **explodes on the D. E. I. balcony)**_ **  
** _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **Well, at least I found the key to the- (his roof explodes) Nice. Curse you, Perry the- (the roof crashes down again) Oh... Why does everything explode so easily? (the entire top of his building explodes)**_

"What?" Doof asked as he noticed the stares he got from everyone that was not from O.W.C.A, with the exception of Thomas and Marie

"…How are you still alive?" Adyson asked

"It's a talent."

"Just like me!" Marie giggled

"What!?" Phineas and Isabella asked in shock

"Erm nothing." Marie said quickly

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **You know what I'm noticing a lot of? I blow up more than the average guy.** _ **(Perry notices a ceiling fan near his trap while Vanna is on the phone and starts swinging toward it)**_ **Do they have blowing-up insurance? I should get some of that. And if they don't have it, I think they should make it, 'cause I would buy some. Oh, baby, what an emotional workout!** **  
** **Norm:** **And one more good trauma should send Arthur over the top!** _ **(the gnome is shown teetering at the edge of the summit)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ha-ha, yeah! Hit me with your best shot!** **  
** **Norm:** **That's just it, sir! The rest are more comical than tragic.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **What? How are we supposed to go over the- OOF!** _ **(Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz off his chair)**_ **Aw, curse you, Perry the Platypus- and by "curse you," I mean "thank you!" By humiliating me, you have inadvertently provided me the last tragic backstory I need to put this baby over the top! Remember two seconds ago when you foiled my latest plan?** _ **I do!**_ **  
** _ **(the screen flashes back to Perry kicking Doofenshmirtz out of his chair)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(in flashback)**_ **What? How are we supposed to go over the- OOF!** _ **(it repeats as Doofenshmirtz laughs evilly)**_ **How are we supposed to go over the- OOF!**

"That was so…so…technical."

"Meh, as long as it works." Doof shrugged

 **** _ **(the gnome topples over the summit and embeds itself in Vanna's foot; she screams as Doofenshmirtz pulls a lever)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **And now...!** _ **(the Backstory-inator starts to send the memories back to Doofenshmirtz)**_ **I can feel myself getting** _ **(his skin takes a red tint and his teeth become sharp)**_ **more e-e-evil!** _ **(his laugh becomes deeper and he grows massive and muscular)**_ **Feel the doom! Nothing can stop me now!** _ **(he picks up Perry with a claw-like hand and continues laughing; Perry pulls out his wallet and reveals pictures of the two of them, causing good memories to flow through the extraction helmet)**_ **Huh? Uh?** _ **NOOOOOO!**_

 _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **My Nemesis**_ _ **)**_ **  
** **My neme, neme,** **oooo...** **my neme, neme,** **neme** **  
** **My neme, neme, oooo... my neme, neme, neme**

 _ **Platypus-Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **Do you ever get tired of lugging this big tail around? ...Well, back at it, I guess.**_

 **I used to sit alone doing evil all day,** **  
** **But now I think that someone's gonna get in my way,** **  
** **Yeah, the someone in my life that doesn't want me to exist** **  
** **(** **My neme, neme,** **oooo... my neme, neme, neme)** **  
** **And I feel fine cause I've got a nemesis**

 _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **I-I've got an even better best friend! It's clear to me that my best friend is Perry the Plat-OOF!**_

 **My neme, neme, oooo... my neme, neme, neme** **  
** **My neme, neme, oooo... my neme, neme, neme**

 **Now I** **hate him, and he hates me,** **  
** **What a wonderful animosity,** **  
** **Besides his** **hat he wears no clothes,** **  
** **Now I have someone** **to oppose...**

 _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **Peter the Panda**_ _ **? And Perry the Platypus? You're working together to rescue me?**_

 **Yes I have a nemesis!**

 _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **Doofy-Doofy-Doofy, Doofy-Doofy-Doofy, Doofenshmirtz!**_

 _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **I want you to know that... you are appreciated, Perry the Platypus, you are appreciated.**_

 **My neme, neme, oooo... my neme, neme, neme,** **  
** **My neme, neme...**

 _ **Doofenshmirtz:**_ __ _ **You think I'm evil, right?**_ __ **(Perry gives him a grin)** __ _ **Thank you, Perry the Platypus. Thank you.**_

"Aww, how cute." Isabella said

"Another ray of light in his live to pierce through the darkness"

"I think I prefer the old Buford over this one."

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **No! What have you done, Perry the Platypus? I'm getting less evil!** _ **(crashes into and smashes the Backstory-inator)**_ **Significantly sooooooo!** _ **(returns to normal)**_ **Darn it, I really liked that shirt.** _ **(Perry hang glides away from the building)**_ **Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow, right?  
** **Vanna:** _ **(leaving with the gnome still in her foot)**_ **I'm sending you a bill for the shoes. My boyfriend's a lawyer.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **All right, Norm, let's get this place cleaned up. There's backstory all over the place.**

" _Hmm, now a question Dr. Doofenshmirtz. If you had the chance, would you change your past?"_

"…No."

Everyone was shocked, "Why Dad?" Vanessa asked, "Why wouldn't you want to change that terrible past?"

Doof smiled at his daughter, "Because of you, because of all of you."

"Huh?"

"Roger wasn't always bad," Doof closed his eyes remembering the better times that they shared. "We even made up a few years ago."

"Besides, if I change my past. I would have never met Charlene and had you my baby girl." Doof smiled at his daughter

"Dad~ Stop calling me that." Vanessa blushed but wasn't mad in any way.

"If I changed my past, I wouldn't have met Perry and the team. I wouldn't have enjoyed all these wonderful moments that I have now." Doof took a deep breath and said with finality. "So no I won't change my past even if I had the chance."

"Thanks dad." Vanessa said as she and his team hugged him

" _Now that that depressing moment is over, how about a more cheerful episode? Hmm, I think it's about time for a special"_

 **I didn't add the end credits because I had absolutely no idea what was going on at that time. As always, I hope you enjoy and drop a review with what episode you would like to see.**


	6. Summer Belongs to You!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything I write**

 _ **(The show's logo zooms in, acting as the sun with the Episode's title and the names of the creators)**_ **  
** **Summer belongs to you!**

"I thought summer already belonged to you. Sure I've only seen a bit of what you guys have done, summer definitely belongs to you. " Kai pointed out

"Meh, what you've seen was never our best work." Phineas said, shrugging

"Geniuses, I'm surrounded by geniuses." Kai muttered as he saw everyone agree with Phineas

 **** _ **(Scene opens showing Candace dialling a number on her cell phone before suddenly switching to Jeremy, who is in bed, sleeping. His phone rings and he picks it up.)**_ **  
** **Jeremy** **:** **Uhh, hello?** **  
** **Candace** **:** **Hey, Jeremy! It's me, Candace!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Oh, hi Candace. You realize it's like... 2am in Paris.** **  
** **Candace:** **Oops! Ahahah... Sorry... I... was just wondering how your vacation's going.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Actually, it's funny you called because you were in my dream just now.**

"Aw how cute, you were dreaming about Candace" Linda cooed

"So what were you dreaming about?" Isabella asked

"Or was it one of those types of dreams?" Buford smirked as he saw Jeremy and Candace blushed redder than a tomato

"It's not!" Jeremy defended himself, "It was… **  
** **Candace:** _ **(Excited)**_ **Really?** **  
** _ **(Candace hears a rumble from outside)**_ **  
** **Jeremy:** **Yeah, it was weird... You and I were in this Dixieland band and there was an iguana playing an oboe...**

"Well that." Jeremy said as he scratched his cheek. Everyone blinked as they stared at the screen, trying to make heads or tails of what Jeremy just said.

"…What in the world were you dreaming about?" Baljeet asked

"Well I can't say. Mostly from how I don't understand what I was dreaming about in the first place and that I'm too embarrassed to say…"

 **** _ **(Another rumble is heard)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **I gotta go, Jeremy. I'll call you later.** _ **(Runs outside, calling someone else)**_ **Mom! Do you hear that?**

"I was a bit miffed when you hung up on me like that."

"I'm so sorry." Candace said as she kissed Jeremy's cheek

Jeremy smiled, "Don't worry I got used to it. I have to don't I?"

Everyone laughed while Candace blushed when Jeremy pointed out her obsession

 **** **Linda** **:** **I can't hear anything over all this road construction.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(As she talks the robot is jumping behind her causing her to pause a few times)**_ __ **But Mom, they've built a giant...rope jumping robot and it's... Phineas will you turn that thing off? I'm trying to bust you!** **  
** **Phineas** **:** **We can't, it's become self-aware! The jump roping was his idea!**

"It was quite lucky of us to have that leftover rope for him to use huh Ferb?" Ferb nodded his head

" _I had flashbacks to the Terminator movies when I heard that he gain self awareness_

"The what movies?"

" _Oh nothing"_ **  
** _ **(car horn)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Mom!**

 _ **(Linda pulls up)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Mom! Mom!  
** **Linda:** **Okay, I'm here. What did you wanna tell me?  
** **Candace:** **Backyard now!  
** **Linda:** _ **(Slightly irritated)**_ **Excuse me?  
** **Candace:** **Backyard now, please?**

"It was then, and only then, did she ever cared about my manners when I was trying to bust the boys."

"Well I have to set up some kind of standard don't I?"

 **Robot:** **I jump, therefore I am.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, there you are, Perry.**

 **Candace:** **Right back here, Mom!** _ **(eyes closed)**_ __ **Look, there they are.** **  
** _ **(The robot has suddenly disappeared)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Hi, kids. Did you have fun today?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yes, yes we did.**

"I mean who wouldn't have fun building a self-aware, rope jumping robot." Phineas chuckled

The room started shaking a bit

"What the? An earthquake?" Thomas shouted

The shaking stopped

" _That was me, sorry about that."_

"Um Force, where you perhaps…scared?" Phineas asked

The sounds of muffled laughter filled the room

" _It's perfectly fine to be scared of robots who become self aware ok!"_

"Aren't you like some kind of god?" Ginger asked, amused

" _Like I said, it's perfectly fine to be scared of robots that become self aware ok!"_

No one bothered to hide their laughter after that

" _It's not funny!"_

 **** **Linda:** **Good for you. I would've been home sooner, but it took me an hour to drive around the road construction in the neighbourhood. It sure would be helpful if they could just make the days a little longer.** _ **(chuckles)**_ **Who do I call about that?**

 _ **(A text appears that says "You're watching TV!" and a "DING" can be heard)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, do you mind? We have a visual gag going on here.** _ **(It disappears to reveal Ferb used a triangle to make the noise)**_ **Thank you!**

" _You're watching TV!"_ The Mysterious Force snorted, _"You don't say."_

"…I don't remember doing that, do you Ferb?" Phineas asked while his brother shook his head

" _Erm, forget about that."_

"What! why?"

" _I SAID FORGET ABOUT THAT!"_

 **Phineas:** _ **(To Ferb)**_ __ **Our vacation is more than halfway over, and what have we accomplished? Okay, so we** **built a rollercoaster** **, we** **travelled through time** **twice** **,** **found Atlantis** **, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, see? We've hardly done anything! We need a real challenge.**

"Geniuses I say, geniuses!" Kai sighed, "I have never felt so inadequate in my live."

"Sorry?" Phineas tried

 **Phineas:** **We need to create the biggest, longest, funnest summer day of all time!** **  
** _ **(A fanfare is heard and the camera pans out to reveal it was Ferb playing brass instruments)**_ **  
** **Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today**

 **Doofenshmirtz in a Jet Airplane!**

Chatter

"What?! I have a jingle for everything! Its tradition." Vanessa nodded when her father said that, "Don't lie, I know you love the O.W.C.A jingle I made!"

 **** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Well, Vanessa, are you looking forward to seeing Tokyo on our daddy-daughter trip?  
** **Vanessa** **:** **Yeah... I was really hoping for Paris. I mean, I did drop all those hints, but I guess Tokyo is more exotic.  
** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Yes, that's why I chose Japan over Paris at the last moment! That makes perfect sense. There is no other ulterior motive behind it all, so, you know...**

"I really should have known what you where about to do when you were talking like that." Vanessa sighed **  
** **Airplane Captain:** **Uh, this is your captain speaking, we're expecting a slight delay for our arrival to Tokyo.  
** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **That's always something. Turbulence, headwinds, giant jump-roping robots...  
** **Robot:** _ **(Hanging on the jet airplane)**_ **I dangle, therefore, I am...**

"So that's where he went. I wonder what's he doing now?"

In a scrapyard

The robot was using the scrap to built robots with it's likeness

"I built therefore I am."

His eyes glow a menacing red

"I want to conquer therefore I am."

" _Ok that's enough out of you."_

There was a white light and everything was gone

" _Why couldn't he be like the Iron Giant? Taunt me for my fear of sentient robots hmph!"_

" _That's because you're a type of god."_

" _Great, it's you. Don't you have a movie to be in or something, Force?"_

" _You're right, got to go!"_

" _Well there goes the most bipolar being I have ever seen. Must be awkward to think to himself if there's a dark side and a light side huh?"_

Back to the room

"… _He's living a happy life. Don't worry about him."_

"Really!? Cool!"

 _It's better you don't know, Phineas_

 _ **(Scene shifts to the master bedroom)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **So Mom, while you're away, I'm in charge, right? For two whole days?** **  
** **Linda:** **That's right. Remember, no boys over.** **  
** **Candace:** **Of course, Mom. Jeremy's in Paris anyway. So... When you say I'm in charge, what exactly do you mean by that?** **  
** **Linda:** **Well, to put it simply, I mean, "You're in charge."** **  
** **Candace:** **So if Phineas and Ferb are up to something bust-worthy, and I am, as you say... "In charge", I have free reign to call you as many times as necessary?**

"Isn't that what you always do?" Isabella pointed out, "What's so different about this time?"

"I just wanted to make sure ok."

" _Like that ever matters."_

 **** **Lawrence** **:** **Quite the contrary, Candace. Being in charge means you handle things yourself.** **  
** **Linda:** **Yup. Basically, if you're really in charge, you won't need to call at all. You see, if the boys are doing something bust-worthy, that means you're not doing your job and you would be in trouble too.** **  
** **Candace:** **Woah, woah, heavy! By busting the boys, I bust myself?**

"Which I always do." Candace sighed, she looked at the walls, "Do you have something against me or something?"

" _Of course I don't. But someone needs to provide comedic relief and you were just unlucky enough to be chosen by them."_

"Who's them?"

" _Has anyone told you that curiosity kills the cat, Kai? Forget what I just said."_

 **** **Lawrence:** **Ah, there's the rub. Right next to the pair o' ducks. I'm also packing this book of puns!**

"I bet that book gets a lot of uses." Doof said

"It does."

"AHHH!" Kai jumped out of his seat when a man appeared out of nowhere beside him

"Lawrence?"

Lawrence sat beside his wife, "I closed the shop and this fine disembodied voice told me what was happening. I must say that this will be fun."

"Hey Law, can I borrow that book sometime?"

"Of course Heniz"

 _ **(Outside of the house...)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Bye kids!** **  
** **Candace:** **Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! Have a nice time!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Have a successful endeavor!**

 _ **Later; in Candace's room...)**_ **  
** **Candace:** _ **(Dreaming)**_ **Paris... French girls and... Jeremy... Iguana playing an oboe...** _ **(She sits up and calls someone)**_ **Stacy? I am freaking out here!**

"What were you dreaming about?" Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow

Candace blushed, "I can't say. The same reason as yours."

 **** _ **(On the other line)**_ **  
** **Stacy** **:** **Ugh... I'll be right over.** **  
** **Candace:** **Cool! Thanks! And could you bring some breakfast?** _ **(Stacy hangs up)**_ **Hello?**

"Helping you with your love life, ok. Anything else? No, just no."

 _ **(Scene shifts to the backyard)**_ **  
** **Isabella** **:** **So Phineas, whatcha doin'... Up so early?**

"I may have loved you so much that I was willing to do anything back then but I still need my sleep."

 **** **Phineas:** **Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year! And Ferb and I are gonna make it even longer.** **  
** **Isabella:** **So you built the Statue of Liberty?** **  
** **Phineas:** **No...** _ **(Sees his invention in shape of the Statue of Liberty)**_ **Oh, wow. That** _ **is**_ **weird.**

"I still don't know how that happened." Phineas said as he scratched his head.

" _That was me. I have to have fun somehow"_

 **Phineas:** _ **(He removes the sheet cover)**_ **Behold! The Amazing Sun-Beater 3000!**

"You're taking this usually well Lawrence." Linda noticed

"Well, I was aware of what the boys were up to most of the time back then."

"You didn't tell me?"

Lawrence blinked, "I thought you knew, I mean the boys weren't exactly trying to hide what they were trying to do."

 **** **Isabella/** **Fireside Girls** **:** **Wow! Amazing!** **  
** **Buford** **:** **It's a name followed by a big number!** **  
** **Phineas:** **It's fast and it runs on vegetable oil, so it's environmentally friendly. In this ship, we will travel around the world as the sun does, making this, the longest day of summer, even longer! That'll give us twenty-four hours of continuous daylight; and add the extra fifteen hours we would've had anyway, that's almost a forty-hour day!** **  
** **Buford:** **It can't be done! There's only twenty-four hours in a day and that's that!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, yes** _ **and**_ **no.**

" _Now that…that wasn't me."_

 **Phineas:** **You see, Buford, if you define the day by the passage of the sun, and we follow the sun by travelling around the...** **  
** **Buford:** **Nah, nah! Don't try to confuse me with your sorcerous ways. There's nothin' I've ever seen that would make me believe you could pull this off. Except for that time-machine thing, and oh, and the rollercoaster! But other than that, nothin'! Oh, and the time you** **played that song when the platypus came back** **, oh... Man, nature just bends to your will, doesn't it?**

" _Actually I and nature bend to his will. Gaia is always amused by their antics."_

"So the game was rigged from the start." Buford narrowed his eyes, "I'm starting to want those bikes back

 **** **Phineas:** **Yeah, nothing's impossible if you believe you could do it.**

"And we do it all the time."

 **** **Buford:** **Well, I** _ **don't**_ **believe and therefore it's** _ **im**_ **possible. And what's more, I** _ **bet**_ __ **you can't do it!** **  
** **Phineas:** **You** _ **bet**_ **us?** **  
** **Buford:** **Yeah, I** _ **bet**_ **you! And if you lose, you're gonna have to stand up in front of everyone and say that you** _ **are**_ **governed by the laws of physics and summer's** _ **not**_ **whatever you want to make of it. And what's more, you've gonna spend the rest of your summer doin' nothin'!**

"Buford's agreement seems so forced now that I look at it." Baljeet noticed, "I mean he hangs out with us all the time why would he care about physics now?"

 **** **Phineas:** **And what happens when we win?** **  
** **Buford:** **Hmmm... I'll eat a bug.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Buford, you'd eat a bug right now if we asked.** **  
** **Buford:** **Are you asking?** **  
** **Phineas:** **No.** **  
** **Buford:** **All right. How about I give you back your bike I took when we were little?** **  
** **Phineas:** **My bike!** **  
** _ **(Flashback)**_ **  
** **Baby Phineas:** **Bu gaga gu...** **  
** **Baby Buford:** **Mine!** **  
** **Baby Phineas:** **No... Bu gaga gu.** **  
** _ **(Flashback ends)**_

"Hey, didn't you say you were a wimp before you lost your Biff? Why were you a bully then?" Phineas asked

"A leopard never changes its spots"

 **** **Phineas:** **How about this? When we make it back here before the sun sets, you gotta give** _ **everyone**_ **their bikes back.** **  
** **Random man:** **Mine was the one with the unusually large front wheel.** **  
** **Buford:** **I still get to eat the bug though, right?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Sure thing, Buford.** **  
** **Buford:** **I want the bug.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Phineas, what are you doing? You're putting your entire world view on the line. And for what? A bunch of bikes?** **  
** **Buford:** **And a bug!**

"NOBODY CARES!" everyone stared at Isabella. She blushed and hid her face in Phineas's shoulder, "I've been holding it in for years ok." She murmured

 **** **Phineas:** **Isabella, it isn't about the bikes. It's about my world view. You see, we all gotta ask ourselves just one question.**

 **(Song:** **I Believe We Can** **)** **  
** _ **(Lyrics in parentheses are background vocals sung by Chaka Khan)**_ **  
** **Clay Aiken** **:** **What is a summer really** **  
** **But a tepid month or 3?** **  
** **Ferb** **:** _ **Clay Aiken?**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Yeah. I hired a stunt singer, what do you think?**

"I forgotten to ask because of what happens after, but why did you need a stunt singer?" Baljeet asked

"He was offering and I thought why not?"

 **** **Clay Aiken:** **If you agree with Buford** **  
** **That's all it will ever be**

 **And we don't need to break the laws of physics** **  
** **To make a day that's longer than a day** **  
** **We can follow that old sun 'round the circumference of the globe** **  
** **And stop all the naysayers from nay-say... ing**

 **'Cause I believe we can** **  
** **And that's the measure, the measure of a man** **  
** **It may sound far-fetched, this thing we've got planned** **  
** **But I believe we can**

 **I believe we can (Ooh, I believe we can)** **  
** **And that's the measure, the measure of a man (Oh, that's the measure of a man)** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(To Ferb)**_ _ **Chaka Khan. Nice.**_ **  
** **We'll make it back here (We'll make it back here) to where we began... (Oh...)** **  
** _ **(One of the plane's wings falls off)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Or at least that's the plan!** **  
** _ **(Everyone laughs)**_ **  
** **Chaka Khan** **:** **Of course, first you're gonna have to fix this wing, yeah!** **  
** _ **Hey, where's Perry?**_

"Look at how famous Perry is." Katie giggled

 _ **Perry, while sleeping, hurriedly lands in his headquarters)**_ **  
** **Carl** **:** **Uh, hi, Agent P. Major Monogram isn't here right now, but he left this note.** _ **(Tries to mimic Major Monogram's voice)**_ **"Dear Carl, I haven't been kidnapped so don't come looking for him... I mean me." Kinda weird, though, that he took the time to cut each letter out of a magazine. Anyway, Doof is on vacation with his daughter in Tokyo right now which is where the Annual World Good Guy convention is being held, and Major Monogram is the keynote speaker. Coincidence? 100% yes! So I guess you got the day off!**

"Really Carl? Really?" Monogram deadpanned

"Is something wrong sir?"

"I don't know…everything!?" Monogram raised hisvoice a bit at the end, not angry just very annoyed, "It so obvious! The voice is all wrong! This is why you were an unpaid intern back then!"

The sound of crickets could be heard

"What about the letter?"Holly asked

"What about the letter?" Monogram asked honestly

The sound of palm meeting face filled the room

 _ **(Back in the Flynn-Fletcher house)**_ **  
** **Stacy:** **All right, you got your breakfast. What's eating you?**

"Well I may have caved in that time."

 **** **Candace:** **Well, you know how Jeremy's in France for another week?** **  
** **Stacy:** **Yeah, so?** **  
** **Candace:** **Do you know what they have in France?** **  
** **Stacy:** **The pyramids?**

Ginger stared at her sister, "Really?"

"I know, I know. Don't worry I know where they are now"

 **** **Candace:** **No! French girls!** **  
** **Stacy:** **Come on, Candace. Everybody knows that you and Jeremy are an item.** **  
** **Candace:** **Not officially... He's never even called me his girlfriend. We've never even kissed! That means Jeremy's single, in Paris, and surrounded by French girls. I'm no fool, Stacy, I've seen the oil paintings.**

"You don't have to be this insecure you know? I can't imagine myself with anyone else." Jeremy whispered into Candace's ear. She blushed, "Keep this up and you'll get a reward." She whispered back

 **** **Stacy:** **Candace, you got to believe in yourself. What do French girls have that you don't have?** **  
** **Candace:** **At the moment, Jeremy.** **  
** **Stacy:** **Candace, if you want him to call you his girlfriend, maybe you should call him your boyfriend.** **  
** **Candace:** **I can do that? I can use the B-word first?** **  
** **Stacy:** **Sure, why not?** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh, and Stacy, pyramids? Really?** **  
** **Stacy:** **Oh, right. That's Belgium, isn't it?**

"I now know there're in Australia."

"We are getting my sister a geography book this Christmas." Ginger whispered to Baljeet

 _ **(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **Look at this, it says that the tallest structure in Tokyo is the Tokyo Tower. And it even looks like the Eiffel Tower!  
** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **See? It's just like we're in France! Oh, here's my bag now!  
** **Vanessa:** **I can't believe you brought work with you!  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz's "bag" is revealed to be Major Monogram tied up to a cart)**_

"Airport security must have been very…lax." Kai deadpanned

"I know right! They didn't even care that I brought in 1 litre of soap that day."

"Dad, why did you even brought a 1 litre bottle of soap that day?"

"Just in case Francis needed it."

"I wouldn't have accepted that from you that day anyway."

 **** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **What do you mean?  
** **Vanessa:** **Dad, you've got some guy tied up in here.  
** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **No, no, Vanessa.** _ **We've**_ **got some guy tied up in here.**

"It was all you dad."

"I thought we were a team" Doof whined

"It was still all you."

 **** **Major Monogram** **:** **I've got a name, you know.  
** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **All right. Vanessa, Major Monogram. Major Monogram, Vanessa. There, you happy now?!  
** **Major Monogram:** **I've never been happy.**

"Really sir? I can-"

"No Carl."

 **** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Come on, let's go get a taxi.  
** **Major Monogram:** **I'd prefer a town car.  
** **Dr. Doofenshmirtz:** **Quiet, you!**

"You were a very demanding prisoner by the way."

"I aim to please Doof."

 _ **(Scene shifts to the backyard)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Okay, we're getting a slight late start because of the broken wing, but here's the whole route. With stops in Tokyo and Paris to refuel.** **  
** **Isabella:** **You're going to Paris?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yeah, wanna come?** **  
** **Isabella:** **To the City of Love?** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(Obliviously)**_ **That's what they call it.** **  
** **Isabella:** **You're asking** _ **me**_ **to go to the City of Love with** _ **you**_ **?**

"I can't believe that I realise that Isabella had a crush on me that day." Phineas said, embarrassed

"Don't worry," Isabella said as she kissed Phineas, "It was one of my more subtle attempts."

Phineas felt like he could die from embarrassment, he really hope he wasn't that oblivious.

 **** **Phineas:** **Yeah, it'll be fun.**

"It wasn't really." Isabella saw the questioning looks she got, "You'll see eventually."

 **** **Isabella:** **Now, let me see if I got this straight...** **  
** **Buford:** **Hey Dinner Bell! I'm goin' with you to make sure you don't cheat.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Okay. So Baljeet, you wanna come too?** **  
** **Baljeet** **:** **Well, naturally-** **  
** **Buford:** **I get one carry-on.** **  
** **Phineas:** **All right. Carry on, then. Did you get that wing fixed yet?** **  
** **Chaka Khan:** **I guess so. We pretty much used up all the packing tape.**

"BOYS!" Linda screamed in worry.

"Um, yes Mom?"

"How could you?"

"How could I what?"

"How about I rephrase Ms Flynn's question. How could you let two people who most likely never fixed anything in their life, help repair your plane with nothing but packing tape? Am I right Ms?" Kai asked and Linda nodded

"Now that you put it that way. I guess it was pretty stupid of me." Phineas nervously, "But don't worry we make it out alive and well!"

"Well you know what they say, Hindsight is 20/20."

 **Phineas:** **Okay, the clock is ticking, everyone!** **  
** _ **(Candace comes outside, ripping through the map)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Phineas! What's going on here?** **  
** **Phineas:** **We're flying around the world to make the longest, funniest day of summer ever.**

"Not that our days weren't fun **."**

 **** **Candace:** **Oh, no, no, no. Mom left me in charge, and I say you and your little friends are not going anywhere-** **  
** **Stacy:** **Hey, Candace, check out this giant map!** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(Looks at the map)**_ **You're going to Paris...? France?**

"I had so many regrets when I pointed that out." Stacy said as she facepalmed

 **** **Phineas:** **That's the plan. We'll have to stop and refuel.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(There's a short silence while she thinks before she gets a determined look on her face)**_ **Like I was saying, you and your little friends are not going anywhere...without me!**

"See what I mean?"

"Again, Hindsight is 20/20." Ferb said

 **** **Stacy:** **No, no, no, no, Candace! This is a bad idea! About as bad as you've ever had in a loong line, and I love you when you say this, really,** _ **really**_ __ **bad ideas.**

"Thanks for the support Stace."

"You're welcome."

 **** **Candace:** **Stacy, they're going to Paris! Where Jeremy is!** **  
** **Stacy:** **You promised your mom you'd keep your brothers** _ **out**_ **of trouble.** **  
** **Candace:** **What better way to look after them than by going along and keeping them out of trouble along the way?** **  
** **Stacy:** **You realize that's a massive rationalization, don't you?** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh yeah, totally.** **  
** **Stacy:** **Well, say hi to Jeremy for me! And hey, you should stop by and see my cousins in Tokyo!**

"Maybe I should have tried harder to stop you."

 **Phineas:** **Ferb, did you get the giant map packed?** **  
** _ **(Ferb taps his pocket)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Wow, mad folding skills. You guys all ready?** **  
** **Buford:** **Ready for you to lose!** **  
** _ **(They start engine)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Uh, Ferb?** **  
** _ **(The camera pans out to reveal their house is blocking the way. Ferb clicks a button, lowering the house down into the ground)**_

"Our house can do that?" Lawrence asked, surprised

"Yeah, it's how we wash the house the fun way"

 **** **Phineas:** **All right, everyone, make sure your tray tables are stowed and your seats are in their full and up-** **  
** _ **(The airplane takes off in fast speed. The house rises again and the backyard is a mess from the take-off)**_ **  
** **Adyson** **:** **Okay, girls. We have roughly forty hours to get this backyard in line and set up for the party. Let's go, go, go!** **  
** **Clay Aiken:** **Who left her in charge?** **  
** **Adyson:** **Here, make yourself useful.** _ **(hands him a rake)**_ **  
** **Clay Aiken:** _ **(Stares)**_ **You know, we're only booked for the hour!**

"He ended up staying the whole day and even asked for a video of when you got back." Adyson informed everyone

 _ **Scene opens with the Amazing Sunbeater 3000 flying over a body of water.**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **So, what did you guys think of the Pacific Ocean?** **  
** **Buford:** **Eh, probably like my fifth favourite ocean.**

"So which is your first?" Baljeet asked

"I don't have one. They are all my fifth favourite."

"Won't that make them all your favourite?"

"Don't question me." Buford growled

"Ok!" Baljeet squeaked

 **** **Phineas:** **Next stop: Tokyo!**

 _ **(Switches to a view of Tokyo Tower, with Vanessa and Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **It says here that the Tokyo Tower is the tallest self-supporting steel structure in the world!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, look down there, that guy just fell off his bike.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **But..it says nothing about a...giant water balloon.** **  
** _ **(The Tokyo Tower is seen again but reveals a giant water balloon hanging from the top)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** _ **(Suspiciously)**_ **Dad?**

"Why is it always my fault?"

"That's because it always is Grandfather." Thomas pointed out

"Great even my grandson is against me. You're with me right team?" Maggie flew back to Adyson, Harry and Perry looked away, Karen continued to sleep without a care in the world, "Wow, thanks team."

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Do you like it?** **  
** **Vanessa:** **We're supposed to be on vacation.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ah, we'll be on our way as soon as Major Monogram drops this water balloon on the entire International Good Guy convention.** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **I would** __ _ **never**_ **pull an elaborate childish prank like that. It would ruin my reputation! Destroy my credita- oh, I see where you're going with this.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Yes! And best of all, without your leadership, it will totally put an end to the...yes... What's the name of your organization again?** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **The O.W.C.A. The Organization Without a Cool Acronym.**

"Why didn't you try to name it something else?" Molly asked

"Well, we really could not think of a better acronym, it's not a lie"

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Okay. Well I'm going to put an end to Ah-ooh-CA, I guess...? Wow, that really isn't a cool acronym.** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Told ya.**

 _ **(Back with the plane)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Ladies and gentlemen, Tokyo, Japan.** **  
** **Candace:** **Hey, Stacy has family down there. We should visit.** **  
** **Phineas:** **We're one step ahead of you, Candace.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(screams)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Here we are!** **  
** _ **(The plane lowers down and starts dragging against the road until it comes to a complete stop)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Whoops.** _ **(He clicks a button and the landing wheels pop out)**_ **I thought it sounded a little grindy and sparky.**

"Maybe I should have done that sooner." Phineas said, embarrassed

 **** _ **(Ferb approaches an old woman)**_ **  
** **Ferb:** _ **Kon'nichiwa! Suteishī no tomodachi desu!**_ _ **("Hello! We are friends of Stacy!")**_

"Is there anything Ferb can't do?" Vanessa asked

"Well, not to my knowledge, no" Phineas confessed

"Vanessa, you have to let me borrow Ferb sometime." Baljeet begged

 **** **Bāchan Hirano:** **Hey, everybody! Phineas and Ferb are here!** **  
** _ **(A gong is heard as a ton of people run out of a nearby house joining them)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Wow! Stacy sure has a lot of cousins.**

 **(Song:** **J-Pop (Welcome to Tokyo)** **)**

 **Cousins:** **Welcome to Tokyo** **  
** **Being glad that you are here** **  
** **We came visiting, Delightful us** **  
** **Welcome to Tokyo**

 **Phineas:** _ **Hey, do you guys have any vegetable oil we can use? We need to refuel.**_ **  
** **Cousin:** _ **Oh, sure. Obaachan owns a tempura restaurant.**_

 **As for a list of exotic amusements** **  
** **We choice between the summer there** **  
** _ **It**_ **is here we look at baseball** **  
** **Like the fact that it does**

 **As some people the fact** **  
** **That volleyball is done and is enjoyed** **  
** **When it's hot we swim in water** **  
** **Like the fact that it goes**

 _ **(The group gets back on the plane, still doing the Caramelldansen)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Thanks a lot! We'll say hi to Stacy for you!** _ **(The plane takes off, and everyone is still dancing)**_ **Man, Tokyo's a fun town!  
** **Candace:** **I have no idea what just happened.**

"I don't either," Ginger shrugged, "But you get used to it."

"You don't?!" Stacy gasped, "How could you? It's tradition!"

"Do you?"

"Of course! It's…um…it's…I don't know."

 _ **(Back at Tokyo Tower)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **No one in the Agency will ever believe that I dropped that water balloon.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, they will. Because** _ **you're**_ **going to confess that you did it on-camera for the world to see!** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **You can't make me talk. I have nerves of steel and...an iron will and...gold teeth and a...copper spleen. Basically, I'm 35% metal.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, man. It must be hard getting through the airport.**

"Don't you mean that figuratively sir?"

"I know what I meant Carl."

 **** **Major Monogram:** **Oh, don't get me started. Anyway, you can't make me talk.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh yeah?** _ **(Puts his fingers on the Major's mouth as if he's the one talking)**_ **"I am Major Monogram. I dropped that water balloon. I have poopy pants." Eh?** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Well. I stand corrected. That's actually very convincing.**

The animal agents of O.W.C.A all facepalmed at their leaders's stupidity

"It was good ok!" Monogram tried to defend himself

"I believe that everyone can see those fingers, not to mention that voice doesn't even matches yours at all." Kai said dryly

 **** **Vanessa:** **Dad! This entire trip has been about your work! That's it! If you don't want to spend time with** _ **me**_ **, then I don't want to spend time with** _ **you**_ **.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Vanessa! Where are you going?** **  
** **Vanessa:** **I'm going to the airport and I'm flying to Paris.** _ **(Perry lands beside her)**_ **Hey, Perry.** _ **(to Doofenshmirtz)**_ **Alone if I have to!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Vanessa, wait!** _ **(Vanessa stops)**_ **You have all the traveler's checks.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Traveler's checks? Really?!**

"Not my best moment that's for sure." Doof admitted, he felt a tug on his shirt and saw Perry with an open dictionary

"Tact? What's that?"

His team facepalmed again

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ohh, did I say traveler's checks? Uhh, no, no... I** _ **do**_ **wanna spend time with you... Ohh look, look. I'll drop the water balloon right now and...** _ **(gets kicked by Perry)**_ **  
** _ **(The remote hits Major Monogram before dropping on the ground and breaking, the button on it beginning to blink)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Cheese and crackers! Oh, excuse me, you two... But uh...is that button supposed to be blinking like that?** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Yep! That means it's working!** **  
** _ **(The water balloon starts swinging from where it's attached on the top of the tower)  
**_ **Vanessa:** **Ohh, this can't be good.** _ **(She gets hit by the water balloon and falls)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Vanessa! NOO!** **  
** _ **(She shouts as she falls before she's caught by Phineas and Ferb's plane)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, they caught her! They caught her!** **  
** _ **(Vanessa pulls herself away from the glass and sees Ferb on the plane)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **Ferb?** **  
** **Ferb:** **Vanessa?** **  
** **Phineas:** **No matter where we go, Ferb knows everyone.**

Everyone laughed

"My hero." Vanessa said as she kissed Ferb

 **** _ **(Ferb lets her in)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **Thanks, guys.** **  
** **Phineas:** **It's a good thing we came along when we did. So where do we drop you?** **  
** **Vanessa:** **I don't know. Where are you guys going?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, we're off to Paris to refuel then back to Danville.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Can I just come with you?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Sure.**

 _ **(The plane continues on and Doofenshmirtz watches from the Tower)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Wait, wait, wait... You saved her and now you're running off with her like...? OH! I have very mixed feelings about you!** _ **(to Perry)**_ **Uh... Perry the Platypus, how did you get here? I-I need a ride. Could you guys help me out?**

"How nice. The father really wants to spent time with his daughter."

 **** **Major Monogram:** **You're kidding, right?**

"And here comes the heartless obstacle. Funny how the room is reversed huh?"

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **No! I have to save my daughter. This is a big deal! Oh please? Please please? Oh, please please-y weasy please please?** _ **Please**_ **?** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Fine. But after we get her back, you're going to answer for what you've done here, mister.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Wait, what? You were coming here, anyway, and...** _ **(He accidentally steps on the button and water balloon is released from the rope holding it to the tower and flies up into the sky)**_ **Oh, and uh... As far as flinging that water balloon into orbit, hehheh...** _ **(puts his fingers on Major Monogram's mouth again)**_ **"I did that."** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Seriously. When was the last time you washed your hands?**

"Meh, if I remember correctly…I didn't for a week."

Monogram choked, "What!"

"Ah it's been years, get over it."

Monogram turned green, "I'm going to be sick."

A door appeared nearby

" _Here you go."_

"Thanks." The sounds of vomiting could be heard

"What a big baby."

"Quite Doof!" Monogram yelled from the toilet

 _ **(Back with the Sunbeater 3000)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **OK, everybody! Keep an eye out for Klimpaloon!** **  
** **Candace:** **Klimpaloon?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yeah, Klimpaloon! The magical old-timey bathing suit that lives in the Himalayas!** **  
** **Candace:** **You're making that up.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Come on Candace, does that sound like something someone would make up?** **  
** _ **(Beeping sound comes from the altitude meter)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **What's that?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Uh oh, we didn't calculate for the weight of an extra body.**

"Are you saying I'm fat!?"

Phineas looked at his brother for support, only to see him avoiding eye contact and whistling, "No I'm just saying that we didn't thought that we'll meet another person along the way."

Vanessa narrowed his eyes, "…ok."

 **** **Candace:** **Will this affect our arrival in Paris?**

"Was that really all you cared about Candace?" Linda asked

"I was a teenage girl trying to meet her boyfriend. What do you expect?" Candace shrugged

 **** **Phineas:** **Hmm... let me let you know in about two seconds.** **  
** _ **(Wings of the plane are broken off within two seconds)**_

Linda and Lawrence gasped in shock **  
** **Phineas:** **Candace?** **  
** **Candace:** **Yeah?** **  
** **Phineas:** **It IS going to affect our arrival in Paris!** **  
** _ **(The Sun-Beater crashes, and Klimpaloon shuffles past.)**_ **  
** **Klimpaloon:** **NANG NANG NANG NANG NANG NANG NANG NANG!** **  
** **Phineas:** **And you thought I'd made it up!**

"That was not the time Phineas!" Linda yelled in worry

 _ **(On Perry's hovercraft)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Do you even have any idea where we're supposed to be going?  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Fortunately, Vanessa's wearing the earrings I got her. They're made out of these cool little tracking devices.**

"DAD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TAGGED ME!" Vanessa yelled as she stomped on her father

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"That reminds me of something." Baljeet whispered to Buford

"You're still tagged by the way."

"WHAT!"

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Look, see; the signal's not too far away but it's on the move. Thataway! Woohoo! Team Doofenshmirtz,** _ **go**_ **!** _ **(Perry and Major Monogram glare)**_ **What? Like I'm going to let** _ **you**_ **name the team? Organization Without a Cool Acronym?**

"He does have a point." Kai said and saw Monogram and Carl glare at him, "Not that his name is any better."

 _ **(At the Himalayas)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **Well, looks like you're gonna lose!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Hey! I believe my Uncle Sabu lives not far from here! Perhaps he can help!**

"At the Himalayas? It must be a pain to get to town everyday" **  
** **Phineas:** **Cool! Come on, let's go!** **  
** **Candace:** **Forget it. I'm staying with the plane.**

"Keep them out of trouble she said." Linda glared at her daughter

"I'm really sorry?" Candace tried

 **** **Vanessa:** **And I'll keep her company.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Okay. Back in a few.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **So Candace, what is** _ **Ferb**_ **short for?** **  
** **Candace:** **I...don't...know.**

"Well what is Ferb short for?" Candace asked her parents

"I...don't...know. Lawrence, what is Ferb short for?" Linda asked

"Frank I believe? I honestly can't remember."

Phineas just shrugged

 _ **(With the kids)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **He is home!** **  
** **Uncle Sabu:** **Ah, Baljeet and friends, I was expecting you.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Really?** **  
** **Uncle Sabu:** **No, that's just something we say up here to freak out the tourists.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Uhh, Uncle Sabu, do you live up here?** **  
** **Uncle Sabu:** **Yes, it's quite a trek, isn't it? It used to be very inconvenient for me. But then I built my factory up here, and now it's inconvenient for everyone else!**

"He's really…nice I guess." Ginger sweatdropped

"I know, he's always like that." Baljeet sighed

 **** **Phineas:** **What do you make here?** **  
** **Uncle Sabu:** **Ohh, wait for it. There's a whole musical number.**

 **(Song:** **Rubber Bands, Rubber Balls** **)**

 **Rubber bands, rubber balls** **  
** **Made with super-special density** **  
** **Rubber bands, rubber balls** **  
** **They can bounce with such intensity**

 **This is the room where we test the stretching** **  
** **This is the room where we test the bounce** **  
** **Here we add the long-chained hydrocarbons** **  
** **The names of which I cannot pronounce**

 **This is the room where we test compression** **  
** **This is the room where we test recoil** **  
** **This is a break room for all these dancers**

 **And here's a little fridge so the curry won't spoil**

"I nice of them to take care of their workers."

 **Rubber bands, rubber balls** **  
** **Made with super-special density** **  
** **Rubber bands, rubber balls** **  
** **They can bounce with such intensity**

 **Basically what we make here is rubber** **  
** **We're not trying to diversify** **  
** **We don't make knickknacks, we don't make tchotchkes** **  
** **Or really anything that's gonna catch your eye**

 **We don't make pianos, we don't make cream sodas** **  
** **We don't make the zippers for your parachute pants** **  
** **We don't make ice cube trays or ceiling fans** **  
** **We make rubber bands!**

 **Rubber bands, rubber balls** **  
** **Made with super-special density** **  
** **Rubber bands, rubber balls** **  
** **They can bounce with such intensity**

 **Phineas:** **So, what do you make here again?  
** **Uncle Sabu:** **Okay everyone, back to work.  
** **Phineas:** **No, I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Could we borrow one of these?**

"And by borrow I mean give." Phineas said, "We never did returned it to him after all."

 _ **(Scene opens with Vanessa and Candace standing at the base of a mountain, looking at their phones.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Ugh, I've got like...no bars here.**

"You're in the Himalayas, what did you think was going to happen?"

"I was teenager ok!" Candace blushed

"I don't think I was that bad when I was a teenager." Gretchen whispered to Adyson  
 **Vanessa:** **Let's see if we get a signal further up the mountain.**

 _ **(On Perry's hovercraft)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I got her! She's down there on that craggy mountain. Quick! Let's land this bird.  
** **Major Monogram:** **The terrain is too treacherous. You're going to have to parachute. Here's your parachute, goggles and oxygen mask.**

"I was just trying to get rid of you at that point." Monogram told Doof

"I knew it was strange when the terrain affected the landing of a hovercraft."

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Wow, you have everything. How about a nice cup of hot co...** _ **(The seat ejects him)**_ **COOOOOOO!** _ **(Doofenshmirtz lands on the mountain and begins to roll down, gathering snow and accidentally making a giant snowball)**_

 _ **(With Vanessa and Candace)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **Do you hear a...rumbling noise?**

 _ **(Back with the kids where a giant rubber band ball is attached to the bottom of the plane)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **So, as soon as Candace and Vanessa get here, we can...  
** **Candace:** _ **(She and Vanessa are running from the giant snowball while Candace shouts)**_ **Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane!  
** **Phineas:** **Ferb, I think we may wanna start the plane.  
** _ **(Ferb tries to start the plane but it won't start)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Start the PLANE! Start the plane! Start the PLAAANE!  
** **Phineas:** **Sounds like you're flooding it...  
** **Ferb:** **I'm not flooding it!**

"I thought that was a horror movie cliché."

 **** **Candace:** **Start the plaaane!  
** _ **(Vanessa gets caught by the snowball and gets flung towards the plane)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **INCOMING!  
** _ **(Ferb provides a safe landing for Vanessa when he clicks a button and causes a seat to rise up and catch her)**_

"Wow, you really did think of everything when you made that plane."

 **** **Candace:** **Start the plane! Start the PLANE!** _ **(She trips over a small hill, causing the snowball to miss her)**_ **Huh?  
** _ **(The snowball hits the plane and falls down a cliff)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **No, no, no! How am I ever going to explain this to Mom?!  
** **Klimpaloon:** _ **(passes by)**_ **NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG!  
** **Candace:** **That's NOT helping!  
** **Klimpaloon:** _ **(walks away scared)**_ **NANG... NANG... NANG... NANG...**

"That was mean of you." Holly frowned

"Don't worry, I made it up of him."

 **** _ **(The plane bounces back up again)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Candace! Hop on!** _ **(Candace gets on)**_ **All right! Hold on to something!  
** _ **(The plane zooms off, and the snowball flies off of it)**_

 _ **(The giant snowball lands beside Perry's hovercraft and the snow falls off, revealing Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **So, how'd it go?**

"I just wanted to rub it in then."

"Are you sure you're a good guy?"

 _ **(The plane bounces off all around the world)**_ **  
** **(Song:** **Bouncin' Around the World** **)**

 **Come on along with me** **  
** **So many sights to see** **  
** **But not a whole lot of time** **  
** **We're in a hurry** **  
** **We're bouncin' around the world**

 **I think we all can agree** **  
** **That was the Baltic Sea** **  
** **I check my GPS I**

 **I'm pretty sure that** **  
** **We're bouncin' around the world**

 **We'll bounce across the Great Wall** **  
** **And past the Taj Mahal** **  
** **We'll go to Rome and see the Colosseum** **  
** **The Colosseum**

 **It's a real whirlwind tour** **  
** **So if you wanna be sure** **  
** **Don't you blink or you won't see 'em** **  
** **You won't see 'em**

"And you thought you didn't return her affection." Baljeet teased when he saw Isabella and Phineas dance together

 **I wish that we could stay and have some fun** **  
** **But we gotta keep chasin' the sun**

 **With a little compression** **  
** **And a little recoil** **  
** **And a big jet engine** **  
** **We're gonna be** **  
** **Bouncin' around the world**

 **And baby, that ain't all** **  
** **We got a big rubber ball** **  
** **Did I forget to mention**

"Yay! Sinagapore!" Kai cheered

 **** **That we're gonna be** **  
** **Bouncin', bouncin', bouncin', bouncin', bouncin'** **  
** **Bouncin', bouncin', bouncin', bouncin', bouncin'** **  
** **Bouncin' around the world**

 **Bouncin' all over the world** **  
** **Bouncin' all over the world**

 **Phineas:** **We're all out of rubber bands... But the good news is we're gonna crash into Paris.**

"That's bad news Phineas ." Baljeet deadpanned

 **** **Candace:** **How is that good news?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Huh? I thought you** _ **wanted**_ **to go to Paris?** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh yeah, I did.** **  
** _ **(The plane falls; everyone screams)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **I'm feeling very conflicted about this!** **  
** _ **(The Sunbeater 3000 lands in the Seine River)**_

 _ **Scene opens with the gang in the Sunbeater 3000, most of the group look a bit messed up from the crash.**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **All right gang, we made it to Paris. We need fuel and parts so we need to split up.** **  
** **Buford:** **Yeah, my pants are way ahead of ya.**

"Aww, was the bully scared?" Blajeet teased

"I can still bully you nerd."

"I'll shut up now."

 _ **(Back on Perry's hovercraft)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **According to this sdƃ, Vanessa's in some place called sıɹɐd. Hmm...** **  
** _ **(Perry turns over the GPS)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, Paris! That makes a lot more sense. That's actually where she wanted to go. Good for her.**

"I'm surprised that you followed her all the way to paris with an upside down GPS"

" _That's because of me."_

 _ **(Back in Paris)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Okay, everybody, let's get going. Candace, you go see Jeremy.** **  
** **Candace:** **Way ahead of ya!** _ **(She runs off)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Baljeet and Buford, you guys go scare up the fuel we need.** **  
** **Buford:** **You're still gonna lose, but do I like scaring things.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Ferb, why don't you go to the Eiffel Tower and get a reading on the trade winds?** **  
** **Vanessa:** _ **(Drives up on a scooter)**_ **Hop on!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Vanessa, you rented a scooter!** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Uhh, yeah.** _ **Rented**_ **.** _ **(Ferb gets on and the two head for the Eiffel Tower)**_

"Vanessa you did still that scooter. Hmm, if I was a bad guy I would be so proud of you. But, I'm a good guy now, don't worry I'm still proud of you!"

"DAD! I didn't steal it." Vanessa then muttered under her breathe, "I just took it without his permission."

"That's still stealing. Vanessa"

"Shut up dad!" Vanessa whined

 **** **Phineas:** **I'm going to go see if I can go find some parts. Isabella, you want to come with me?** **  
** **Isabella:** **YES! I mean, yeah, sure, you know, whatever. It's all good, bro.**

"And now begin my most ignore attempts in my live." Isabella sighed

 _ **(Back with Candace...)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Okay. Jeremy's staying in the hotel La Poubelle. La Poubelle, La Poubelle, La Poubelle...** _ **(She sees a woman)**_ **Oh, pardonaise-moi, madam.** **  
** **Woman:** **Oui?** **  
** _ **(Candace pulls out a French-English dictionary)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Une moment. Can you tell me... Oh, "Pouvaise-vous me dire" uh...** **  
** **Woman:** **Can I tell you directions? It's okay, I speak English.** **  
** **Candace:** **Yes. I speak English. Parlais anglais. Uh, ou est la Hotel Poubelle?** **  
** **Woman:** **It's just around the corner.** **  
** **Candace:** **Ugh, around the corner, around the corner, "oh quan de la rou-ee?"** **  
** **Woman:** **Oui.** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh, never mind. I'll find it myself.**

"I wanted to find Jeremy ok!" Candace blushed in embarrassment, "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

"There, there it's ok." Jeremy patted he back with a smile on his face.

 **Candace:** _ **(She turns the corner and sees the hotel)**_ **Hey, Hotel Poubelle! It was just around the corner!** _ **(She sees Jeremy)**_ **There he is! Jer -** _ **(She stops when she sees Jeremy talking and having fun with some French kids. She looks depressed before walking away. A mime appears where she was previously standing, letting go of a balloon)**_

"Don't worry Candace, you're the only one for me." Jeremy promised

"You are so getting that reward."Candace whispered

 _ **(With Phineas and Isabella)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **So Phineas, what do you think of the City of Love?** **  
** **Phineas:** **I wish it was the City of Airplane Parts.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Oh, you're just too stressed. You should take a moment to relax and enjoy it.** **  
** **(Song:** **City of Love** **)**

 **We could share a crêpe sucrée** **  
** **At this Parisian café** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **Huh. That awning could be used as a sail. Or, you know, a parachute. Depending on how things go.**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Take a break and smell these flowers** **  
** **Underneath the Eiffel Tower** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **I wonder if they still have pieces of that hanging around? The rivets would come in handy.**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **Oh, Phineas...**_

 **Won't you share a crème brûlée with me?** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **Hey, look at that nifty little blow torch!**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **How perfect could this be** **  
** **In the City of Love?** **  
** **Couples:** **(In the City of Love)** **  
** **Isabella:** **In the City of Love** **  
** **Ferb:** **(In the City of Love)**

 **Isabella:** **We could try some fancy cheese** **  
** **Or peruse the galleries** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **I wonder if oil-based paint is combustible...as a rocket fuel.**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Isn't this a perfect day?** **  
** **How do I look in this beret?**

"I want a beret like that when I grow up." Marie giggled

 **** **Phineas:** _ **Oh, that reminds me, we might need helmets!**_

 **Isabella:** **Oh, how can he not feel the same way** **  
** **When we're strolling down the Champs-Élysées** **  
** **In the City of Love?** **  
** **Lady:** **(In the City of Love)** **  
** **Couples:** **In the City of Love**

 **Isabella:** **I wish that he would whisper "ma chérie, je t'aime"** **  
** **But all he wants to do is try to fix that plane** **  
** **In the City of Love** **  
** **Artist:** **(In the City of Love)** **  
** **Isabella:** **In the City of Love (in the City of Love)** **  
** **In the City of Love... (in the City of Love)**

 _(_ _ **The mime passes by and lets go of a balloon)**_ **  
** **Vendor:** **Hey you! Stop letting my balloons go!**

Everyone laughed at the last part.

"What a way to break the mood." Kai wiped a tear, he look at Phineas with a raised eyebrow, "I heard the stories man but I didn't know you were this oblivious."

Phineas blushed at what Kai said in embarrassment, "I'm sorry" He apologized to Isabella

"Don't worry, I got over it a long time ago."

 _ **(With Baljeet and Buford...)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **Now Buford, your mindless bullying may have a rustic charm stateside, but now we are in Europe. A place of high refinement. So let** _ **me**_ **do all the talking.** _ **(They go inside a restaurant and speaks with a man in a different accent)**_ **Excuse me, sir. Would you have any used cooking oil that we could have?** **  
** **Man:** **Non.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Ohh, the French are so intimidating!** **  
** **Buford:** **Out of my way, runt.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Do not do anything too crazy!** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(Cracks his fingers)**_ _ **Excusez-moi mon bon monsieur. Auriez-vous par hazard un soupçon d'huile de cuisson que nous pourrions utiliser sans nous démerder un sou?**_ _ **(Excuse me, good sir. Would you by chance have a touch of cooking oil that we could use without losing a penny?)**_

"I'm so in love right now." Gretchen whispered

"What?" Molly asked

"Nothing" **  
** **Man:** **But of course.** **  
** _ **(Baljeet stares in disbelief at Buford, who quickly notices)**_ **  
** **Buford:** _ **(to Baljeet)**_ **Not one word about that to the others.**

"And there goes all my pride." Buford sighed

"A man of many skills you are."

"My pride is still gone."

 _ **(Phineas stares deeply at a bread store as a man is taking some giant, fake baguettes off of the front)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** _ **Pardonnez-moi, monsieur**_ **, are you throwing those away?** **  
** **Man:** _ **C'est les ordres.**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **This is about the plane, isn't it?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well yeah, what else?** **  
** **Isabella:** **Well, I guess we'll always have giant plastic baguettes.**

"And we still do." Isabella commented

"…We are going to pretend we all understand that." Katie said with a sweatdropped

 _ **(On top of Eiffel Tower)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **I don't know, Ferb. I know he's my dad and I shouldn't blame him for being busy, it's just that...he always seems to put his work ahead of me.** _ **(She sighs)**_ **I just don't know what to do.** **  
** **Ferb:** **Well, sometimes if you love somebody, you have to meet them halfway.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Halfway, huh? Hmm.** _ **(Ferb looks and sees a flower shop as she's talking)**_ **You mean like, maybe I should take an interest in his work? I would but, it's actually evil. I just can't...** _ **(She looks to see Ferb is gone)**_ **Ferb?** **  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz arrives and is near Vanessa)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Vanessa! We've come to rescue you!** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Dad? I was just gonna... Wait. What do you mean "we"?** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I hitched a ride! You remember these guys, don't you?** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Hello again, young lady.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **I can't believe you brought work with you again!**

"Well technically I brought them to save you you know?"

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Work? What do you... Oh, you mean them? No, Major Monobrow and Perry the Platypus, they...they were helping me find you!** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Mono** _ **brow**_ **?** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, come on. You've got that whole thing up here, it runs right... It's one straight line, for crying out loud!** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **That's it. I'm getting my tweezers back from Carl.**

"Not that you ever do sir."

"That's it, give me back my tweezers Carl!"

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, come on, Vanessa. I came halfway around the world to get you!** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Halfway?** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Yeah, halfway around the world.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **You met me halfway.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I suppose you could put it that way.** **  
** _ **(Vanessa and Doofenshmirtz smile at each other)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **You did, didn't you? You know what Dad, move over. I'm coming with you.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, this is great, Vanessa! Why don't we talk to these guys for giving us a tour in Paris? We could go check out the Guillotine Museum!**

"It was not how I imagined my Paris vacation to be." Vanessa sighed

 **** **Major Monogram:** **Gross.** **  
** _ **(Ferb comes back to with a rose in hand, and sees Vanessa flying off with Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **Bye, Ferb! Thanks for everything!**

"Thanks for getting me that rose though."

"At least he got you something." Isabella grumbled

 _ **(With Phineas, Isabella, Baljeet and Buford. Buford and Baljeet are fixing the boat while Phineas and Isabella stand nearby)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, the baguettes are rubber banded on. That should get us across the Atlantic. Why didn't we think of that in the first place?** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(sarcastically)**_ **Gee, I don't know.** **  
** _ **(Ferb shows up)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, Ferb. Where's Vanessa?** **  
** **Ferb:** **She went off with someone else.** **  
** **Phineas:** **That's too bad. I thought the two of you, you know, a boy, a girl, alone in the City of Love. I thought romance was a foregone conclusion.**

"Now he was just rubbing it in." Isabella sighed, "It's like he sees me as one of the guys or something."

"I kinda…did."

"So that's why my attempts keep failing."

" _That and you guys were like 8."_

 **** **Isabella:** **Grrrr!** _ **(Isabella looks on in surprise as he says this before finally breaking her pencil in anger)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(Obviously)**_ **Isabella, did you say something?** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(Annoyed)**_ **I need a new pencil.**

"And you need a better romance detector!"

"Hmm, I should start working on that…"

Isabella sighed at Phineas's answer

 **** _ **(Ferb hands her another pencil when Candace comes back)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, hey, Candace. So how'd it go? Did you see Jeremy?** **  
** **Candace:** **Well, I saw him. I just didn't talk to him.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, that's too bad. I thought, you know, the two of you, a boy, a girl,** _ **alone**_ **in the City of Love...** **  
** **Isabella:** **Grrrr!** _ **(Isabella reacts the same way as before but instead of breaking her pencil, her head explodes)**_

"And it happens twice! Like really?"

"I should really start working on that romance detector."

Isabella felt like tearing her hair out

 **** **Phineas:** **Isabella?!** **  
** _ **(Shows that she's fine and it was just a dream)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Isabella, are you okay?** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(annoyed)**_ **Peachy.** **  
** **Phineas:** **So, what happened?** **  
** **Candace:** **Well, you know when you know someone, and you see that they have another, like, life away from you and it feels weird?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Like when you see your teacher in the grocery store weird? Or like when someone you've known for a long time starts wearing a cowboy hat weird?**

"Those were very specific types of weird…"

 **** **Candace:** **The...the first thing weird.** **  
** **Phineas:** **That's good. 'Cause I was thinking about getting the cowboy hat.**

"I never did get that cowboy hat…I should improve it to be like Perry's!"

 **** **Candace:** **It's just... Jeremy looked like he was having a really good time here. And it suddenly seems creepy and obsessive that I came all this way.**

"Now that you put it like that…it kinda does."

Candace slapped Jeremy's shoulder, "There goes your reward!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

 **Candace:** **What if he doesn't wanna see me? Or came to Paris to get away from me?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Candace, like the song said, you have to believe you can!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **I think Candace may have missed that song.** **  
** **Buford:** **Yeah, man, she was in the house!** **  
** **Phineas:** **What?! You missed Clay Aiken and Chaka Khan?!** **  
** **Candace:** **Uhh...apparently.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, that's too bad. But the jist of it was that you gotta believe in yourself.** **  
** **Candace:** **Well, that's easy for you, Phineas! Look at all the things you've done. Summer** _ **belongs**_ **to you.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Summer doesn't belong to me. It belongs to everyone! And that includes you. You** _ **have**_ **to believe that.** **  
** **Candace:** **Well, my summer's been a series of failures.** _ **(Sadly)**_ **I have a hard time believing in anything.**

"But it was fun failures." Candace said brightly

"Really?"

"…No"

 **** **Phineas:** **Well...you got on this plane. You know, back when it WAS a plane. Which means you believe in us!** **  
** **Ferb:** **And we believe in you.** **  
** **Phineas:** **And therefore, through the transitive property of belief, you** _ **do**_ **believe in yourself!** **  
** **Candace:** **I do?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Besides, when we did all those things, you were right there with us!** **  
** **Candace:** **I was, wasn't I?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yes! You're Candace Flynn!** **Monster truck driver** **.** **Charioteer** **.** **Queen of Mars** **!** **  
** **Candace:** **Well, I** _ **am**_ **Candace Flynn.** **  
** **Phineas:** **That's the spirit!** **  
** **Candace:** **You're right. I'm Candace Flynn!** **Lifeguard** **!** **  
** **Phineas:** **That's right, Candace!** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(She starts climbing on the plane)**_ **Time** **traveler** **!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Don't break the engine!** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(She stands on top of the engine before shouting)**_ **I am Candace Flynn!** **Cou de Crayon** **!**

"Ohh you are amazing, Candace."

"Why thank you Kai."

 **** _ **(Jeremy appears on the bridge overhead)**_ **  
** **Jeremy:** **Candace?** **  
** **Candace:** **Jeremy?!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **It** _ **is**_ **you! I was just over there in the taxi and I saw you over... What are you doing here?** **  
** **Candace:** **Well, my brothers have this idea of flying over...** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Your brothers? Say no more.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Oops, we slipped our mooring. Guess we're leaving. Hey Candace, better wrap it up! Looks like we're on our way.** **  
** **Candace:** **What? No, not yet! I have something I wanted to tell you!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Really, what is it?** **  
** **Candace:** **I wanted to tell you earlier but then I saw you in front of your hotel, with those kids, and the girl with the ice cream...** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Candace, were you spying on me?** **  
** **Candace:** **No, no, it's just that I saw you and it was like...it was like my teacher wearing a cowboy hat!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **I would hope my girlfriend would have a little trust in me.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(Shocked)**_ **Jeremy... You said the G-word!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Well, yeah, I used the...oh...ugh, hold on!** _ **(He runs to the opposite side of the bridge)**_ **Yeah, I used the G-word. It doesn't freak you out, does it?** **  
** **Candace:** **No, because I think of you as my B-word.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Well, G-word. You want a K-word?**

"Those were a lot of words."

 **** **Candace:** **Heheheh, maybe?** **  
** _ **(The two try to kiss but the plane continues to slowly drift away)**_ **  
** **Jeremy:** **Uhh...Candace?** **  
** **Candace:** **All set, Jeremy! Start kissin'!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Candace...!** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(Opens her eyes and sees that he's too far away)**_ **No, no, no, no, no,** _ **no**_ **!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **W-Wait, you can't leave now! You would...just get off on the next bridge!** **  
** **Candace:** **I can't, I'm in charge of these guys. I-I gotta be responsible. I'll see you in a week, boyfriend!**

"And you'll get in trouble with me if you stay young lady!

" **  
** **Phineas:** **Candace, you better take your seat.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Don't worry, Candace. The week will be over before you know it.** _ **(A bit bitterly)**_ **At least** _ **you**_ **got a love scene on a bridge.**

"I just got endless frustrations in Paris." Phineas winced when he heard that.

 **** **Buford:** **"Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by the imagination."** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Voltaire, Buford? Really?** **  
** **Buford:** **Oh, I can't help it. Paris does it to me every time.**

"How many times have you been there anyway?"

"As of now? 10"

 **** **Phineas:** **It's four o'clock, we're on a baguette boat, with a fuel tank filled with snail grease. I have a good feeling about this. Okay everyone, hold on to something!** **  
** _ **(The Sunbeater as a boat zooms away)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Ohohoh, YEEAH!** **  
** **Mime:** _ **(Gets splashed by water as the plane zooms past)**_ **Hey everyone! I can talk!**

"Great a delusional Mime" Doof said as he rolled his eyes

 **** **Phineas:** **We're almost to Le Havre harbour, Ferb. After that, it's nothing but an open ocean and a couple of remote islands! We should be home in no time!** _ **(He notices a huge ship blocking the way)**_ **Huh, well that might be a problem.**

 **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(On the hovercraft)**_ **Hey, check it out! It's my giant water balloon!**

"It did? That's amazing!"

"Meh, not really." Phineas said.

 _ **(The balloon crashes and creates a giant wave that lets the baguette boat pass over the ship, zooming away)**_ **  
** **(Song:** **Follow the Sun** **)**

 **Gonna follow the sun** **  
** **Yeah, we'll follow the sun** **  
** **As long as we had a good time,** **  
** **We already won**

 **Sailor 1:** **Would you look at that. Five kids in a jet-powered baguette boat in the middle of the Atlantic.  
** **Sailor 2:** **Ahh, that reminds me of Karen Johnson.  
** **Sailor 1:** **Everything reminds you of Karen Johnson.  
** **Sailor 2:** **I hate being a sailor.**

 _ **(Song continuation:)**_

 **** **Gonna follow the sun**

 **Phineas:** **Well, looks like everything worked out the best! That giant wave put us back on schedule. We may even arrive in Danville ahead of time. You know, barring any foreseen mishaps.**

"What mishaps? It was like the Mysterious Force was helping you that entire time seeing as you always landed in convenient places."

 **Phineas:** _ **(The stirring wheel suddenly breaks off)**_ **Oh, like that.** _ **That's**_ **what I'm talking about.** _ **(The engine breaks)**_ **And that.** _ **(Another part breaks off)**_ **And that.** _ **(The baguettes fall off)**_ **And that.** _ **(Everything breaks except for the seats)**_ **This is all** _ **exactly**_ **what I was talking about earlier.**

"…or maybe not."

" _I just took my eyes of them, for one second and that happens!"_

 _ **Scene opens up with The Sunbeater 3000 on a remote island.**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, Ferb, that was our worst landing yet. I'm beginning to detect a pattern here.**

" _And that pattern is that every act begins with a bad landing."_

 **** **Candace:** **Phineas! This isn't Danville; it's a deserted island! The only things on this island are us, a couple of trees and a big fat ox!  
** **Buford:** **Hey!  
** **Candace:** **Not you big fat ox, him big fat ox.  
** _ **(The Ox is saddened by Candace's comment)**_

"That's one of our agents!"

"You don't go well with animals do you?"

 **** **Candace:** **When Mom and Dad left me in charge, I never took into account that we might not make it back at all! Now we're stranded, and now I'll never get my kiss from Jeremy!** _ **(She starts crying and falls to her knees)**_ **It's the end of romance! Aaagh!** _ **(She curls into a ball on the ground)**_ **  
** **Buford:** _ **(Laughs)**_ **You're gonna lose!  
** **Phineas:** **You do realize that** _ **you're**_ **stranded on this island too, right?  
** **Buford:** **I don't care, I'm winning!** _ **(He laughs some more)**_ **I'm done.  
** **Baljeet:** **Phineas, how are we going to get off this island?  
** **Phineas:** **Well, we'll just have to fix the boat!  
** **Candace:** _ **(Hopelessly)**_ **With what?  
** **Phineas:** **There's plenty here. All we need is our imagination! For instance, we could tie those two palm trees into a raft and add a supersonic outboard motor. Oh, wait...we don't have anything to cut the trees with and...we don't have an outboard motor.** _ **(He looks at the ox)**_ **Aaah, I know, we could soup up this ox so he could run on a conveyor belt that would charge the... Ohh, we don't have a conveyor belt and we don't have any soup.**

"Soup?"

"To feed the ox."

 **** **Buford:** **Not to mention... You're never gonna make it!  
** **Phineas:** **We'll make it! After all, we've got... Uhh...** _ **(He looks around)**_ **We've got the seats! We've still got one rubber band! And we've got...** _ **(He looks at the ground after seeing nothing else before he picks up handfuls of sand)**_ __ **We've got sand!  
** **Buford:** **Hey, maybe you could make an hourglass and watch the time slip away**

"It was kind of sad to see Phineas losing it." Buford admitted

 _ **(Back in Paris)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Well, thanks for the lift.** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Before you leave, we have one more thing for you.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Really? What is it?** **  
** _ **(Perry handcuffs Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Those are handcuffs.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I know what handcuffs are. I'm not an idiot!** _ **(to Perry)**_ **And not one word outta you.** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Well, there's a list of outstanding violations as long as your arm.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ohh, well, I do have unusually long arms.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **But we're on vacation!** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Oh, don't worry young lady. You'll be able to continue your vacation in 10–20 years.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I'm gonna beat the rap, though. I've been working on a rap-beat-inator.**

"What I can do though is rap!"

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **I just don't know if it works in France. I mean, if you see the electrical outlets here, I wouldn't even know where to start.** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Hold it right there!** _ **(She holds up what looks like a ray of some sort)**_ **Step away from the evil scientist!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Vanessa! I'm** _ **so**_ **proud of you! You** _ **are**_ **evil!** **  
** _ **(They commandeer Perry's hovercraft)**_ **  
** **Vanessa:** **I'm not evil. Just get in the car before they find out this is only a hair dryer.** **  
** _ **(They take off)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **This is a hair dryer?** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Yeah. I got it in Tokyo.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Cool! But they didn't know it was a hair dryer when you pointed it at them, so...that means you're little evil!** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Okay, Dad. Maybe I'm a little evil.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **I knew it!** _ **(He cries in joy)**_ **That's okay... I'm not gonna cry...** **  
** **Vanessa:** **Dad.**

"That was one of the best bonding times we shared!" Doof cried

 **Major Monogram:** **Well, guess we could kiss that pair of handcuffs good bye. I don't about you, but I'm gonna go take in a review. See you back in the States.** **  
** _ **(He leaves Perry behind)**_

 _ **(Back on the island Phineas is seen in a giant hole digging with hands)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(Desperately)**_ **There, There's got to be some minerals or something down here that we can use! I mean, we can't...we can't just be** _ **stuck**_ **here!**

 _ **(Isabella walks away and cries until Ferb comes and gives her a handkerchief)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Thanks, Ferb. I just don't know what to do, I mean...we were in Paris! The most romantic city in the world, and...** _ **(She sobs)**_ **he didn't even notice me!** _ **(She blows in the handkerchief)**_ **I just feel like giving up, and look at him!**

Phineas started to feel guilty, "We can always go back there someday." He offered. He glanced at Marie and blushed. Isabella followed his line of sight and blush to, "You know…for our…"

"I would like that." Isabella said shyly

 **** _ **(Phineas' head appears out of the hole he'd been digging, holding up a yellow sponge and a pink starfish)**_

" _Are you ready kids?"_

"Who are you talking to?"

 _"I can't hear you..."_

"What do you want to hear anyway?"

 _"Oh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"_

"Who? What this about a pineapple?"

 _"SpongeBob SquarePants!"_

"Is that the person you're singing about?"

 __ _"Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!"_

"You're singing about a sponge?"

 _"SpongeBob SquarePants!_ _  
_ _If nautical nonsense be something you wish..."_

 __"STOP!" Everyone yelled, nobody could take the randomness anymore, "What are you singing about?" Kai asked

" _An inside/undersea/parallel/alternate universe joke. No big deal."_

"I don't feel so safe in this room anymore." Isabeall whispered to Phineas

" _Oh come on! It's a joke!"_

 **** **Phineas:** **Look! A sponge and a starfish! There's gotta be something we can make out of this! Ah! Oh no, that's ridiculous!** _ **(He tosses them before going back down in the hole)**_

" _Well played Disney, well played."_

 **** **Isabella:** **It's as if I don't exist! I would give anything if he would just sit down with me and enjoy this beautiful sunset.**

 _ **(Ferb walks away and Phineas runs over to her)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(Desperately)**_ **We, we, we could—We, we we could dig a tunnel under the ocean and then we could, uh, we could...we can, we can...we...we** _ **can't**_ **. I can't...I can't believe there's nothing we can do to get off of this...** _ **(He sighs before he sits beside Isabella and says sadly)**_ **I guess at least we can sit and watch this beautiful sunset.**

"It was quite the sunset." Phineas said

 **** _ **(Isabella stares at him for a second, realizing something)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **No.** **  
** **Phineas:** **What?** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(She stands)**_ **No, you are** _ **not**_ **going to enjoy this beautiful sunset!** **  
** **Phineas:** **I'm not?** **  
** **Isabella:** **You built a rollercoaster through downtown** **!** **You made giant tree-house robots** **!** **You traveled through time for crying out loud** **!** _ **Twice!**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **But, Isabella, there's nothing here for me to work with.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Well, that's not the Phineas Flynn that I fell in...** _ **(She pauses, and quickly rephrases what she was going to say)**_ **to...this...situation with.**

" _Damn it! I was so close to!"_

 **Isabella:** **You showed us all in Ferb's map how this is possible and I'm not gonna let you sit there and -** **  
** **Phineas:** **Ferb's map!** _ **(He jumps up)**_ **That's it! Isabella, you're the best!** _ **(He hugs her before turning to Ferb, unknowingly leaving Isabella in a trance)**_ **Hey Ferb. Let's see that map again.**

 _ **(Ferb unfolds the map and covers the whole island)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Okay. We're here, and we need to go there. And we've got about... I'd say eleven minutes. Isabella, grab Madagascar and bring it over here to Ohio. Now Candace, you grab the Andes and fold it over the Main Greenland.** **  
** **Candace:** **You know, folding the map doesn't actually make these places closer together.** **  
** **Phineas:** **I know, I know! Crease it here. Buford, Australia over to Africa. Baljeet, Hawaii to Japan.** _ **(Baljeet pulls the map)**_ **No, no, East, East! Don't go West, you'll rip it! All right...now fold it here. Buford, one more crease down this line.** **  
** **Candace:** **Phineas.. I don't see how an origami unicorn is getting us off this island!** **  
** **Phineas:** **It's not done yet, it needs one more fold.** _ **(He makes the last fold)**_ **There you go! Now wait...** **  
** _ **(The map turns into a monster, a Ferris wheel and finally a paper airplane)**_

"Now that was amazing. I don't even know how we did that." Phineas admitted

" _It wasn't me by the way."_

 **** **Candace:** **Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! There's** _ **no**_ **way I'm getting on that plane!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Wait, wait. It's gonna work, you'll see!** **  
** **Isabella:** **I think it's beautiful.** **  
** **Candace:** **Don't encourage him.** _ **(to Phineas)**_ **Phineas, this is crazy!** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(He grabs the rubber band and puts it around the two trees)**_ **Car-salesman crazy or mattress-salesman crazy?** **  
** **Candace:** **I don't know... Neither!** **  
** **Phineas:** **That's a relief. Isabella, Baljeet, get the seats!** **  
** **Isabella:** **You got it!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Buford, grab the ox!** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(Lifting the ox)**_ **This is the only way I'll actually hold him.** **  
** **Candace:** **Phineas, it's made of paper!** **  
** **Phineas:** **So was the Declaration of Independence!** **  
** **Candace:** **Yeah, but it wouldn't fly over 2,000 miles of water! Buford, why are you helping?** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(carrying the ox)**_ **How often do you get to lift an ox?**

"You are the most friendly and helpful antagonist I have ever seen."

 **** **Candace:** **Have I taken crazy pills?! There's no engine!** **  
** **Phineas:** **True, but we do have this rubber band made of super special den-si-ty!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Just believe we can, Candace!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Yes. Clay Aiken and Chaka Khan cannot both be wrong.** **  
** **Candace:** **Look, apparently I missed some big musical number with Clay Aiken and Chaka Khan, okay? So can we please stop using that as a reference?!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Well, it was just very inspirational.** **  
** **Candace:** **I'm not getting on that plane!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Candace, you won't see Jeremy again 'till we get off the island.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(She thinks)**_ **I get a window seat!**

"Love wins over all." Milly swooned

 **** _ **(The ox pulls the plane backward, stretching the rubber band)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **You know, my horoscope said I would be riding an ox today. But I thought that was a figure of speech!** **  
** **Phineas:** **A little bit further... A little bit further... Okay, that'll have to do. We're almost out of time; everybody on the plane!** **  
** _ **(Everyone gets on)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Everyone ready? It's now or never!** **  
** **Candace:** **Actually Phineas, I-I changed my mind. I wanna stay here.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, that's just the mortal terror talking.**

"As it should." Candace said

 **** **Candace:** **Well, yeah...that's what I was...** **  
** **Phineas:** **Buford, pull the release!** **  
** **Buford:** **Whatever, dude. It's not gonna -** **  
** _ **(The paper plane zooms off towards America's east coast, everybody screams)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **It's working! Look!** **  
** **Buford:** **Yes, yes, yes!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **What are you so happy about?** **  
** **Buford:** **I finally ate a bug!** **  
** **Phineas:** **It looks like we're gonna make it! There's the Tri-State Area!**

 **Substitute teacher announcer:** **Welcome to the 27th annual Substitute Teacher Day. We begin by...** **  
** _ **(The paper plane passes him)**_ **  
** **Substitute teacher announcer:** **All right, who's the wise guy?**

"Us!" Phineas said jokingly

 **Phineas:** **Hang on, everyone! We're coming in!** **  
** _ **(The paper airplane crashes)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Actually, that's probably our best landing of the day. Great, the sun's still up and we're only five blocks away. Come on!** **  
** _ **(They see the road construction)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Oh no! Road construction!** **  
** **Phineas:** **It took mom an hour get around that ditch!** **  
** **Isabella:** **There's only 58 seconds 'til sundown!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **What kind of watch is that?**

"A normal one what did you think it was?"

"I was frustrated ok!"

 **** **Buford:** **No, no, no! Ohh, I actually thought we're gonna make it! I thought we were gonna do the impossible. For one shining moment...summer was whatever** _ **I**_ **wanted to make of it!**

"Like it usually is."

 **Buford:** **Wait...this is my house! Hold on one second! I'm givin' everybody back their bikes!** **  
** **Phineas:** **But Buford, we didn't make it back to our yard.** _ **(Sees a ramp on the construction)**_ **I get it! Everybody, get your bikes!**

"That is so dangerous." Linda said

"And convenient." Lawrence added

"Lawrence!"

"I'm just surprised he kept those bikes for all these years."

 _ **Getting the bikes)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **Here's Ferb's, here's Phineas's, here's Isabella's... And here's, uh... A recumbent? Really?** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Studies say it is better for your back.** **  
** **Buford:** **How come I don't have to stand in line to bully you?**

"That's because you were the only bully in Danville."

"Oh yeah. I bully the bullies."

 **** **Candace:** **Wait, Buford never took my bike.** **  
** **Buford:** **Noted.** **  
** **Phineas:** **There's one right there!** **  
** **Candace:** **Phineas, I'm not gonna get on a silly little tricycle.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Candace, we're in a hurry. Just get on the trike, and we'll...** **  
** **Candace:** **There's no way I'm gonna-** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(angrily)**_ _ **GET ON THE TRIKE!**_

" _And that's the sigh of a special episode!"_

 _ **(Everyone pedals their way toward the ramp)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Phineas, there's no way we're gonna clear that!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Just** _ **believe**_ __ **we can, Candace!** **  
** **Candace:** **Is that another Chaka Khan reference? Because I thought I was clear...** **  
** **Phineas:** **You don't have to hear the song, Candace, you just have to believe!** **  
** **Isabella:** **I believe!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **I believe!** **  
** **Buford:** **I believe!** **  
** _ **(Ferb thumbs up)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Okay...I belieeeeeeve!** **  
** _ **(They fly on the air)**_

 _ **(In the car)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **What a long day. It seem like the sun would never go down.**

"Quite literally too for some."

 **(AN:you can skip this part to the end if you want, cause I have nothing to comment on this part and the song)**

 _ **(In the Flynn-Fletcher backyard)**_ **  
** **Ginger** **:** **Where are they?** **  
** **Gretchen** **:** **Don't worry, they'll make it.** **  
** **Milly** **:** **Seven seconds 'till sundown!** **  
** **Holly** **:** **Maybe it'll help if we count!** **  
** **Fireside Girls:** **Five! Four! Three! Two!** **  
** _ **(Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford land in the yard)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **ONE!** **  
** _ **(The sun sets as everyone starts celebrating)**_

 **Singers:** **Cause you believe we can...**

 **Phineas:** **Yeah! We did it! Oh my gosh, that was so great!  
** **Isabella:** _ **(She hugs Phineas)**_ **You guys are amazing!**

 _ **(Linda and Lawrence arrive)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Mom, Dad!  
** **Linda:** **Oh, for us? That is so nice. And Candace, so responsible. Not a single phone call.  
** **Candace:** **Well, I didn't have international coverage.  
** **Linda:** **What?  
** **Candace:** **Never mind!  
** **Linda:** **Anyway, the party looks great. But you would not believe what a long day we've had. I think we're gonna turn in early.  
** **Lawrence:** **You guys just enjoy the party, okay?  
** **Phineas:** **All right, you've heard him. Let's enjoy this party!  
** **(Song:** **Summer Belongs to You** **)**

 **Phineas:** **It's been a long, long day** **  
** **And there were moments when I doubted** **  
** **Isabella:** **That we'd ever reach the point** **  
** **Where we could laugh and sing about it**

 **Phineas & Isabella:** **Now the sun has set on this,** **  
** **Another extraordinary day** **  
** **And when it comes around again** **  
** **You know I'll say**

 **Tell me what you wanna do today** **  
** **All we need is a place to start** **  
** **If we have heart, we'll make it** **  
** **'Cause we're not messin' around (we're not messin' around)**

 **Yes we can dream it, do it, build it, make it** **  
** **I know we can really take it** **  
** **To the limit before the sun goes down**

 **Phineas:** **As soon as you wake up you gotta make your move** **  
** **Isabella:** **Don't miss the beat, just get into the groove** **  
** **Phineas & Isabella:** **The sun is shinin', there's a lot that you can do (a lot that you can do)**

 **There's a world of possibilities outside your door** **  
** **Why settle for a little, you can get much more** **  
** **Don't need an invitation, every day is new** **  
** **Yes, it's true**

 **Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Summer belongs to you (Summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Summer belongs to everyone, so have some fun** **  
** **There's nothing better to do** **  
** **Summer belongs to you**

 **Candace:** **All right, I'm taking a verse.  
** **Phineas:** **Be my guest!**

 **Candace:** **I traveled halfway 'round the world** **  
** **And almost turned and ran away** **  
** **But you helped me get my courage back** **  
** **So now I've got to say**

 **That though I've often thought of you** **  
** **As just a nuisance and a bother** **  
** **Today I can't imagine** **  
** **Having better little brothers**

 **And you gotta believe in something** **  
** **So today I believed in you** **  
** **And you came through, we made it** **  
** **I've never been so proud** **  
** **Phineas:** **(never been so proud)**

 **Candace:** **I know at first it seemed implausible** **  
** **But we accomplished the impossible** **  
** **Now there's something that I've got to say out loud**

 **Time is what you make of it, so take a chance** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **That's it!**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Life is full of music so you ought to dance** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **She's got it!**_ **  
** **Candace:** **The world's a stage and it is time for your debut**

 **Phineas:** _ **By Jove, I think she's got it!**_

 **Candace:** **Don't waste a minute sitting on that chair** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **Yeah!**_ **  
** **Candace:** **The world is callin' so, just get out there** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **That's what I'm talking about!**_ **  
** **Candace:** **You can see forever so your dreams are all in view** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yes it's true**

 **Phineas, Isabella & Candace:** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Summer belongs to everyone, so have some fun** **  
** **There's nothing better to do**

 _ **(The following lyrics have dialogue under)**_ **  
** **Phineas & Isabella:** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Summer belongs to boys and girls all around the world** **  
** **We wouldn't say it if it wasn't true** **  
** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)**

 **Jeremy:** **Hey, Candace!  
** **Candace:** **Jeremy! You came back early!  
** **Jeremy:** **Well, I missed my girlfriend.  
** **Candace:** **Oooh! I like the sound of that!  
** **Jeremy:** **Besides you forgot something in France.  
** **Candace:** **I did? What?  
** **Jeremy:** **This.  
** _ **(Jeremy kisses Candace)**_

 **Ferb:** **Baby, baby, baby, baby** **  
** **Phineas & Isabella:** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Whatever you want to do, you make the rules** **  
** **You got the tools to see it through** **  
** **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)**

 **Summer belongs to you (summer belongs to you)** **  
** **Just remember that you can do it and when you're through it** **  
** **Will change your point of view** **  
** **Summer belongs to you!** **  
** _ **(Scene shows clips from "**_ _ **Rollercoaster**_ _ **", "**_ _ **The Fast and the Phineas**_ _ **", "**_ _ **Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror**_ _ **", "**_ _ **Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)**_ _ **", "**_ _ **Flop Starz**_ _ **", "**_ _ **Mom's Birthday**_ _ **", and "**_ _ **The Baljeatles**_ _ **")**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, where's Perry?**

 _ **(Back in Paris)**_ **  
** **Waiter:** _ **(to Perry)**_ **Would you like your** _ **(imitates Perry's chatter)**_ **with or without fromage?**

"Somebody was having quite the vacation. Can't believe that he got a date and an order despite bring you know, a platypus."

"That's how awesome Perry is." Phineas grinned

" _Well that's done, phew that was the longest I have ever done. Hmm Christmas is coming up…the Christmas special AWAY!"_

"What? Christmas? It's the middle of summer! What are you taking about!"

 **As always, I hope you enjoy and drop a review with what episode you would like to see.**


	7. Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything I write**

" _Merry Christmas!"_

"It's the middle of summer…" Somebody muttered

" _For you maybe, for me it's Christmas. Let's celebrate with a Christmas episode shall we?"_

"We are never going to understand you are we?"

" _Nope!"_

 **(Song:** **Phineas and Ferb Theme** **)** **  
** **Chorus:** **There are two wondrous weeks for our winter vacation,** **  
** **Before New Years and school comes to end it,** **  
** **So the holiday challenge for kids of all nations,** **  
** **Is finding a good way to spend it...**

 **Phineas** **:** _ **(He and Ferb are in their beds, on top of a massive ski jump)**_ **Ahh! Christmas Eve. It was a great idea to climb back into bed this morning. Oh! I almost forgot! Helmets! All set? Let's do this thing.**

"So that was what the two of you were doing!" Candace realised

"Somebody got up early for their project." Lawrence raised an eyebrow

"Lawrence, you're suppose to be disapproving!"

"I don't really see the point Linda. It's been years since this has happened and obviously nothing terrible has happened to them. We might as well accept this."

 **Bowling For Soup** **and Chorus:** **Like maybe...** **  
** **Bowling For Soup:** **Turning our beds into dual toboggans,** **  
** **And sliding down a ski jump tower!** **  
** **Building a snowman the size of** **Colossus** **,** **  
** **Or giving a** **yeti** **a shower!**

"Why do you want to give a yeti a shower? How is that in anyway fun?" Baljeet asked

"Well, we wanted bragging rights. I mean how many people can say that they gave a yeti a shower?"

"Well I won't say I gave a yeti a shower but some one else comes to mind…" Baljeet said as he glanced at Buford

 **** **Chorus:** **Fa, la, la, la!**

 **Bowling For Soup:** **Staging a snowball fight,** **  
** **With giant catapults,** **  
** **And snow angels that really fly!**

"More like a snowball war!"

 **** **Rocking a Christmas carol,** **  
** **Wrapping a present,**

"Somebody wanted to give their crush a present." Milly teased

 **** **Or just shoveling snow off the drive!** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **Well, they can't all be fun.**_

"Not that we ever cared about that during the summer."

 **Bowling For Soup:** **As you can see there's a whole lot of stuff to do before school starts next year,** **  
** **So stick with us** **  
** **'Cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna spread some Christmas cheer!**

 **So stick with us** **  
** **'Cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna spread some Christmas cheer!** **  
** **Candace** **:** _ **Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a Christmas special!**_

"Ahh, the title sequence." Phineas smiled

 _ **(**_ _ **Scene opens up showing Phineas and Ferb's bed toboggans land on snow.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **We're slowing down.** **  
** _ **(Ferb presses a button and a rocket appears at the back, which then launches off)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **I...see...why...dogs...enjoy...this...sensation!**

"Hmm, I may take away a bit of what I just said. Boys that was very dangerous."

 _ **(The following scene shifts between Candace's room and a terminal at the airport)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Delayed! What do you mean delayed?** **  
** **Linda** **:** **Candace, honey, the snow storm has delayed your grandparents' plane. Your father and I have to wait here at the** **airport** **until they arrived. It may be hours...** **  
** **Candace:** **But I need your help! Stacy told me that Marcos told her that Jeremy told him that he got the perfect gift for me!**

"That is quite the chain."

 **** **Linda:** _ **(sarcastically)**_ **Oh no. How will you manage?**

"Thanks mom, for the support." Candace said as she rolled her eyes

"You do this every other day back then. It was starting to get repetitive."

 **** **Candace:** **Mom, think! If Jeremy found the perfect gift for me, then I** _ **have**_ **to find the perfect gift for him!** **  
** **Linda:** **I thought you already got a gift for Jeremy.** **  
** **Candace:** **I did, but I can't show up with an obvious, stupid present that anyone could've gotten him. The perfect gift means that you totally** _ **get**_ **the other person in the most deep and paying-attention-y way. If his gift to me is perfect and my gift to him isn't, he's gonna be so hurt and insulted, and think I'm lame and thoughtless, and he'll stop liking me!** _ **(bawling)**_

"…That escalated quickly."

"You know I won't do that." Jeremy squeezed Candace's hand

"I know. It was just teenager me's low self confidence."

 **** **Linda:** **Oh, Candace, honey, I don't think... You poor thing.** _ **(pauses; sighs)**_ **Forgive me, boys. What are your brothers up to?**

"Not that we mind but way to throw us into the fire mom." Phineas said dryly

"It was the only way to help her." Linda defended herself

"Did it work?" Kai asked

 **** **Candace:** _ **(slipping into busting mode)**_ **Not a thing. Which is weird. What** _ **are**_ **they up to?** _ **(Talks fast)**_ **Love you, Mom, gotta run, bye!**

"I can't believe that worked. Hmm what's the opposite of escalate?"

 **** _ **(Candace hangs up then peers out of her room with a glare. The camera pans down the hall and stops at the boys' bedroom door.)**_

 _ **(Scene then shifts to outside where a street is being plowed.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Plow!** **  
** _ **(Ferb hits a few buttons, the bed toboggan avoids the plow, and it goes off of a snow ramp)**_

"Those gaming skills sure came in handy huh?" Phineas said as he nudged his brother's side

 _ **(Candace sneaks down the hall towards Phineas and Ferb's room)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Ee-ee-ee-ee...**

"I need to change the way I laugh."

 **Phineas:** **House!** **  
** _ **(Ferb hits a button on his remote, and the boys' window opens up)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **We're coming in too fast!** **  
** _ **(Ferb pulls a lever and deploys parachute)**_

 **Candace:** **Those two are sooooo busted!** _ **(yanks open door, realizes the boys are there)**_ **...For lolly-gagging in bed?** _ **(The parachute deflates outside)**_ **That's not like you two.**

"Can I ever expect anything normal from the two of you?"

"We stopped doing normal years ago." Phineas said, shrugging.

 **** **Phineas:** **We've been working on a way to seize the day, while also not having to get out of bed so early. I think we can cross that one off our To-do List.** **  
** **Candace:** **Let me see that.** _ **(She snatches Ferb's clipboard)**_ **What is this? Number one was write letters to Santa Claus. What, did you start this To-Do list when you were three years old?!** **  
** **Phineas:** **We write letters to Santa Claus every year. Don't you?**

"We still do. He is really after all,he even writes back."

"Wait, Santa Claus is really?" Kai asked, disbelieving

 **** **Candace:** **Wah-hahahaha! Letters to Santa?! Ahahahaha! That's for little kids! Hahaha!**

"Wow, that was mean of you." Kai frowned

"Yes it was, I'm sorry boys." Candace apologised

"Don't worry, we knew you didn't mean any of it and we were little kids"

 **** **Phineas:** **Santa's not just for little kids, Candace.** **  
** **Candace:** **Okay, fine. Let's assume there is a Santa Claus.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well of course there is. There's been a ton of reported sightings. Oregon, 1978. Northern Scotland, 1954. The so-called Santa Cloth found in Istanbul, 1912.** **  
** _ **(Phineas shows Candace a slide show of the reported sightings)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Santa's one of our biggest heroes. Talk about making the most out of one day. Imagine flying around the whole world, delivering toys and gifts to everybody in one night. Ferb and I have done some cool stuff in our time, but that, that's something else.**

"Hmm, now that you put it like that, it really is." Kai agreed

 **** **Candace:** **Again, let's assume there is a Santa Claus. He's got it easy. The hard part is trying to figure out what to get people want when they don't write you a letter, telling you exactly what they want most. And by "people" I mean "Jeremy", and by "you", I mean "me"... and uh, no the rest is pretty much literal.**

"Smooth Candace, very smooth." Isabella said dryly

 **** **Phineas:** **Well I'm sure Jeremy would get exactly what he wanted. If he wrote his own letter to Santa.** **  
** **Candace:** **Bwahahaha, letters to Santa!?** _ **(Laughs)**_ **That's for little kids.** _ **(Laughs)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Wow. She's lapped us.** **  
** **Candace:** **Wait that's it! I'll trick Jeremy into writing a letter to Santa, so I can sneak a peek and learn what he wants straight from the horse's mouth. And by "mouth" I mean "pen", and by "horse" I mean Jeremy, and... yeah we're good.**

"Again, very smooth Candace."

"Quiet eyeball girl!"

"What?!"

"Nothing!" Candace said quickly

" _They'll see it eventually you know."_

"Oh please no." Candace mumbled into her hands

 **** **Phineas:** **Or you could ask him directly what he wants to avoid any unnecessary complications.** **  
** _ **(Candace just stares at him, then laughs off his idea)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **You are such a child sometimes.** _ **(She leaves the boys' room)**_

"Well she's right." Phineas said, "You don't ask someone what they want for Christmas after all."

 **Phineas:** **You know, Ferb, just think of all the wonderful things Santa does for us, and he never asks for anything in return.**

" _Actually he ask for people to believe in him in return, children especially."_

 **Phineas:** **Wait, that's it! Ferb, are you thinking what I'm thinking?** **  
** _ **(Ferb hands Phineas a blueprint. Phineas studies it for a second)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **As usual, we're...Oh! Ugh! Man, no, that's not at all what I was thinking! Oh! Dude!** **  
** _ **(Ferb turns the blueprint right-side up)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh. Yeah. That's it. I'll call in the troops, you wonder where Perry is.**

"What did you see Uncle Phineas?" Thomas asked

"It was terrible," Phineas shivered, "The design was all wrong… I can't…I can't say what I saw."

 **** _ **(As Phineas leaves the room, Ferb makes a thoughtful face)**_

 **Fa la la la la la, la la la la la la, fa la la la la la la!** **  
** _ **(Perry puts a top hat on the snowman outside the Flynn-Fletcher house. It comes to li**_

 _ **fe, a la "Frosty the Snowman")**_ **  
** **Snowman:** **Hello! Wintertime's fun! Follow me!**

"That is amazing!" Marie squealed

 _ **(Motions to Perry, begins to walk toward the road. Perry follows him.)**_ **Come on! Follow me! ...plow!** **  
** _ **(The camera is on Perry, so we do not see the snowman's demise. Perry covers his eyes. All that is left of the snowman is his carrot nose)**_

"Frosty NO!" Marie cried

"Is it wrong that I care more about how they made a big pile of snow come to life than said big pile of snow's death?" Baljeet asked

"YES!"

"Oh, ok."

 _ **(Perry comes out of an elevator into the O.W.C.A.'s headquarters)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram** **:** **Ah, Agent P. there you are. Merry Christmas. Oh great, you brought snacks.** **  
** _ **(Major Monogram eats the snowman's carrot nose)**_

"Why didn't you tell me Agent P?" Monogram asked, looking a bit green in the face

Chatter

"Oh right, you're a Platypus, you don't talk."

 **** **Major Monogram:** **Wintertime's fun, follow me.** **  
** **Carl** **:** **Secret Santa time. Agent P. Ah, here you are.** **  
** _ **(Perry unwraps his gift)**_ **  
** **Carl:** **Oh, a "Sal Tuscany Christmas". You lucked out, Agent P. Your secret Santa has exquisite taste.** **  
** **Major Monogram:** _ **(Glaring)**_ **Criminy, Carl. It's supposed to be a** _ **secret**_ **Santa.** **  
** **Carl:** **What? No! I didn't get it for him.** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Huh, right.** _ **(Chuckles)**_

"Why did you think it was me any was me?"

"Well you know everything about the agency, therefore, you should know what Agent P wants for Christmas. That and you look pretty smug"

 **** **Carl:** **No, really I didn't!** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **The more you protest, the more we know you gave it to him.** **  
** **Carl:** **Fine! Think what you want! Whatever!** _ **(Huffs in anger)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Okay, Scrooge. We got it.** **  
** _ **(Monogram's wrist communicator sounds an alarm)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Uh-oh, sorry Agent P. I guess evil never takes a holiday. If you'll direct your attention to the screen. Good morning Agent P. A wise man once said... eyes on the screen.**

"…Did you really just call yourself a wise man?"

"What!? A wise man really did say it."

"Yeah, I heard of it before." Buford agreed

 **** _ **(Perry looks back to see Carl filming Monogram, who's holding a cutout of his normal uniform. Perry then turns back around)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **A wise man once said, "Evil never takes a holiday". We don't know what Doofenshmirtz is up to. But he's evil, and evil people hate Christmas. It's a cliche, sad cliche. Good luck, Agent P, and Merry Christmas.** **  
** _ **(Carl's butt appears on the screen Perry was watching)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Carl! Stop filming your butt, film mine. It's a party!**

Angry Chatter

"What it's a party, we aren't going to wait for you to come back."

 _ **(Jeremy's cell phone rings, waking him up)**_ **  
** **Jeremy** **:** **Hello?** **  
** **Candace:** **Happy Christmas Eve, my little drummer boy.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Hey, Candace. You know I don't play drums. I play guitar.** **  
** **Candace:** **I know silly-billy.**

"You really need to work on your nicknames." Stacy said dryly

 **Candace:** **So, Whatcha doin?**

Candace felt Isabella's glare, "What?!"

"It my catchphrase, get your own."

 **** _ **(Isabella puts down newspaper, and looks around, sensing that someone has used her catchphrase)**_ **  
** **Jeremy:** **Not sleeping anymore. How 'bout you?** **  
** **Candace:** **I just thought it was the perfect day to show some Christmas spirit.**

"Christmas spirit? How ironic."

"You really know where to hit huh, Kai?"

 **Like when you were young and wrote letters to Santa...** _ **(Phineas and Ferb are seen hosting some of their thing to thank Santa)**_ **Would you keep that lame junk away from my window!?** _ **(to Jeremy)**_ **I'm sorry, what was I saying?** **  
** **Jeremy:** **...Writing letters to Santa Claus?** **  
** **Candace:** **Bwahahaha, letters to Santa!?**

"I found it weird when you started laughing, now I understand at least where your coming from."

 **Oh! Brilliant idea. Let's get together and write letters to Santa, and be very specific, within a reasonable price range. For fun. I'll be over in a bit.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Candace, this isn't one of these thing...** **  
** _ **(Candace hangs up on Jeremy)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Hehehe, he doesn't suspect a thing.** _ **(pause)**_ **I just hope this works...** _ **(sits on her bed)**_ **'Cause I don't have a clue.**

"Smooth, very smooth."

"Is thing revenge for stealing, I mean borrowing your catch phrase?"

"Yes, yes it is."

 **(Song:** **What Does He Want?** **)** **  
** **Candace:** **What kind of present does he dream about?** **  
** **A leather wallet or a singing trout** **  
** **What I should get him is a mystery** **  
** **And if it's lame, will he still want me?**

 **Stacy/** **Jenny** **:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **A DVD or some video games** **  
** **Stacy/Jenny:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **Or maybe one of those new digital frames** **  
** **Stacy/Jenny:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **Something to fit his personality** **  
** **Stacy/Jenny:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **The perfect present is eluding me**

 **Candace:** **My friends all tell me that I shouldn't obsess** **  
** **But how can I avoid the stress?** **  
** **I need to know, but right now all I can do is guess**

 **Stacy/Jenny:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **A fancy cell phone or a tube of grout** **  
** **Stacy/Jenny:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **I don't know, but I'll figure it out** **  
** **Stacy/Jenny:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **Rear-view mirror glasses as seen on TV** **  
** **Stacy/Jenny:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **I only wish I knew what he got me...** **  
'Cause I hear it's perfect.  
** **What does he want?**

"Those are some great friends you have there." Kai praised, "Not everyone will come to their friends house to sing backup before ."

 _ **(Music: "**_ _ **S'Winter" (instrumental)**_ _ **)**_ **  
** _ **(On top of the Flynn-Fletcher house is a giant structure, welcoming Santa)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Awesome! Phase one complete. Hey guys.** **  
** _ **(Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet walk up)**_ **  
** **Buford** **:** **Cool clubhouse.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh, no. This is not how you would say a "clubhouse". This is the ultimate rest and relaxation lounge, perfectly tailored to the jolly, rubenesque world traveler.** _ **(Awkward pause)**_ **It's a rest stop for Santa.** **  
** **Isabella** **:** **Oh, I see.** **  
** **Baljeet** **:** **Oh, why did you not just say that?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Highlights include: sauna, massage table, satellite television, elliptical machine to work off all the milk and cookies, milk and cookies, reindeer feeding station, and of course, beard purifier.**

"Someone went all out to thank their hero." Linda teased

 **But this is only the beginning. Remember when you wrote letters to Santa asking him for presents?** **  
** **Isabella/Buford/Baljeet:** **Yes.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(from inside)**_ **BWAH HA HA HA HA! LETTERS TO SANTA!? AH HA HA!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Did you always get the presents you asked for?** **  
** **Isabella/Buford/Baljeet:** **Pretty much, yes!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Of course. Now did you ever write a thank-you note to Santa?** **  
** **Isabella/Buford/Baljeet:** **Well, no, but...nobody ever told...** _ **(sighs)**_ **no.**

"Actually, I was always on the naughty list, so I never got presents and never thanked Santa either." Buford shrugged

 **** **Phineas:** **Well, I think it's time someone did something cool for Santa to show him we appreciate everything he does for us. So we're gonna turn the entire city of Danville into a giant, shimmering thank-you card for Santa Claus.** **  
** **Buford:** **So what you're saying is it's not a clubhouse.**

"Come to think of it, I guess you can call it a clubhouse."

 **Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!** **  
** _ **(Perry bursts through Doofenshmirtz's wall)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ah, Perry the Platypus. I have a present for you. And by "present," of course, I mean "trap."** _ **(Perry is wrapped in Christmas lights)**_ **Aw, look how festive you are. Wait, wait, hold on.** _ **(Puts a partridge on Perry's bill)**_ **And a partridge on a Perry** **... the Platypus! Now, Perry the Platypus, behold! The Naughty-inator! When activated, the naughty nectar in these giant glass cylinders will create a massive charged cloud of pure naughtiness. When Santa then makes his list, and checks it twice, everyone in the Tri-State Area will appear to be naughty instead of nice! And no nice equals no Santa equals no Christmas. There's just one tiny, little blemish on my otherwise perfect plan. I don't actually have a problem with Christmas. There's no tragic holiday-related back-story in my past. Christmas was always fine growing up.**

"It was the only moment where my family actually felt like family, even the ocelot one. Ahh go memories."

 **It wasn't great, it wasn't horrible. You see, unlike every other evil scientist, I don't hate Christmas. There are plenty of other holidays I can't stand.** **For example...** **Wait, wait, hold on. I can't get this—** **Uh, for example...**

 **(Song: "** **I Really Don't Hate Christmas** **")** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **You see Valentine's is torture** **  
** **And my birthday is a mess** **  
** **New Year's is a lot of noise, and Arbor Day's a pest** **  
** **Halloween's a horror but I guess I must confess** **  
** **That I really don't hate Christmas!**

 **You see Flag Day is infernal, April Fool's is just a bore,** **  
** **Mardi Gras a waste, unless you own a candy store,** **  
** **All these other holidays I can admit that I abhor** **  
** **But I really don't hate Christmas**

 **Now, it isn't that I like it, all the most I feel ambivalence,** **  
** **But should I really just destroy it? I'll admit that I'm still on the fence** **  
** **It makes me tense!**

 **From the evil scientist community I'm sure to get ejected,** **  
** **But for Christmas I can't seem to summon any true invective,** **  
** **Because what is there to hate? I mean, it's really so subjective.** **  
** **No, I really don't hate Christmas.**

 **I hate puppy dogs and kittens, I hate flowers in the spring,** **  
** **Heck, I even hate the sunshine and the birdies when they sing,** **  
** **I can work up animosity for almost anything** **  
** **Tell me why I don't hate Christmas**

 **Though my childhood was atrocious, Christmas never was that bad, you see,** **  
** **So the most that I can muster is complete and total apathy** **  
** **What's wrong with me?**

 **How can I prove that I'm an evil villain worth his salt** **  
** **When with a holiday so jolly I can't even find a fault?** **  
** **If I didn't feel ambiguous I'd launch a big assault,** **  
** **But I really don't hate Christmas**

 **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **Oh, what the heck. Kickline!**_

 **No, I really...** **  
** **No, I really don't hate Christmas!**

 **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **I have an intense BURNING indifference!**_

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **I didn't even create the Naughty-inator myself because I compulsively, obsessively, just couldn't be bothered. Nah, the plans were mailed to me from Borneo where my Uncle Justin is rumored to be in hiding.**

"This is a really elaborate plan that Santa made," Phineas grinned, "Another reason to respect him."

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **It's really a sweet gift, but how can I destroy Christmas without having a good reason?** _ **(sighs)**_ **Well, I guess I have no choice.** _ **(Presses a button and a chair pops out of the ground and he flops in it)**_ **But to sit and wait for a reason.**

Everyone fell out of their chair. "Um you do know that being evil also means hatching evil plans and going through with them without a reason right?" Kai asked, sweatdropping.

"Really?"

"Dad was never evil, he was just a good guy pretending to be evil." Vanessa explained

 _ **(Scene opens up showing Phineas and Ferb on a podium)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Alright everyone, I want to thank you all for helping. Grab yourself some decorations, and let's get our grateful on.**

"It seems like you're the only person in Danville that doesn't believe in Santa, Candace." Kai noticed

 **(Song:** **That Christmas Feeling** **)** **  
** **We're hanging the star above our tree,** **  
** **And don't it look lovely?** **  
** **The lights and the tinsel sparkling for you!**

 **I got that Christmas feeling,** **  
** **I take it everywhere I go.** **  
** **And make that Christmas feeling grow!**

 **So warm by the fireplace we glow,** **  
** **All cozy and happy.** **  
** **Hang all the stockings in a row with you!**

 **I got that Christmas feeling,** **  
** **I take it everywhere I go!** **  
** **And make that Christmas feeling grow.**

 **It feels like Christmas (Christmas),** **  
** **Christmas (Christmas),** **  
** **Come on, I know you don't want to miss this!**

 **Let's make that Christmas feeling grow,** **  
** **Oh! Let's make that Christmas feeling grow!**

 **Candace:** **Got that Christmas feeling, tricked Jeremy into writing a letter to Santa.**

"I don't think that's what the Christmas feeling is about Candace." Jeremy teased

 **Candace:** **Yeah, yeah, it's that old Christmas feeling, singing what I'm doing yeah, yeah.** _ **(to Jeremy)**_ **Hello my little red nosed reindeer, ready to write our letters to Santa?  
** **Jeremy:** **Hey, in a minute Candace. I'm right in the middle of something here. I was thinking you could maybe help me finish decorating. First.  
** **Candace:** **No! It'll be too late! The stores will all be closed! And by "stores" I mean "the post office", and "by buying a gift", I mean "mailing the letters".  
** **Jeremy:** **You didn't say "buying a gift".  
** **Candace:** **Oh, good. That would have been a dead giveaway.**

"It is a dead giveaway, I just didn't want to spoil your fun." Jeremy said

 **** **Phineas:** **Hey, everyone! The next decoration delivery is here!  
** **Jeremy:** **The tinsel!  
** **Candace:** **W-wait, come back! Our letters! We have to write them quickly! I already licked the stamps!**

 _ **(Back at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **You know, all I really want for Christmas is the ability to hate Christmas. Is that too much to ask?**

"Yes! How can you hate Christmas?" Phineas asked

"I don't! I just have a burning indifference, even now!" Doof said to defend himself

 **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(knock on door)**_ **Hmm, were you expecting anyone?**

"Really? Squawk!" Maggie cried

"I know, arch-nemesis that barges in to foil my evil plans every day is expecting someone, stupid I know."

 **** **Carolers:** **We wish you a Merry Christmas** **  
** **We wish you a Merry Christmas** **  
** **We wish you a Merry Christmas** **  
** **And a Happy New Year** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ah, yes. How can you hate Christmas listening to that?** **  
** **Carolers:** **Now bring us some figgy pudding** **  
** **Now bring us some figgy pudding** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **"Bring us figgy pudding."** _ **(chuckles)**_ **Well you can say please. But you know whatever great. Figgy pudding.** **  
** **Carolers:** **We won't go until we get some** **  
** **We won't go until we get some** **  
** **We won't go until we get some** **  
** **So bring some right here.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Whoa! What! Are you threatening me?** **  
** **Carolers:** **We won't go until we get some.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **How dare you! No one barges into my home and demand desserts. What sort of plan is that anyway? Let's go to a stranger's house and insult him in song form and refuse to leave until he hands over a fruit dish that no one's prepared since the 16** **th** **century. Well, if that's how things are, I have my reasons to push this button. So long, Christmas, you're Feliz Navi-dead to me!** _ **(Pushes button)**_ _ **(chuckles)**_ **See? Uh, it was Spanish.** **  
** _ **(Roof opens and the Naughty-inator shoots into the sky)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(Chuckles)**_ **'Tis the season to be naughty!** **  
** **Old Caroler:** **Can I at least get a diet soda?**

"Wonder if they were sent by Santa to give you a reason to hate Christmas?"

" _They were. You should see how elaborate some of his plans can be. They can give Dumbledore a run for his money."_

"Dumblewho?" Gretchen asked

 _ **(Out in space the satellite reads the naughty and sends it to the North Pole)**_

"Are you ignoring me?"

 **** **Blay'n** **:** **What do we have here? Oh! Tsk! Tsk!**

"You are! Fine be that way, I don't care anymore."

 **** **Clewn't** **:** **Oh Blay'n. Oop! What do you have there?** **  
** **Blay'n:** **Oh just a bunch of last minute naughties. It's a shame, huh Clewn't?** **  
** **Clewn't:** **Kids! They get worse every year. Ungrateful little... I'll go sit in the dark and mutter to myself.**

"That is depressing…and a little unusual."

 **** **Burdensome elf** **:** **He wasn't always that way. In fact, he used to love kids. In fact, he used to be where the action is. Toy making. In fact, he was the fastest, best toymaker of them all. In fact, they used to call him "Clewn't, the fastest, best toymaker of them all." Though they just called him "Clewn't" for short, which also happens to be his name so the nickname thing was a kind of a moot point. In fact...** _ **(The camera zooms out to see Blay'n gone)**_ **"Just go up and talk to the first perso** **n you see. That's how you make friends." I'm never going to another seminar.** __

 _ **(Scene cuts to Candace walking up to Phineas and Ferb)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Okay, listen, you twerps. Your ridiculous efforts to thank Santa Claus are getting in the way of my ridiculous efforts to get Jeremy into writing a letter to Santa Claus. So why don't you... Hey, what's with the clouds?** **  
** _ **(Sky turns gray making it snow)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Whoa! Is it me, or does the sky look really dark and ominous, as if its foreshadowing events which will have a negative impact on our lives.** **  
** _ **(A line of mail trucks pull up)**_ **  
** **Mailman:** **I'm sorry kids, looks like everyone in** **Danville** **got a return on their letters to Santa. They've all been stamped "naughty".** **  
** **Phineas:** **What?** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Hey, Candace, look! I did it. I wrote a letter to Santa saying in great detail what gift I want most.** **  
** **Candace:** **Cool! Thank you my Little Town of Bethlehem. I'll just hang onto that for you.** **  
** **Mailman:** **Oh, I'll take that buddy. Maybe you'll have better luck with Santa than your friends.** **  
** **Candace:** **But, but... uhh!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Santa thinks everybody in Danville's been naughty.** **  
** _ **(Switches over to Buford with Baljeet in a snowman and a carrot in his mouth)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **Now that's just nonsense.**

"You were possibly the worst person to say that." Baljeet said

"I was good that Christmas."

"Only because the elf was caught in the moment."

 **** _ **(Switches back to Phineas)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **But, but how can that be.** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh, well, let's see. What's different this year than last year? Oh, I know! You went out and got everyone in Danville involved in one of your off-the-cuff, harebrained schemes.** **  
** **Phineas:** **You think this could be my fault?** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh, who can say really? But, sometimes, we do naughty things without having any idea they're naughty. Sometimes we do an** **entire summer** **'s worth of them.** _ **(glares at Phineas)**_

"Wow, forget what I said before. That is just cruel."

"I have to agree Candace, just because you didn't enjoy your summer doesn't mean what the boys did that year was naughty. You can't blame others for what you are feeling you know." Linda told Candace, her disapproval struck Candace hard. All she could do was look down in shame

 **** **Phineas:** **Could this be true?** **  
** **Isabella/Buford/Baljeet:** **Oh no...I mean how could...well I guess it...** **  
** **Isabella/Buford:** **Maybe.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **I am cold.** **  
** _ **(Phineas stares at the letter)**_

 _ **(Scene opens up to a sad little boy)**_ **  
** **Anchorman:** **This is** **Gordon Gutsofanemu** **reporting from the** **Googolplex Mall** **here in downtown Danville. The Christmas all but banished ever since Santa Claus stamped big red "naughty" across this once nice city.** **  
** _ **(Scene shifts to Phineas waking up in a bed)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(gasp)**_ **It was all a bad dream! Christmas** _ **wasn't**_ **cancelled!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Phineas! No matter how many times you try that, it's not going to work.**

"Somebody was getting desperate." Holly said

 **** **Phineas:** **Maybe if I hadn't gotten out of bed today, I wouldn't have done the things Santa thought was naughty.** **  
** **Isabella:** **So, what? Are you going to stay here for the rest of your life?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Why not?** **  
** _ **(Camera zooms out to reveal it was the mall)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Well, for one, the mall closes in twenty minutes.**

"You went to the mall to do that, why?" Kai asked

"Well, the mall had everything for our next music number. If we did it in our home, it would have been just one Christmas tree"

 **** **Buford:** **I don't see what everyone's so worried about. I got this system, see? You act any way you want all year long, but then right before Christmas, you do one big act selfless act of kindness and Santa will wipe your slate clean. Works like a charm.**

"Well, not that it worked, ever. I just wanted to cheer everybody up."

"Ahh, thank big guy." Baljeet smiled at him

 **** **Baljeet:** **Really? So I might still have my one big Christmas wish come true?** **  
** **Buford:** **Maybe.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Are you not going ask me what my Christmas wish is?** **  
** **Buford:** **Nope. It'll only wanna make me hurt you, which will counteract my one act of kindness.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **All I want is one sweet, special Christmas kiss under the mistletoe.**

"Really? Is it still your wish now?" Ginger teased

"Kissing you anywhere and anytime would always be my wish." Baljeet said, his voice becoming deeper

"See Candace, that is how someone becomes smooth." Isabella said, pointing at the kissing couple

 **** **Buford:** **I'm outta here.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Not from you! From a pretty girl! Do not flatter yourself!**

 _ **Scene cuts to Naughtyinator in action)**_ **  
** **Carolers:** **We won't go until we get some** **  
** **We won't go until we get some** **  
** _ **(Perry chatters)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ugh! Don't you see what's going on out there? Game over! Your plan failed! There's no figgy pudding! There's no Christmas! You can all just go home!** **  
** **Carolers:** **We won't go until we get some** **  
** **It's a principle of a thing** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ugh!** **  
** **Josh:** **Come on guys, let's do** _ **But, it's Christmas, Becky**_ **.** **  
** **Becky:** **You** _ **got**_ **to get over me Josh!**

"Ouch, that is must have hurt for him."

 _ **(Scene shifts to Jeremy on the phone)**_ **  
** **Jeremy:** **Okay, bye. I gotta get home. Suzy's pretty upset that about Santa not coming.** **  
** **Candace:** **But wait, no! Let's do some last minute window shopping.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Candace, tell me what's wrong. I can't read your mind.** **  
** **Candace:** **Yes you can. That's the problem.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **I don't understand. What is it you want from me?** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh, right! Like you need me to tell you that. The question is, what do you want from me?** **  
** **Jeremy:** **I just want you to tell me what you want.** **  
** **Candace:** **Fine! I just want you to tell me what you want.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **I don't want anything.** **  
** **Candace:** **Nothing? Right, yours is perfect, and I show up with nothing. Do want me to look like a total monster!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Candace, that doesn't even make any sense.** **  
** **Candace:** **It's just that I think you're perfect, Jeremy. So I don't understand why you want to make me to feel like I'm not.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Candace, you should know me better than that. Look, I have to go home.** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh how did this go so wrong?**

"My problems are kind of shallow compared to Phineas's…" Candace said to herself

 **Song:** **Where Did We Go Wrong?** **)** **  
** **Phineas:** **How could we be naughty when I thought we'd been so nice?** **  
** **Isabella:** **Could we have been blinded to some little hidden vice?** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Did our visions of sugarplums not dance like they should?** **  
** **Phineas:** **I'm rackin' my brain here, I really thought we were good.**

 **Phineas, Baljeet and Isabella:** **I know you've got that list, and I know you check it twice.** **  
** **But could you check it again 'cause it seems to me we were all pretty nice.**

 **Phineas:** _ **All except for Buford, 'cause he's got that whole "last minute reprieve" theory.**_ **  
** **Buford:** _ **It's gonna work. You watch.**_

 **Phineas, Isabella, Baljeet, Candace and Jeremy:** **Where did we go wrong? Please tell me.** **  
** **Where did we go wrong?** **  
** **Where did we go,** **  
** **Phineas and Isabella:** **Won't somebody tell me,** **  
** **All:** **Where did we go wrong?**

"I am really sorry guys." Candace apologised, "What I did was uncalled for."

"Don't worry, we forgave you a long time ago."

 **Phineas:** **No! Y-You know what? I ca-can't except this. I know Danville and Danville is not naughty. We need to send a message to the North Pole to let them know there's been some sort of mistake.  
** **Isabella:** **But how do we do that?  
** **Baljeet:** **Yes, they're not evening answer our mail.  
** _ **(Camera zooms past Baljeet to a radio station)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Wait! I've got an idea. Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today.**

 _ **(Scene switches to the WJOP worker talking to Phineas)**_ **  
** **Man:** **The North Pole? Well I hate to tell you this Phineas, but** **WJOP** **only reaches the greater Danville area. We just don't have a very powerful transmitter.  
** **Phineas:** **You leave that to us.**

 _ **(Switches to Ferb angling a giant hanger to the antennae and gives Phineas the thumbs up)**_

"You know, I was expecting a giant machine way beyond what experts today are capable of, not a giant coat hanger. Well as long as it works I guess."

 **(Song:** **Danville for Niceness** **)** **  
** **Phineas:** **Everybody's saying we're naughty,** **  
** **It's getting really hard to take.** **  
** **Isabella:** **So we've come to let the whole world know there must have been a mistake.**

 **Baljeet:** **So if Santa and his elves can hear us,** **  
** **We hope we've been clear and concise.** **  
** **Buford:** **In the verses vice versus us.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Vice versa, us versus vice.**

 **Everyone:** **Danville is very nice** **  
** **Santa, please** **  
** **Check your list more than twice** **  
** **Guaranteed!**

 **Blay'n:** _ **Danville. What's he talking about?**_ **  
** **Clewn't:** _ **Let me see that list of last minute naughties.**_ **  
** **Blay'n:** _ **They're all from the same place.**_ **  
** **Clewn't:** _ **Hmmm. We've got to get to the bottom of this...**_

 **Everyone:** _ **(While Clewn't and Blay'n talk)**_ **  
** **Danville is very nice** **  
** **Santa, please** **  
** **Check your list more than twice**

 _ **(Scene shifts to the Carolers)**_ **  
** **Carolers:** **We won't go until we get some** **  
** **We won't go-** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Uh, uh guys. Don't hate me, but I went into the kitchen to get some almond brittle...love it!...and lo and behold it turns out I did have some figgy pudding. Quite a bit actually. I, I guess this whole thing was pretty easily resolved. I feel kinda sheepish for making a big deal. Anyway here, figgy pudding.  
** **Josh:** **Come on, guys. Our work here is done.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Bye bye now. Thank you for the evil motivation for destroying Christmas!**

"Well that is something you don't hear every day." Katie giggled

"You know Grandpa Doofy, if you wanted to destroy Christmas, you could have at least worn green." Marie giggled along with Katie.

 _ **(Scene shift to Phineas wrapping up a wire)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, that was fun at least.** **  
** **Isabella:** **What do you think the chances are that anyone in the North Pole saw that?** **  
** **Blay'n:** **Hello! Hello! Hello!** **  
** **Phineas:** **I'd say pretty good.** **  
** **Clewn't:** **So, what's all this business about Danville, then?**

"Hmm, convenient."

 _ **(Scene shifts to Perry trying to escape and he drops the CD)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(gasps)**_ **What's this?** _ **A Sal Tuscany Christmas**_ **... Score! What a perfect way to enjoy the last several hours before Christmas officially doesn't come.**

"Why? I thought you would want to hear anything Christmas related if your destroying Christmas."

"I just really like Christmas songs."

 **** **Sal Tuscany:** **We wish you a Merry Christmas** **  
** **We wish you a Merry Christmas** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Alright! You know, this one's really grown on me.** **  
** **Sal Tuscany:** **And a happ-**

 _ **(Scene shifts to Phineas and the gang with Blay'n and Clewn't)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **So that's what happened. Do you think it could be a mistake?** **  
** **Clewn't:** **A whole city deemed naughty at once.** **  
** **Blay'n:** **I've never seen anything like it.** **  
** _ **(Candace walks up and notices the elves)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Huh?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Oh hey Candace. These are two of Santa's elves.** **  
** **Candace:** **You gotta be kidding me.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Blay'n, Clewn't, this is my sister.** **  
** **Clewn't:** **Ah yes, Candace Flynn.** **  
** **Candace:** **You know who I am?** **  
** **Clewn't:** **No, that's not a good thing.**

"Ouch that burn must have hurt."

"I actually didn't hear that at all." Candace admitted, "Though I can see why it wasn't a good thing."

" _This isn't actually the first time Candace's character came under attack."_

 **** **Isabella:** **They're here trying to figure out why Danville was branded naughty.** **  
** **Candace:** **Well, maybe everyone did something naughty.** **  
** **Clewn't:** **No, it doesn't work that way. You see, everyone does naughty things from time to time but that's different from being a naughty person.** **  
** **Blay'n:** **You see, Santa's very forgiving.** **  
** **Clewn't:** **Oh, jolly to a fault, if you ask me.**

"Well he isn't a very happy little helper."

 **** **Blay'n:** **Well, something is definitely screwy around here. According to these readings as if the city itself is misbehaving.**

 _(Scene shifts back to DEI with view of the Naughty-inator)_  
 **Voice:** Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. _(A little monitor comes out)_  
 **Major Monogram:** **Uh-oh, Agent P. It turns out Carl was lying about getting you that Sal Tuscany CD.  
** **Carl:** **I** _ **never**_ **said I got it for him.  
** **Major Monogram:** **Quiet, Carl! Haven't you caused enough harm?** _ **(to Perry)**_ **Your "so-called" Secret Santa must've somehow infiltrated the agency and uh, until we get to the bottom of it, whatever you do,** _ **do not**_ **play that CD.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Boy, this Sal Tuscany guy is good. Let me crank it up some more.  
** _ **(Turns up the volume)**_ **  
** **Sal Tuscany:** **That's what Christmas is for!** **  
** _ **(The partridge helps Perry out of his trap)**_ **  
** **Sal Tuscany:** **Christmas cannot be destroyed!** **  
** **Not even by a Naughty-inator!**

"This plan is very impressive. The fact that it worked is even more amazing than any of Phineas's invention."

"I know right." Phineas said proudly.

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **What the? How did he...?  
** _ **(Sal Tuscany sings loud enough to destroy the Naughty-inator)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Okay, so we'll have Christmas. I simply don't care. Curse my intensely burning apathy towards Chri-  
** _ **(Perry punches Doofenshmirtz)**_

 _ **(Scene shifts to Baljeet)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **Oh, it is hopeless. I am never going to get my special mistletoe Christmas kiss.** _ **(Gets a wedgie from Buford)**_ **Ah!** **  
** **Buford:** **And I'm never going to get my one great act of kindness.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Those were long johns.** **  
** **Phineas:** **What about you, Isabella? Isn't there some big Christmas wish that your afraid won't come true?** **  
** **Isabella:** **Oh, um, we don't celebrate Christmas. But I got the coolest stuff for Hanukkah. Eight straight days of dreams come true. I mean... I'm with you guys. Boo, no Christmas.**

"Very smooth Isabella, very smooth." Candace mocked

"Quiet you." Isabella blushed

 **** **Phineas:** **Come on, guys. Do you really seem like bad kids?** **  
** **Clewn't:** **No, no, you're all good kids.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yes, I knew your heart will lead you to the truth.** **  
** **Clewn't:** **No, actually the meter suddenly gave you a "nice" reading.** **  
** **Blay'n:** **Yeah! "Nice"! "Nice"! Everywhere! Everyone "nice".** _ **(meter reads Buford)**_ **Except for him. Sorry.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, that's great. All you have to do is tell Santa and Christmas is back on, right?** **  
** **Blay'n:** **Uh, mmm. It's not that simple. You see, Santa's already left. The elves loaded the sleigh and map out his route; it's too late now. Santa's not coming to Danville.** **  
** _ **(Everyone is shocked)**_

 _ **(Scene opens up to Blay'n)**_ **  
** **Blay'n:** **It's too late now. Santa's not coming to Danville.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well, that doesn't seem fair.** **  
** **Clewn't:** **What are** _ **you**_ **gonna do about?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Me?** **  
** **Blay'n:** **Him?** **  
** **Clewn't:** **Yeah, him. You saw his file.** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(thinks for a moment)**_ **Ferb, I know a third thing we're gonna do today. We're gonna save Christmas. Who's in?** **  
** **Buford:** **Me.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **I'm in.** **  
** _ **(Ferb gives a thumbs up)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Me too.** **  
** **Candace:** **I guess I'm in too.** **  
** **Everyone but Candace:** **Yay!** **  
** **Clewn't:** **Blay'n, dust off my toy-making gloves. I've found a reason to believe again.**

 _ **(Scene switches to the gang preparing the sleigh)**_

"It was a good thing that the elves help or even we wouldn't have gotten it up and running in time."

 **** **Phineas:** **Friends, I'm not going to lie to you: this is going to be difficult, but failure's not an option.**

"Actually it wasn't really that difficult, I just wanted to sound dramatic."

 **Candace will keep track of who gets what presents. Blay'n and Clewn't will make the presents. Isabella and Buford wrap. And Baljeet feeds the presents in the Christmas cannon manned by Ferb. Any questions?** **  
** **Buford:** **Yeah, are you** _ **sure**_ **that's not a clubhouse?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yes, I'm sure. Hang on, everybody, here we go!** **  
** _ **(They take off)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **The cloud layer is too thick. I can't see. What happened to all the lights?** **  
** **Isabella:** **Everyone was so bummed out, I guess they never turned them on.** **  
** **Buford:** **I'll take care of it. Just get me in low.** **  
** _ **(Phineas lowers the sleigh)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Good luck, Buford!** **  
** **Buford:** **All right, Buford, here's your chance.**

 _ **(Switches back to the sleigh)**_ **  
** **Clewn't:** **All right, who's first on the list?  
** **Candace:** **It's Buford, but it says he's naughty.**

 _ **(Switches to two men shoveling)**_ **  
** **Man 1:** **Plow!  
** _ **(Switches to a plow with Buford on it and ringing a bell)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **Christmas** _ **is**_ **coming! Christmas** _ **is**_ **coming! Christmas** _ **is**_ **coming! Turn the lights on!  
** **Boy:** **Did you hear that? Christmas** _ **is**_ **coming!  
** **Woman:** **Hey, let's get those lights on.  
** **Man 2:** **Yeah, let's turn on the lights!  
** **Man 3:** **What are we waiting for?**

 _ **(The lights turn on and the clouds blow away)**_

 **Isabella:** **Wow!  
** **Baljeet:** **Buford did it!  
** **Candace:** **But it still says he's naughty.  
** **Clewn't:** **Oh, what the heck. It's Christmas.  
** _ **(Clewn't changes Buford's naughty to nice)**_ **  
** **Blay'n:** **So, what does he want?  
** **Candace:** **To be thought of as nice by his friends.  
** **Candace/Baljeet/Isabella:** **Aww.  
** **Baljeet:** **Merry Christmas, old buddy!**

 _ **(Switches to Buford saluting Baljeet)**_

"You are a softie on the inside after all." Baljeet teased.

"I guess I am." Buford admitted, smiling

 _ **(Switches back to Isabella and Phineas)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **It's beautiful.  
** _ **(The gang flies over the lights that spell "Thank You Santa")**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **I wish Santa could've seen it. Oh, well. Come on, guys, let's make up some lost time.**

 **(Song:** **Christmas is Starting Now** **)** **  
** **Big Bad Voodoo Daddy** **:** **Grab some holly and mistletoe** **  
** **'Cause we're gonna go out tonight** **  
** **We're gonna bask in the electric glow** **  
** **Of a million little colored lights**

 **We've got a lot to do, before the dawn** **  
** **So with a minimum of introspection** **  
** **I think you better put your mittens on** **  
** **Shake your jingle bell in my direction**

 **Sometimes I feel like a big snowman** **  
** **That's fallen under a plow** **  
** **But tonight I'm on top of the world** **  
** **We're gonna bring it around somehow**

 **Christmas is startin' now!** **  
** **Oh yeah, Christmas is startin' now** **  
** **That's right, Christmas is startin' now** **  
** **Oh yeah** **  
** **Christmas is startin' now** **  
** **Right now! Yeah!**

 **Phineas:** **Good going, guys. We only have a few more blocks to go.** **  
** **Isabella:** **We gotta hurry if we're gonna make it by Christmas Day.** **  
** **Candace:** **Okay, next up: Jeremy Johnson? I don't believe it!** **  
** **Clewn't:** **What does he want?** **  
** **Candace:** **We can skip this one. I already got him what he really wanted. Yes!** **  
** **Phineas:** **We're coming up on the last house. Fire away!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Oh, no, it is stuck.** **  
** **Candace:** **It's Wendy Stinglehopper's present. She asked for a** _ **really**_ **big hat.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Isn't that that pretty girl from the math team?** **  
** **Baljeet:** **I know what I must do.** **  
** _ **(Baljeet starts to climb the conveyor belt)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Be careful, Baljeet!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Uh! Almost got it. Ah!** **  
** _ **(Baljeet gets shot out of the cannon)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Baljeet!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Goodbye, my friends! Ah!**

 _ **(Baljeet starts to fall but floats down to Wendy's chimney)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **Hey, that was fun.  
** **Wendy** **:** **Baljeet?  
** **Baljeet:** **Oh, uh, hi Wendy. Did anyone order a really big hat?  
** **Wendy:** **Eee! My hat! Oh how can I ever thank you?  
** _ **(The camera pans up to mistletoe)**_ **  
** **Wendy:** **Hey, look, mistletoe.  
** _ **(Baljeet blushes and Wendy gives him a smooch on the cheek, then he gives her a romantic kiss)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **Later.**

"Well somebody's a player." Kai teased

"No I'm not." Baljeet said nervously, he could feel Ginger's glare

"Really? I thought you had Mishti Patel at some point?" Ginger growled

"Um…"

"You are sleeping on the couch for the next week."

"Ok…"

 _ **(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz tied up)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Okay yeah, yeah, I get it. A taste of my own medicine right?  
** _ **(Perry places the partridge on Doofenshmirtz's nose)**_ **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh of course, and the bird. It doesn't even work!** **A partridge on an evil scientist!** **There's no play on words. That's not clever. You're not clever!  
** _ **Perry!**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Uh, I hate Christmas. Yes! I hate Christmas! Woohoo! This is the best Christmas ever!**

"What an ironic statement."

"See it's not a stereotype, it's real." Monogram suddenly yelled

"…Nobody said anything about a stereotype. Sir"

"I just wanted to prove a point."

 _ **(Scene shifts to Phineas lowering the sleigh in the backyard)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Woohoo!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yeah!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Great job!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Nice shootin', Ferb.** **  
** _ **(Phineas shakes Ferb's hand)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Well done. If you'll excuse me, I gotta see Jeremy.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Great work guys.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Not to alarm you, but your house is on fire.** **  
** _ **(Camera cuts to the rest stop with smoke coming out of it)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **That's not fire, it's steam! Come on!**

 _ **(The gang go up to the rest stop to see Santa's reindeer; Phineas and Isabella gasp)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **I don't believe it! Santa!** **  
** **Blay'n:** **Uh, sir, what are you doing here?** **  
** **Santa** **:** **Having a shvitz. Steam is just what the doctor ordered.** **  
** **Phineas:** **We thought you weren't coming to Danville.** **  
** **Santa:** **And pass up on enjoying this cool rest stop you made me? Ho! Ho! Ho! Unthinkable! And thanks for doing the Danville run for me.** **  
** **Phineas:** **You knew?** **  
** **Santa:** **Of course I knew! I'm Santa Claus!**

"You know, when I thought of Santa, I always pictured him as a Russian man with tattoos of the word naughty and nice on his forearms for some reason."

 _ **(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh what a mess. Curse you, Sal Tuscany!** _ **(smashes the CD)**_ **Well, I probably should call Uncle Justin and thank him for the gift anyway. Hello, operator? I would like to place a call to... Barneo? I thought it said Borneo. Wait, where's Barneo? The North Pole! Wait a second! The letters of "A Sal Tuscany Christmas" spell "Santa Claus" with an embarrassing leftover "Y". Let me see that picture. Sal Tuscany is Santa Claus?**

"That picture suddenly looked very different all of a sudden, I'm pretty sure there wasn't a beard just now." Carl said as he squinted his eyes

 **(AN: You can just sjip to the end, I have nothing to say for the rest.)**

 _ **Scene shifts to Candace about to leave for Jeremy's)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Ah! Jeremy! I was just coming to see you.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Hey, Candace. I don't know what that was all about before, but I wanted to give you your present.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(gasps)**_ **The earrings I wanted. Jeremy, how did you know?** **  
** **Jeremy:** **I remember you loved them in that magazine. And you were even gonna have your good necklace made into a pair like them.** **  
** **Candace:** **That's so sweet. How did you afford these?** **  
** **Jeremy:** **I sold my electric.** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh, Jeremy. You were gonna trade that in to get that cool, new silver one.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **You knew that?** **  
** **Candace:** **I guess I know you as well as you know me, my bowl full of jelly. Here's your gift.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **The silver guitar! But how?** **  
** **Candace:** **I sold my good necklace.** **  
** **Candace/Jeremy:** **It's perfect.** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Merry Christmas.** **  
** **Candace:** **Merry Christmas.** **  
** _ **(Jeremy and Candace hug)**_

 _ **(Scene shifts back on the roof)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **Funny how things worked out so that everyone pretty much got what they wanted.  
** **Isabella:** **What did you wish for, Phineas?  
** **Santa:** **May I do the honors? I like this one.  
** **Phineas:** **Okay.  
** **Santa:** **"Dear Santa, you are one of my biggest heroes. All I want for Christmas this year is a chance to be like you. Thank you, Phineas Flynn." Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, Phineas. And by the way, good job.  
** **Blay'n:** **Yeah!  
** **Isabella:** **Yeah, that was fun.  
** **Baljeet:** **Good job.**

 _ **(Scene switches to Santa tying up the rest stop)**_ **  
** **Santa:** **Well, kids, it's time for me to head home. So you're sure you don't need this?  
** **Phineas:** **No, we made it for you.  
** **Santa:** **Great! I'll take it to the North Pole, and use it as a clubhouse.  
** **Buford:** **I** _ **knew**_ **it was a club house.  
** **Blay'n:** **Goodbye!  
** **Baljeet:** **Goodbye Blay'n, Clewn't. Merry Christmas!  
** **Isabella:** **See you guys. Thanks Blay'n. Thanks Clewn't.  
** **Buford:** **Merry Christmas to ya.  
** **Clewn't:** **So long. And... thanks.  
** **Phineas:** **Wait, Santa! It's true isn't it? You planned everything so everyone's Christmas wish would come true.  
** **Santa:** **Well, Santa's gotta have a little fun.** _ **(starts to fly off)**_ **Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!  
** **Phineas:** **Oh wait! Ferb, what did you wish for?  
** **Ferb** **:** **Take a look at this morning's paper.  
** **Phineas:** **"World peace"?  
** **Ferb:** **No, no, this one down here.  
** **Phineas:** **"Local boy gets harmonica"! Hey, great picture!**

 _ **(Scene switches to the Flynn-Fletcher siblings going to greet their parents and grandparents)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Hey, Mom and Dad are back.  
** **Reginald** **:** **Hey kiddies! Merry Christmas.  
** **Phineas:** **Grandma! Grandpa! You made it!  
** **Candace:** **Merry Christmas.  
** **Winifred** **:** **I made figgy pudding.  
** _ **(And the family walks into the house)**_

" _AND done. To end it off, let' wish everyone a Merry Christmas.1 2 3."_

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

The sound of a guitar strum filled the room

"Why did we say that?" Phineas asked everyone "I didn't want to say merry Christmas in the middle of summer and is that a guitar?"

" _Erm…On to the next episode!"_


	8. Happy New Year!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything I write**

" _Happy-"_

"Happy New Year?" Kai interrupted

" _Yeah, Happy New Year. How did you know?"_

"Well it was Christmas a few seconds ago and the next major event would be New Year. So am I right or did I take a too big step in logic?"

" _You're right. Now on to the next episode."_

 _ **(The words "Happy New Year!" appear in a twinkling font in the sky; the camera pans down to the Garcia-Shapiros' driveway)**_ **  
** **Vivian** **:** **Have fun at the party!** **  
** **Linda** **:** _ **(in her car)**_ **Thanks for having the boys over tonight, Vivian.** **  
** **Vivian:** **Oh, no problem, Linda. I have all the neighbourhood kids tonight.**

"That is a lot of kids for one house." Kai observed, "Must be a huge house."

"Vivian is so nice, she does it every year." Linda praised

 **** **Candace** **:** _ **(in the back seat of the car)**_ **C'mon, c'mon, I don't want to be late for my first grown-up party!**

"You're exaggerating it. Those parties are never fun." Phineas said as he rolled his eyes.

"Hey! Not everyone can make a miraculous party whenever they one. Spare a thought for the common folk." Candace defended herself

 **** **Linda:** **Heh. Okay, hun. Bye everyone! Happy New Year!** **  
** **Phineas** **:** **Bye guys!** **  
** **Isabella** **,** **Buford** **,** **Baljeet** **, Vivian:** **Goodbye!** **  
** **Phineas, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, Vivian:** **Happy New Year!** **  
** **Isabella:** **We're gonna have so much fun! We've got noisemakers, balloons, confetti...**

"Maybe I should have said 'We've got scraps, cranes, paint, a large budget instead huh' does that sound more fun to you?" Isabella half asked half teased

"Yeah, it does should a bit more fun." Phineas admitted

 **** **Vivian** **: And of course, we'll all stay up till midnight and watch the New Year's Eve ball drop!** **  
** **Buford:** **Baljeet's already out!** _ **(elbowing Baljeet, who is asleep standing up)**_

"I guess it is possible to fall asleep while standing up."

 **Buford:** **Wake up, will ya! You're drooling all over my arm!** **  
** **Baljeet:** **You know, saliva is 98% water and the other 2% is made up of very beneficial electrolytes. It is gross, but it is science.** **  
** **Buford:** **You're lucky the gross factor outweighs the science factor, or you'd have a one-way ticket to wedgie town!**

"Meh, he was getting it anyway. I didn't meet my yearly quota that year. Ah good times." Buford reminisced while Baljeet shivered

 **** **Phineas:** **Well, it'll be fun to finally see the ball drop.** **  
** **Vivian:** **Oh, it's a wonderful tradition!** **  
** **Isabella:** **And, of course, there's the other tradition of kissing someone special at midnight.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Well then, I know what** _ **we're**_ **going to do tonight.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Really?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Yeah! We're gonna make our own New Year's ball and drop it from outer space!** **  
** _ **(Isabella frowns)**_ **  
** **Vivian:** **Your mother is right, Phineas. You have such an active imagination!** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(dryly)**_ **Not active enough.**

Outside, it turned dark and the clock in the room struck midnight.

" _There it's New Years and midnight. Let's see if his imagination became more active."_

"It's the middle of summer…" Phineas said, exasperated

" _I'm giving you a reason to make out with Isabella and you're still gonna fight me on this?"_

"Oh just shut up and kiss me!" Isabella whispered into his ear.

"You know what, you're right. Thanks"

" _Ahh, it's always fun to right a bit of Phinbella."_

 **** **Vivian:** **I'm going to make some hot chocolate. You kids come in when you want to warm up. Hey, where's your platypus?**

"Hmm I think that was the first time anyone said anything like that." Phineas said as he wipe a bit of saliva off his mouth

 _ **(Perry lifts a patch of ice in the backyard and drops down into his lair)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram** **:** _ **(wearing a winter knit cap)**_ **Morning, Agent P. Sorry about the cold climate inside your lair; see, the heating system is on the fritz and we had to call a guy in from Aruba**

"You don't have a guy on hand in your top secret organisation?" Stacy asked

"Well they all went with us, the Aruba guy was an excuse."

Angry chatter

"Went with you where?"

 **Major Monogram** **:** **But I can assure you that we are all in the same boat here.** _ **(Perry is now completely frozen in ice, except for his bill)**_ **You're not alone in this; we are all sharing the pain, and...** _ **(a beach ball hits the background, which drops, revealing that Monogram is in Aruba)**_ **Heh heh heh, awk-ward.**

"Is it wrong for my faith in O.W.C.A to slow shrink like this?" Doof asked, feeling a bit angry that they never take him along when he joined the agency

Animal sounds, "No!" Maggie squawked

"We'll take you along next time." Monogram muttered

 **** **Carl** **:** **Race ya to the wet ski!** **  
** **Major Monogram:** **Um, uh, Doof's doing something in City Hall, uh, put a stop to whatever it is.** _ **(running after Carl)**_ **Hey Carl, I get the blue one!** **  
** **'** _ **(Perry frozenly chatters)**_

 _ **(Scene shifts to the backyard at the Flynn-Fletcher house)**_ **  
** **(Song:** **Quirky Worky Song** **)** **  
** **Isabella:** **Okay, Phineas, we're good to go!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Great. Bring her down! How's the soldering going up there?** **  
** **Baljeet:** **Ferb is almost done.** **  
** **Phineas:** **How are you doing, Buford?** **  
** **Buford:** **Why do I have to paint? Painting is for babies and beatniks!**

"Do you know how long it took? One paint brush and a giant ball?" Buford asked

"30 minutes?" Baljeet answered

"You're right but I'm still angry about it."

"You're always angry about it."

 **** **Phineas:** **That's no ordinary paint. It's a super-sealer that will protect us from the cold, dark vacuum of space!** **  
** **Buford:** **Beatnik talk!** **  
** **Irving** **:** _ **(followed by the**_ __ _ **Fireside Girls**_ __ _ **and two other kids, all staring in awe at the ball)**_ **Hey, Phineas. Mind if we see the inside?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Not at all!** _ **(They enter; each room is shown as Phineas mentions it)**_ **Check it out! A multi-level New Year's ball with punch bowl sailing...** **  
** **Isabella:** **Ahoy!** **  
** **Phineas:** **...balloon room, the bed of a thousand coats, an infinity slide, and through here, the grand ballroom! In other words, a ball within a ball!** **  
** **Irving:** **Whoa!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Irving?** **  
** **Irving:** _ **(on the infinity slide)**_ **How do I get out of here?!**

"You don't MUHAHAHAHA!" Phineas laughed evilly as lightning flashed outside the window.

"…He really got that evil laughter down doesn't he?"

"Can I try? Can I try?" Marie asked as she jumped up and down on her seat, "MUHAHAHA" Nothing happened as she sounded more cute than menacing

"You'll get it down one day…honey." Phineas said as he patted her back, though he sounded a bit hesitant when he said 'honey'

 _ **Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_ **  
** **Norm** **:** **Happy New Year!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Norm, I told you: You don't celebrate 'til midnight, not all day. What if midnight never comes? Then you've squandered a whole day celebrating.**

" _That argument was weak and you know it."_

"Hey I think I can make a NoMidnight-inator."

" _Which will be stopped by Perry, ensuring that midnight does come."_

"you're right." Doof conceded

 **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Think of that, tough guy?** _ **(crashing sound is heard)**_ **Perry the Platypus?** _ **(the floor opens up below Perry, trapping him in the top of a bottle)**_ **Ha-ha! It's a bottle of sparkling cider trap, and you're the cork! Which makes you Perry the Cork-apus! Ha-ha, you got a funny name. Anyway, it's New Year's-themed!** **  
** **Norm:** **Happy New Year!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Not yet, Norm. And on to my plan: I recently learned that in most of the world, there's a tradition where people decide to change something about their lives in the coming year, and they call it "a New Year's resolution." I-I-I had no idea; you see, back in Drusselstein, change was frowned upon. Any change!**

"Grandfather, didn't you already spend a over 20 years in America?" Thomas asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I don't go out that much."

 _ **(Flashback of young Doofenshmirtz in front of his TV, being closely watched by a guard)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(voice over)**_ **Uh, you couldn't change your channel on your TV,...**

"…" Everyone didn't know how to react to that

"There's a terrible, insensitive joke to make here about a place with the word north to make here but I won't do it." Kai swallowed

"Don't worry, it's not that bad. They don't do anything but stand there and look over your shoulder

 **** _ **(Flashback of young Doofenshmirtz dropping a flower into his pants)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(voice over)**_ **...you couldn't change your underwear,...**

"I suddenly see both you and Uncle Roger in a very different light." Vanessa said looking a bit green

 **** _ **(Flashback of young Doofenshmirtz in jail with two tough-looking criminals)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(voice over)**_ **...and forget about changing your hairstyle; you... you'd end up in jail.** **  
** _ **(All three people in jail are shown with odd hairstyles; flashbacks end.)**_

"Well it wasn't a jail, more like time out. You don't more than an hour in there and a bad hair cut is the worse you'll get."

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **But here in the new world, we embrace change!** _ **(beat)**_ **Apparently. And that's why I came up with the Resolution Changer-inator! Cleverly disguised as a bow tie! When I turn it on at the stroke of midnight, it will make everyone change their resolution from whatever it was, like, I don't know, "I-I'm gonna lose weight," or, "gain a limb,"**

"I always wanted an extra arm, think of all the wedgies I can give."

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **or whatever, to, "I'm going to make Heinz Doofenshmirtz my leader and obey his every command." That will be their new resolution.** _ **(puts the Resolution Changer-inator on)**_ **All right, Norm, how do I look?** **  
** **Norm:** **Like a pharmacist in a bow tie!** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Eh, good enough.**

"NO! That's not good enough! What was I thinking, I hate being called a pharmacist!" Doof shivered

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Time to go.** _ **(Norm blows a noisemaker)**_ **You're squandering, Norm!**

 _ **(Scene shifts to the exterior of City Hall)**_ **  
** **Lawrence** **:** _ **(entering the party at City Hall with Linda)**_ **Ready to get your party on, dear?** **  
** **Linda** **: Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?**

"Well that's a strange metaphor." Holly blinked

 **** **Candace** **:** _ **(entering the party with Stacy)**_ **Wow, first year with the adults!** **  
** **Stacy** **:** **Yep, we're all grown up now. No more pigtails, dollies**

"You know, we stopped doing that when we became teenagers." Adyson pointed out

 **Stacy** **:** **or obsessing over boys.** **  
** **Candace:** **From now on, we obsess over men.** _ **(Candace and Stacy laugh)**_ **And no more busting!** **  
** **Stacy:** **Attagirl.** **  
** **Candace:** **Yep, I'm sticking to my resolution and turning over a new leaf. Fifteen whole minutes and I haven't thought of Phineas and Ferb.** _ **(her eye starts twitching)**_ **How they make those things. You know, those big, like, dangerous things they make...**

"It was a new record to." Stacy sighed, "One that she hasn't beaten yet."

 **** **Stacy:** **Candace...** **  
** **Candace:** **Sorry! I'm back, I'm back. Resolution... kicking in. Oh look, here come the boys!** **  
** **Stacy:** **You mean men?** _ **(Candace and Stacy laugh)**_ **  
** **Jeremy** **:** _ **(walking up to them with**_ __ _ **Coltrane**_ _ **)**_ **Ladies.** **  
** **Stacy:** **That's us! We're ladies.**

 _ **(Back at D.E.I., Perry bounces the big sparkling cider bottle repeatedly until the pressure bursts him out and cider sprays into the air)**_ **  
** **Norm** **: Carbonation is fun!**

Doof facepalmed, "If Old Norm's head wasn't so sarcastic I would be using him."

" _OR you can make a better trap."_

"Yeah, that to."

 _ **(Scene shifts back to City Hall)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(entering the party)**_ **Hello, Danville!** _ **(running up to a man)**_ **Hey you there, what's your New Year's resolution?** **  
** **Mustached man** **: To update my mustache.**

"How do you update a mustache?" Jeremy wondered

"I don't actually know." Lawrence tried

 **** **Doofenshmirtz:** **That's what** _ **you**_ **think!** _ **(walking away)**_ **Ha-HA-ha-ha! HA-ha!** **  
** **Mustached man:** **I don't know; it seemed achievable.**

 **Candace:** _ **(sitting at a table with Stacy)**_ **This is so great, being here as an adult.** _ **(giggles)**_ **Heh-heh. Not like my brothers. Who are kids. Who are probably building something, and it's something big...** **  
** **Stacy:** **Candace...** **  
** **Candace:** **Big and bustable... Gotta go!** **  
** **Stacy** **: Oh no you don't! This is gonna be a new year with a new Candace! Remember?** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(trying to resist, gripping the table)**_ **Gotta bust. G-g-g-gotta-g-g-gotta bu-bu-bu-bust!** _ **(breaks off two chunks of the table)**_ **Bust!**

"That is some insane strength." Buford said as he raised an eyebrow.

"Well some people do gain more power when their mind in focus on it. Much like how a mother can lift up a car to get to her child. I guess Candace gets more strength from trying to 'bust' us." Ferb said

 **** **Stacy:** _ **(as Candace keeps chattering)**_ **It's okay. It's just a temporary relapse.**

"Not that it's ever temporary." Stacy sighed

 **** **Jeremy:** _ **(walking up with Coltrane, holding a tray with four glasses of sparkling cider on it)**_ **Candace? Stacy told me about your New Year's resolution.** **  
** **Candace:** **Iiiiii... I need a timeout. I'll be right back!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Relapse?** **  
** **Stacy:** **Relapse.**

 **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(to a woman)**_ **That's what** _ **you**_ **think! Ha-HA-ha-ha-ha! Oh, it never stops being...** _ **(gasps as Perry enters)**_ **  
** _ **Perry!**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Perry the Platypus? You can't come in here; this is a black-tie affair.** _ **(Perry closes the door, then reenters wearing a half of a tux)**_ **  
** _ **Perry again!**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Actually, I guess it doesn't really specify pants anywhere, so I guess you're okay.**

"Wait…" Doof narrowed his eyes, appearing deep in thought, "That means I've been fight a naked platypus and fighting with a bunch of naked animals…" He slapped himself, "What was I think about again?"

"Nothing just about your next big inator." Carl said, for the sake of Doof sanity.

 **** **Lawrence:** _ **(to Linda)**_ **Oh, and another little tidbit about the ancient Egyptians** _ **(Doofenshmirtz and Perry run past them in the background)**_ **is that both men and women wore makeup.** **  
** **Linda:** **Just like the '80s.**

 **Candace:** _ **(in the ladies bathroom, washing her face with cold water)**_ **Hbrbrbrbrbr... Hold it together, girl. You can do this.** **  
** **Sandwich woman's friend:** **Hey, I thought your New Year's resolution was to stop eating sandwiches in the bathroom.**

"That is an oddly specific resolution…" Milly said

"I was hoping that her friend would call her weak for not following her resolution you know." Katie said

"We need to work on that side of yours." Kai muttered

 **** **Sandwich woman:** _ **(eating a large sandwich)**_ **But it's not midnight yet, so I can still enjoy this.** **  
** **Candace:** **Not midnight yet? That's it! I've actually got an hour left to bust my brothers!** _ **(running out of City Hall)**_ **I've gotta find out what they're doing! I'll get video. Whoa! Ooh!** _ **(slips and falls on a patch of ice)**_ **Aah! Aah!** _ **(skids down an alleyway, bounces off a pillow and goes flying)**_ **Aah!** _ **(swings around a street lamp's pole and lands on her feet)**_ **Ooh! Huh, that parkour training actually paid off.**

"You took parkour?" Jeremy asked

"Well I always thought that I couldn't bust the boys because I was always to slow. So I thought with parkour I can get to mom quicker and then finally BUST THE BOYS…not that it matters. It always still disappears before mom gets home." Candace ranted

 _ **(Scene shifts to the interior of the giant ball)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **All right, let's start this bash in a ball!** _ **(pulls a lever)**_ **  
** **Kids:** **Yay!** _ **(they all throw confetti)**_ **  
** **Candace:** _ **(gasping)**_ **Huh, huh...** _ **(sees the ball rise)**_ **No, I missed it! And how am I gonna show Mom?** **  
** **Irving:** _ **(standing next to a camera set-up)**_ **No worries! I'm live-blogging the whole event on my podcast! We're trending right now!** **  
** **Candace:** **Right now?** _ **(into the camera)**_ **Hey, all of you out there in Internet Land! Watch closely, because I'm gonna bust Phineas and Ferb.** _ **(leaves)**_ **  
** **Irving:** _ **(into the camera)**_ **Hee hee hee! She** _ **never**_ **busts them.** _ **(into the camera again)**_ **And Internet Land is not a real place!**

"I'm surprised that you never bust them with Irving around. He does have an entire blog dedicated to the boys after all." Stacy pointed out

"Yeah and you can always check the internet for their inventions." Isabella added

Candace just facepalmed

 _ **(Scene shifts back to City Hall)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(runs through a curtain into a room filled with coats)**_ **What is this, the coat room?** _ **(Perry launches himself from behind the coats into Doofenshmirtz, who goes flying into a rack of coats; he emerges with a pink hat and coat on)**_

"I feel sorry for the lady who has to wear that." Vanessa said, still looking a bit green

"Hey that was years ago, I changed!"

 **All right, Perry the Platypus, if you really want to fight, here I a...** _ **(Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz into another coat rack)**_ **Ooh, Cashmere. Nice.**

 **Candace:** _ **(re-enters City Hall, gasping)**_ **  
** **Jeremy:** **Hey, Candace. I got you a glass of sparkling cider.** **  
** **Candace:** **Raincheck! This is my last time to bust!** **  
** **Jeremy:** **Serious relapse.** **  
** **Candace:** **Come on, Irving.** _ **(plugs her phone into the wall, switching the video feed to show Phineas and Ferb's ball)**_ **Yes! Everyone, can I have your attention please?** _ **(everyone turns to face Candace)**_ **My brothers and their friends will be dropping from outer space in that giant New Year's ball.** **  
** **Crowd:** **Wow!** **  
** **Man:** **Amazing!** **  
** **Woman:** **Ooh, that's fantastic!** **  
** **Candace:** **No, that's not fantastic! It, uh, okay, well, I-I admit it's impressive**

"Aww, so you do like our inventions." Phineas teased

" 'Like' is to strong of a word."

 **Candace:** **But it's still bustable! Mooo-oommmm!** **  
** **Woman with pearls:** **If those were my boys, they'd be so busted.** **  
** **Candace:** **Please! Adopt me now! AAAUUUGGGHHH! Mom!**

"…somebody was really getting desperate."

"What do you expect. It was my last chance to bust!"

"No it's not." Stacy corrected, "it never is."

 _ **(Scene shifts to the kids' party in the ball)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Okay, it's almost midnight, let's go!** _ **(pushes lever and the ball drops)**_ **  
** **Kids:** _ **(scream)**_

 _ **(Back at City Hall...)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(emerging from the coat room)**_ **Ha-HA! You'll never get out of that straitjacket. Why would anyone wear that to a New Year's Eve party? I guess maybe if you were a magician, maybe...**

"I can think of a ghost story for that." Kai took out a flash light and switched it on

"Why do you have that?" Ginger asked

"I always have it with me."

"Like my velvet rope." Buford said, pulling it out.

"…Yeah something like that. Now let me get on to the ghost story."

"You know the Danville city hall wasn't always the city hall. It was once a mental asylum for mad, evil scientist. So mad and evil that they can make the doctor over ther look like a puppy."

"Hey!" Doof said looking offended

"Every day and night, you can hear the mad ramblings of those scientist. Until one day the people had enough. That one day, the mayor ordered the scientist be moved to an isolated location in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, So that nobody will ever be bother by them again and that the mental asylum be rebuilt as the city hall."

"Why would anyone want to built a mental asylum in the middle of Danville and then rebuilt it as the city hall?" Phineas asked

"It's a ghost story, it does really have to make sense. Let just say that the previous city hall was destroyed by one of the scientist ok?"

"Sure that works." Phineas agreed

"And so they did. The new city hall was better, the people felt safer. Or so they thought. There was still one scientist left behind. He was so evil, so insane that they had to give him a special room. They had to restrain him in a straitjacket! He was locked up far away from all the other patients and almost all but forgotten. Until he was forgotten. The first new year's party held in the city hall uncovered his body, only a skeleton was left, dressed in a straitjacket and the patients uniform. The people all to happy to forget the history of the mental asylum thought that it was a prank. They kept the straitjacket and made the room into a coat room, the skeleton thrown into the trash. It wasn't until the next party did the haunting come full force though. Throughout the events, mad ramblings could be heard, so similar to that of the ones in a long forgotten mental asylum. So say that if you wear that straitjacket still left behind in that room, you can hear his evil rambles in your head, slowly but sure driving you just as insane as he was, you make you take his place and haunt the city hall until the next foolish daredevil take your place."

"MUHAHAHA!" Phineas laughed to add to the mood

"So how was it?"

"Meh." Everyone said

"Wow, tough crowd"

 **** **Man and woman:** _ **(running out of coat room)**_ **Only one minute 'til midnight!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Time to launch my pla-an!** _ **(runs on stage)**_ **Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!  
** _ **(Perry runs out of coat room, removes the straitjacket, and grabs a chair, charging towards the stage with it; Doofenshmirtz gasps, but Perry merely puts the chair on the stage and sits down. He gestures to allow Doofenshmirtz to continue)**_ **  
** **Crowd:** **10! 9! 8!  
** **Candace:** **Mom? Mom?  
** **Crowd:** **7! 6! 5!  
** **Sandwich woman:** _ **(still eating the sandwich)**_ **Almost done!  
** **Crowd:** **4!  
** **Candace:** _ **(sees Linda and Lawrence about to kiss in the courtyard)**_ **Mom! It's New Year's! This is no time for kissing!**

"It's the perfect time for kissing!" Isabella said

 **** **Crowd:** **3!** _ **(Phineas and Ferb's ball lands)**_ **2! 1!  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz zaps the crowd with the Resolution Change-inator; the ball now reads "HAPPY NEW YEAR")**_ **  
** **Crowd:** **Happy New Year!** _ **(cheers)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(to Perry)**_ **Now watch this.** _ **(to crowd)**_ **What is everyone's New Year's resolution?  
** **Crowd** **: To follow you, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, our new leader!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Ha-HA-ha-ha-ha! Mmmm, so, how does it feel to be a loser, Perry the Platypus? I mean, that's a rhetorical question. 'Course, if anyone should know how it feels, it should be me, but...** _ **(to crowd)**_ **All right, everyone! Follow me; we're taking over City Hall!** _ **(runs out of room; no one follows him, so he comes back in to find the crowd cheering)**_ **Hello? What are you doing? Obey me! Hey, wha-what about your resolution?  
** **Man with party hat** **:** _ **(laughing)**_ **Everyone knows that no one ever keeps their New Year's resolution.  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **That doesn't even make any sense! Why would you make resolutions if you're not ever gonna fol...** _ **(to Perry)**_ **Did you know about this? You did! You knew about this and you still punched and kicked and pinched me.** _ **(Perry shrugs his shoulders)**_ **Ah, I guess you're right. That's... that is what we do.** _ **(Perry blows a noisemaker)**_ **Aw, thank you, Perry the Platypus.** _ **(Doofenshmirtz blows the noisemaker)**_ **Happy New Year.**

"That is how we show our love for each other after all." Doof grinned

 **(Song:** **Happy New Year** **)** **  
** **Olivia Olson** **:** **You know it hasn't been bad** **  
** **More happy than sad** **  
** **But I tell you I'm glad** **  
** **When I think about starting all over again** **  
** **Yeah, I know what we did** **  
** **But I don't think about then** **  
** **That was a moment** **  
** **But this is another**

 **So I'm not gonna cry** **  
** **When we say goodbye** **  
** **To the year that is** **  
** **Quickly receding** **  
** **We're not gonna look back** **  
** **We know we're on the right track** **  
** **And we all know that time is fleeting** **  
** **(Time is fleeting)** **  
** **Time is fleeting**

" _The call back is really with this one."_

 **Because you know it's a new year** **  
** **It's a brand new beginning** **  
** **Another 365**

"Somebody has the moves." Phineas teased

 **world keeps spinning**

"That was the best moment the entire night." Isabella sighed, "Not a kiss but it was so close."

 **It's a new year** **  
** **It's a time for celebration** **  
** **The fun has just begun** **  
** **Yeah, it's gonna be a Happy New Year**

 **(Gonna be a Happy New Year)** **  
** **(Gonna be a Happy New Year)** **  
** **Gonna be a Happy New Year** **  
** **(Gonna be a Happy New Year)** **  
** **Gonna have a Happy New Year**

 _ **(remaining lyrics have dialogue over them)**_ **  
** **'Cause you know it's a new year** **  
** **It's a brand new beginning** **  
** **Another 365** **  
** **And the world keeps spinning**

 **It's a new year  
** **It's a time for celebration** **  
** **The fun has just begun** **  
** **Yes, gonna be a Happy New Year**

 _ **(the ball launches into space)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **What is happening?  
** **Phineas:** **Is this your doing, bro?  
** **Ferb** **:** **"Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago," but I'd rather think of New Year's as an unspoiled universe.** _ **(ball explodes into fireworks)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **I sure hope Candace can see the fireworks.**

 **(Gonna be a Happy New Year)** **  
** **(Gonna be a Happy New Year)** **  
** **Gonna be a Happy New Year**

 **Candace:** _ **(standing with Jeremy on a balcony, watching the fireworks)**_ **You know, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep this resolution.  
** **Jeremy:** **That's okay. I like you just the way you are. Happy New Year, Candace.  
** **Candace:** **Happy New Year, Jeremy.**

 _ **(they kiss; fireworks go off reading "HAPPY NEW YEAR")'**_

" _Now let's wish everyone a Happy new year!"_

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!...Goddamnit stop doing that we know it's you!"

" _It's Bee Day next week right?"_

"STOP IGNORING US!"


	9. Bee Day

**Sorry for not writing for the last 3 weeks. First week to worried about my results, the rest to happy about my results**

 _ **(Scene opens with a banner reading "Bee Day" and a parade balloon shaped like a bee)**_

 _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **Bee Song**_ _ **)**_ **  
** **Man:** **Where's that swarm? What's that drone?** **  
** **Something's buzzing close to home.**

 **Man and Woman:** **It's Bee Day,** **  
** **And I'm feeling fine**

 **Some citizens:** **They look for pollen wherever they roam,** **  
** **Then regurgitate honey in a honeycomb.** **  
** **It's Bee Day;** **  
** **Come on, get in line!**

 **All citizens:** **It's time to celebrate Bee Day!** **  
** **They pollinate the flowers,** **  
** **Bee Day!** **  
** **They party in the hives.** **  
** **Bee Day!**

 **From time to time they sting us** **  
** **And they pay for it with their lives...**

"I love how the song goes so dark at the end." Buford said, grinning

"Don't you just love tradition?" Katie giggled

"You all have some weird traditions." The only non-Danville person said

 **Because it's Bee Day!**

 _ **(Song abruptly ends; Jimmy looks at his mom)**_ **  
** **Jimmy:** **Why do we always end on that weird B flat with an F sharp bass?  
** **Jimmy's mother:** **It's tradition, Jimmy. We don't question it.  
** **Jimmy:** **I mean it's not even in the key.**

"I like it, it adds flavour to the song." Kai said brightly

 _ **(Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Lawrence, and Perry are in the car with Linda driving)**_ **  
** **Linda** **:** **So, did you all have fun at the Bee Day Festival's Opening Ceremony?** **  
** **Lawrence** **:** **It was bee-wildering.** **  
** **Phineas** **:** **Bee-utiful.** **  
** **Lawrence:** **Bee-dazzling.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Bee-yond.** **  
** **Lawrence:** **Bee-guiling.** **  
** **Candace** **:** _ **(stops reading a magazine)**_ **Ugghh! Just bee quiet!** **  
** **Linda:** **Oh Candace, bee-have.**

"Ah bee puns, don't you just love them." Lawrence chuckled

 **Linda:** _ **(giggles)**_ **What's so important anyway?** **  
** **Candace:** **Oh nothing, just taking the what-kind-of-teenager-are-you-quiz to unlock my true teen identity!**

"You still did those things back then?" Phineas asked

"Of course! What teenager doesn't?"

"Weren't you disillusioned by that industry when we turned you 50 feet?"

"…It's fun ok!" Candace said defensively

 **** **Linda:** **Well, I'll just leave that to the professionals at the magazine.** _ **(drives past an inflatable wading pool)**_ **Oh, look at that, an inflatable wading pool. Oh, it's just like the one I used to play with Candace when she was little. Remember, hon?** **  
** **Candace:** **Mmmm-hmm!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Ferb, I know what we're going to do today... and I'll tell you after the wipe.** **  
** _ **(the screen wipes to the backyard)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **We're making the ultimate inflatable wading pool for Mom. Hey, where's Perry?**

 _ **(A door opens revealing Perry in a bee headband instead of his fedora)**_ **  
** **Agent Bee!** **  
** _ **(One of the singers clears her throat as Perry swaps his headband to his fedora)**_ **  
** **P!** **  
** **Major Monogram** **:** **Good morning, Agent P! We, ah, ah** _ **(sneezes)**_ **Sorry, I** _ **(coughs)**_ **My allergies are acting up. This whole Bee Day business is stirring up all the pollen in Danville.**

"It must be tough for you." Jeremy winced

"I just hide deep underground for the duration." Monogram shrugged

 **Major Monogram** **:** **Anyway, Agent P, uh, Doof's been spotted gathering bee pheromones, which is not only disgusting but probably evil.**

"Do you think that everything I did back then was evil?" Doof asked, throwing his hands up

"Yes. That's all you did back then, like seriously get a life."

"…ok, you have a point."

 **Major Monogram** **:** **To send you on your way, Carl actually came up with a bee-themed jetpack. It's right behind you.** _ **(a hatch opens behind Perry, holding a bee-themed jetpack)**_ __ **Carl! Where are those tissues?!** **  
** **Carl** **:** _ **(hands a box of tissue)**_ **Here you go, sir.** **  
** _ **(Perry wears the new jetpack and puts his bee headband onto his fedora)**_ **  
** **Major Monogram:** _ **(off-screen)**_ **Single-ply, seriously?** **  
** **Carl:** _ **(off-screen)**_ **We're on a budget, sir.** _ **(Perry flies away on the customized jetpack)**_

"Yeah, if only someone didn't buy that private jet." Carl looked at Monogram accusingly

 _ **(At the**_ __ _ **Flynn-Fletcher house**_ _ **, in Candace's room)**_ **  
** **Candace:** _ **(while talking on phone with Stacy)**_ __ **Okay, Stace, I'm done! Just tallying up the score.** **  
** **Stacy** **:** _ **(in her room, talking to Candace on phone)**_ **So, how did you d-** _ **(Candace screams at the phone)**_ **Okay, wh-** _ **(Candace screams again)**_ **You done?** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(from the phone)**_ **No.** _ **(screams)**_ **  
** **Stacy** **: Candace, talk to me.** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(from the phone)**_ _ **Heather Magazine**_ **says I'm...** _ **(Cut to her)**_ **an emo teen! An emo teen, Stacy! I don't even know what that is.**

"You thought you were an emo teen?" Jeremy teased

Candace blushed, "Well, _Heather Magazine_ was never wrong after all."

 **** **Stacy:** **Okay, to the Internet.** _ **(starts typing on her laptop)**_ **Here we go. Emos believe everyone's against them.** **  
** **Candace:** **How can you say that to me?** **  
** **Stacy:** **They're highly sensitive and drama queens.** **  
** **Candace:** **No, I'm NOT!**

"You know, when she acts like that, it's pretty convincing." Jeremy admitted. Candace slapped his shoulder

 **** **Stacy:** **You know, as teenage sub-cultures go, it's not so bad. You just need a new look to match your true teen identity. I'll be right over.**

 _ **(Scene shifts to the backyard)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Ferb, how's the pool inflation coming?** _ **(Ferb gives him a thumbs up)**_ **  
** **Isabella** **:** **Hi Phineas, what'cha doin?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Ferb and I are building a super inflatable wading pool. Wanna help?** **  
** **Isabella:** **I'd love to, but actually, I need your help.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Anything for you, Isabella.** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(romantically)**_ **Really?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Sure.** _ **(passionately)**_ **Your word is my humble command. I would travel the four corners of the globe -** **which I have actually done** **\- but this time, it would be for you.**

"I don't remember saying that last part at all." Phineas said as he scratched his head.

Isabella's eyes widened, she knew what was coming, "Wait! Pause. Please skip the next few seconds."

" _Well, I would love to, but the readers want to see this happen."_

"Readers? What readers?."

" _Well, I believe the fireside girls want to see a phineas land moment in real life no?"_

"Phineas land? What's that?" Phineas asked, puzzled

Isabella buried her face in her hands, "Just get on with it."

 **** _ **(Scene changes to a beach, with Phineas rising on a rock in a white shirt and black pants with long red hair)**_ **  
** **All for you!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Ah...** **  
** **Ginger** **:** _ **(offscreen)**_ **Ahem?!** **  
** _ **(Scene changes back to reality)**_

The room was soon filled with laughter while Isabella groaned

"So that's how a Phineas land moment looks like." Gretchen teased. Isabella groaned louder

Phineas chuckled and hugged Isabella, "Don't worry, I think it's cute."

"It's embarrassing." Isabella whined

"But it's cute." Phineas said again

 **** **Ginger:** _ **(whispers)**_ **You were lost in Phineasland again.**

"She's always lost in Phineasland." Ginger rolled her eyes

 **** **Isabella:** _ **(snaps out)**_ **Oh! Right.** _ **(chuckles)**_ **Right. The** **Fireside Girls** **are going for our Beekeeping patch, and we need to borrow something.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Of course, but you're going to bring some collateral if you wannna borrow Ferb.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Oh Phineas!** _ **(laughs)**_ **  
** **Ginger:** **It's not** _ **that**_ **funny.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Stand down, Fireside Girl.**

 _ **(Perry, flying with his bee jetpack, throws his bee headband away)**_ **  
** _ **Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Oh, there you are Perry the Platypus - Hey, great costume, that's the bee's knees or you know, wings in this case.** _ **(A giant yellow fly swatter appears behind Perry and swats him)**_ **Ha! Swats happening, Perry the platypus. Swats up! Swats goin-** _ **(Perry punches him in the chin)**_ **Oof! Puh, hey, swats your problem?** _ **(Perry punches him again)**_

Chatter

"I do not deserve to get hit for those puns."

Meow

"What? What do you mean my puns are terrible? Harry loves my puns!"

"No he does not Squawk!"

"He laughs at them"

Bark

"Oh right…you're a hyena. An animal that laughs." Doof slouched, "Ok I get it."

"Isn't it strange how he can talk to animals?" Baljeet whispered to Ginger

"He was raised by ocelots after all."

 **Doofenshmirtz** **:** **Oh, I'm sorry, I-I can't help it, I got bees in the brain, especially the queen bee, You only hear about the queen bee this, queen bee that. You'll never hear about the King Bee, do you? That means there's a power vacuum that I need to exploit.**

"You don't read must, do you dad?" Vanessa asked

"No, back then, evil schemes took up most of my time. Now missions take up to much of my time

 **Doofenshmirtz** **:** _ **(shows an -inator)**_ **Behold! The Aroma-nator. Like the queen bee, I have acquired mass quantities of pheromones. See? Right here in the tank. Once I spray myself, the bees will be attracted to me and I will be crowned King Bee! After that, it's just a hop, skip, and a jump to ruling the entire Tri-State Area.**

"It's convenient that you left out what that hop, skip and jump part of your plan is."

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet."

 _ **(Back at Candace's room, Stacy is holding the magazine wihle Candace is in her closet)**_ **  
** **Stacy:** **Okay, so the top three items on the Heather Magazine 11-step guide to be the true emo teen are dark hair, dark clothes, and pencil-thin jeans.** **  
** **Candace:** **Ughh!** **  
** **Stacy:** **Let's see what you got.** **  
** _ **(Candace comes out of the closet, revealing an emo Candace)**_

"I was surprised that she had something that emo in her closet. Ususally it would be her red shirt and her white skirt." Stacy said

 **** **Stacy:** **Heeey, not bad!** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(weakly)**_ **Whatever.** **  
** **Stacy:** **Well, you got the look and you got the attitude. Now there's just one last test to see if you're a true emo. Do you have enough ennui to resist the urge to bust your brothers?** _ **(Candace looks out the window, seeing her brothers building the pool)**_ **I don't think your Mom would approve.** **  
** **Candace:** **Of course not! They're gonna be soooooo bus -** **  
** **Stacy:** **Nuh, uh, uh, true identity, Candace!** **  
** **Candace:** _ **(inhales heavily and exhales lower and lower until part of her hair covers her left eye)**_ **What's the point? No one understands me anyway.**

"That hair must represent how emo she really is."

 **** **Stacy:** **Wow,** _ **Heather Magazine**_ _ **is**_ **good!**

 _ **(In the backyard)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Thanks for the loan, Phineas! We're sure to get our Beekeeping patch now.** **  
** **Phineas:** **No problem, what are friends for, if not to reconfigure a sorbet machine that turns people into flies into a sorbet machine that turns people into bees!**

Kai twitch a bit at that, visibly holding in his curiosity.

 **Phineas:** **Just remember, the effect wears off after a couple of hours. Why don't you come back for our inflatable wading pool party after your patch ceremony?** **  
** **Isabella:** **Of course! Wouldn't miss it!** **  
** **Ginger:** **This is fascinating! Tell me more about bee dancing.** **  
** **Baljeet** **:** **Really? Because usually, people are either gone or fall asleep by the time I get to** _ **this**_ **part of the sentence.**

"Don't worry, I will never do that." Ginger giggled

 **** **Phineas:** **Hey, Baljeet! Mind giving me a hand with these pools?** **  
** **Baljeet:** _ **(looks away from Ginger)**_ __ **In a minute.** _ **(Turns around)**_ __ **So to continue, the figure eight and...** _ **(Notices Ginger has disappeared)**_ **Awwww, annnnnd we are back.**

"Well, expect that one time. Don't worry I have a reason" Ginger quickly said

" _And you will all see it"_

 _ **(In the kitchen, Candace walks in)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Hi, honey. Love the new look.** **  
** **Candace:** **You obviously don't know me. Nobody does. And if somebody did, I'd just deny it.** **  
** **Linda:** **Sweetie, I went through a similar phase when I was your age. Try writing some poems.**

"You did?" Lawrence asked, trying to imagine how Linda looked like when she was an emo teen

"It didn't last very long though, only a few weeks."

 **** **Candace:** **Whatever.** **  
** **I don't care,** **  
** **No one gets me...** **  
** **Except my hair.**

"The hair really did."

 **** **Linda:** **That's my girl.**

 _ **(Cut back to D.E.I.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(carrying a vacuum cleaner)**_ **Okay, time to fill the void in the power vacuum. 'Cause you see, it's a-it's a real vacuum cleaner.** _ **(Perry gives a look)**_ **No? Wow, either I'm off my game or you're just being stubborn.**

Chatter

"What do you mean I don't have game?"

 **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(Doofenshmirtz activates the vacuum and all the bees get sucked inside)**_ **Ha ha! Sucks to be you!**

Isabella was thinking how that looked so familiar

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **So we're back in business! Now, lemme just shut off this baby—Oops! I almost hit the self-destruct button here! What? I-I install one on** _ **every**_ **thing. It's my thing. I put one on my coffee machine, on my TV,** _ **(cut to a shot of Doofenshmirtz's toilet with a self-destruct button on it)**_

"Do you accidentally activate that self-destruct button when you try to flush the toilet?" Adyson asked

Vanessa twitched when she heard that question."

Unfortunately everyone noticed. "No you didn't…" Adyson trailed off

"There's a reason why I'm so I double check everything when I try to touch something."

"I thought you supported my thing. I mean you give me self destruct button all the time." Doof saw his daughter's glare, "At least you inherited the Doofenshmirtz's invincibility."

"Does the mayor have a self destruct button somewhere?" Kai wondered

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **I have one** _ **every**_ **where.** _ **(cut back to Doofenshmirtz)**_ **I even put one on my underwear. See? Look.** _ **(he activates his underwear's self-destruct button)**_ **Oof! Oh, that, uh...that was** _ **not**_ **pleasant.**

 _ **(Cut back to the backyard, wide shot of the wading pool, then close-up on Buford, Baljeet, Phineas and Ferb at the top)**_ **  
** **Buford** **:** **Alright, gang's all here. Let's get this pool party started!** **  
** **Phineas:** **Sorry, Buford, I promised Isabella and the Fireside Girls that we'd wait for them.** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(falsetto)**_ **"Ooh, I promised Isabella!"** **  
** **Phineas:** **Is that how I sound?** **  
** **Ferb** **:** **He really nailed you.** **  
** **Baljeet:** **It is uncanny.**

"Really?" Isabella asked, raising an eyebrow

"No, not really, we were trying to get Phineas to start." Baljeet answered, "Didn't you say he sounded like Phineas?"

"I was trying to humour him."

"HEY!"

"Me too." Phineas agreed

 **** **Phineas:** **Well, I guess we can test the pools out to make sure they're up to our usual standards.** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(falsetto)**_ **"Well, I guess we can test the pools! Hey, look at me!"** **  
** **Phineas:** _ **(laughs)**_ **You guys are right! It's like listening to a mirror! Alright, gang, let's give this wading pool a try.**

 _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **Quirky Worky Song**_ _ **)**_ **  
** _ **(Phineas jumps down the slide followed by the rest. Cut to Phineas in a mud pool followed by the others. They wade around in the mud, and then jump out. Cut to the gang entering a pool full of carbonated bubbles.)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **Woohoo!** **  
** _ **(Phineas laughs as he goes into the next pool and onto another slide, followed by Ferb)**_ **  
** **Buford:** _ **(belches, giving a thumbs up)**_ **Carbonation. Makes me belch. That's why I like it.** **  
** **Baljeet:** _ **(sarcastically)**_ **Yes, thank you for sharing.**

"You were the one with that book that had the list of all the world's most pointless world records. I thought you would want to know."

 **** _ **(Cut to an icy pool. The gang falls down the slide onto the pool and go onto tubes on the next slide. Cut to another slide.)**_

 _ **(Cut back to D.E.I.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Now that the bees are out of the way, let's try this baby out. Just a little spritz.** _ **(He activates the Aroma-inator and gets more than just a little spritz.)**_ **Uh...okay...needs a little adjustments.** _ **(The doorbell rings)**_ **Oh, that's right. Charlene's coming over to get Vanessa's headphones for her.** _ **(He walks over to the door with the headphones and opens it to reveal his ex-wife.)**_ **  
** **Charlene** **:** **Hello, Heinz.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Hey, Charlene.** _ **(giving her the headphones)**_ **Here ya go.** **  
** **Charlene:** _ **(taking the headphones)**_ **Oh, thanks, Heinz. Wait, are you more attractive all of a sudden?** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Oh, why, thank you, I have been trying to—Oh, wait, no, it's just the pheromones.** **  
** **Charlene:** **Wow! Well, it's really working because suddenly I can't remember why we broke up.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **You said you hated Mr. Tomato.** **  
** _ **(Doofenshmirtz takes out a badly made tomato puppet.)**_ **  
** **Mr. Tomato:** **Hello, Charlene.** **  
** **Charlene:** **Oh, hello, Mr. Tomato.** _ **(to her ex-husband)**_ **Thanks for the reminder.** _ **(leaves)**_ **I'm outta here.** **  
** **Mr. Tomato:** **Y'know, it wasn't** _ **me**_ **she didn't like.** **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Shut up!**

 _ **(Cut back to the backyard. Phineas slides down the last slide into a Ducky Momo wading pool.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **Awesome!** **  
** _ **(Buford comes down next, followed by Baljeet, and finally, Ferb.)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** **What a thrill!** **  
** _ **(Ferb stays in the pool and wades a while.)**_ **  
** **Baljeet:** _ **(offscreen)**_ **Man, that kid can wade!** **  
** _ **(Zoom out to reveal emo Candace sitting by the tree writing some poetry.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **Sibling unit,** **  
** **Wading, wading.** **  
** **I sit here** **  
** **Not relating.** **  
** **Phineas:** **Wow, pithy.**

"That's pretty good for a not emo teen." Stacy said impressed

 _ **(Cut back to Doofenshmirtz and Perry)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Now we're cookin' with gas! Watch, Perry the Platypus,** _ **(Perry throws his fedora. It hits both the forward/reverse switch and the on/off switch)**_ **as I spritz myself right into ruining the Tri-State Area!** _ **(The Aroma-inator gives Doofenshmirtz a huge spritzing, but he then sees the escaped bees)**_ **Uh-oh.** _ **(All the bees surround Doofenshmirtz)**_ **Oh! Ow! I think it might be time for Plan Bee!** _ **(Perry uses his tail like a chainsaw freeing himself from the swatter trap while Doofenshmirtz is still yelling.)**_

"That neck of yours must be pretty flexible."

 **Doofenshmirtz:** **Stop it stop it!** _ **(Perry puts his fedora back on)**_ **Ah! Ow! They're all over me! Ahhhhh! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!** _ **(Perry runs over to the remote. He activates the Aroma-inator emptying it completely. The bees follow it.)**_ **Thank you for saving me, Perry the Platypus! And on the bright side, with all those bees, not** _ **one**_ **sting! Ow!** _ **(He spits out a bee and sticks out his swollen tongue.)**_ **Oh, man! I thould've ekthpected thith. At leatht my inator ith intact.** _ **(Perry pushes the self-destruct button on the remote control.)**_ **Ah, thhoot! Curth you, Perry the Platyputh!** _ **(beat)**_ **Curth you! I thaid, "Curth you, Perry the Platyputh!" Yeah, well, thee, you thould be able to get it in contektht.**

 _ **(Cut to the pheromones, which land on the giant wading pool.)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **What the heck is that?** **  
** _ **("Flight of the Bumblebee" plays in the background while all the bees surround the giant wading pool.)**_ **  
** **Phineas:** **I have no idea, but the bees sure seem to like it.** **  
** _ **(The bees take the giant wading pool with them all the way up.)**_ **  
** **Candace:** **And so continues the inevitability of my mundane existence.** _ **(The bees deflate the giant wading pool, squirting water out of it, and soaking Candace)**_ **Once again, I am humiliated by the universe.**

" _Sorry, I did not mean for that to happen."_

 **** _ **(The Ducky Momo pool drops down along with its water.)**_ **  
** **Buford:** **What just happened?**

" _Not much, just me."_

 **** **Linda:** _ **(offscreen)**_ **Hey, kids!** _ **(Cut to the sliding door where Linda comes out with a tray with a pitcher and some glasses filled with iced tea)**_ **Anyone up for some iced tea?** **  
** **Phineas:** **Sure! Thanks, Mom!** _ **(They run up to the refreshments. Perry enters chattering.)**_ **Oh, there you are, Perry!** **  
** **Linda:** **Oh, look, you kids found Candace's old wading pool! How sweet!** **  
** **Phineas:** **We're gonna have a pool party! Go ahead, wade away!**

 _ **(Cut to the fence gate. Isabella, Gretchen and Holly enter in their swimwear carrying towels.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Sorry we're late, Phineas. Our bee ceremony ran long.** **  
** **Phineas:** **No worries, Isabella. Go ahead and join Mom in the fun.** **  
** **Buford:** _ **(falsetto)**_ **"No worries, Isabella!"** _ **(makes mocking noises)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(to Phineas)**_ **Hey, he does a good you!** _ **(to Gretchen and Holly)**_ **Come on, girls! Let's hit the pool!**

"That is much less fun." Isabella pouted.

"Sorry, I can make it again if you want." Phineas offered

 **** _ **(Cut to Linda taking her shoes off and dipping her feet into the pool followed by Isabella, Holly and Gretchen.)**_ **  
** **Linda:** **Aw, it's just like old times.**

 **Stacy:** _ **(coming in with the magazine)**_ **Hey, Candace,** _ **(flipping the pages)**_ **I just realized you added up your score wrong! Your true teen identity is actually the...** _ **(Shows quiz in magazine)**_ **"Busting and Crush Obsessed Older Sister Type Who Can't Do Math".**

"That's an oddly specific and impossible answer to get too. Not to mention extremely accurate. I guess _Heather Magazine_ really is good."

 **** **Candace:** _ **(deadpan)**_ **But, but, but, but, but...whatever.**

"That was fun."

" _But not really the most interesting part of the day, let's see what the Fireside Girls where doing shall we?"_

 **Again sorry for the lack of updates. I guess SMITE and Warframe took up a bit too much of my time. The next update will come next week.**


	10. Bee Story

_**(Scene opens up showing the Fireside Girls lodge, with the girls walking inside it)**_ **  
** **Milly** **:** **The opening ceremony of the Bee Day festival was awesome!** **  
** _ **(Cut to inside the lodge)**_ **  
** **Holly** **:** **It's my favorite part of Bee Awareness Day!** **  
** **Katie** **:** **My favorite part is the B-flat with the F-sharp bass at the end of the song!** _ **(They all look at her.)**_ **What? It's tradition!**

"Girl, you are the only person in Danville that even likes that tradition."

 **** **Isabella** **:** **Okay, girls, festivities are over. Let's focus on getting our beekeeping patches. It's the only patch that we've ever tried to get and failed.**

"You failed to get a patch?" Marie gasped, "How is that possible?"

Isabella twitched but did not answer

 **Remember last year?** **  
** _ **(Flashback ripples, needle scratch as Gretchen runs up)**_ **  
** **Gretchen** **:** _ **(Interrupting Isabella's flashback)**_ **Eep! You promised to never flashback on that ever again.**

"What happened last year?" Baljeet asked

"We may or may not have created a honey monster." Adyson said awkwardly

"Like that Gelatine monster Baljeet made?" Phineas asked

"It was CURRY! It's not EVIL"

"I don't remember making a Turn-Everything-Evil-inator around that year. I remember the Gelatine monster though" Doof said

"See, it's not curry's fault!"

"Yeah but a lot worse." Isabella sighed

 **** **Isabella:** **Right, right! You're right.** _ **(Walks outside to a yard with a bee hive in the middle.)**_ **But still, if we don't succeed today, the two strikes and you're out rule kicks in, which means this spot will stay empty on our sashes forever!** _ **(Close up on her sash showing an outlined mark, she gasps and sniffles)**_ **  
** **Gretchen:** **Chill out, Isabella. We've got this. Ready, girls?** _ **(She pulls off the top of the hive)**_ **  
** **Fireside Girls:** _ **(Gasp)**_ **They're gone!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Gone? F-f-f-fighting flashforward to potential catastrophe!** _ **(Screen ripples, record scratches)**_ **Hey, where's Pinky?**

"So did you flashforward at all?" Phineas asked

"…Yes, Pinky's distraction didn't work very long. I almost had a panic attack while on the way to see you."

 _ **(Scene switches to Pinky, who jumps into the purse of a mannequin. He passes Perry in a tunnel and barks.)**_ **  
** **Admiral Acronym** **:** **Good afternoon, Agent Pinky. I see you've taken our new handbag conveyor system.** _ **(Pinky growls)**_ **Carla here has Intel that Poofenplotz has been hatching some sort of bee-related evil scheme. Carla?** **  
** **Carla** **:** **Yes, it seems that Poofenplotz is researching the use of royal jelly in the bee community.** _ **(Beeping)**_ **Oh, there's your coffee.** **  
** **Admiral Acronym:** **Isn't she a find? She comes from an entire family of unpaid interns.**

"Is she your relative?"Baljeet asked Carl

"Yes."

"And everyone in your family is an unpaid intern?"

"Well there is uncle John who works as a cars salesman, but he's kinda the black sheep of the family."

Baljeet stared at Carl, "How did you live?"

"I lived in the office."

Everyone have Monogram an accusing stare while he avoided eye contact and whistled away

 **Admiral Acronym:** **Anyways, see if there is anything to Carla's research, Agent Pinky. Admiral Acronym out.** **  
** _ **(Pinky salutes and jet packs off.)**_

"You think O.W.C.A would have a better acronym when there is someone named Acronym." Thomas said

 _ **(Scene switches to the Fireside Girls' lodge.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(shrieks)**_ **We've gotta find those bees before the sun goes down! But how?** **  
** **Gretchen:** **In the guideline for the beekeeping patch, it says that a good beekeeper tries to think like a bee.** **  
** **Katie:** **Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...** **  
** **Gretchen:** **What are you doing?** **  
** **Katie:** **I'm thinking like a bee.** **  
** **Adyson** **:** **I know! We can get stung by radioactive bees and gain bee-themed superpowers!**

"Somebody's been reading a bit too much comic books."

"What? You think that with Phineas and Ferb around they could make it happen." Adyson defended herself

 **** **Holly:** **Um, we don't have access to radioactive bees.** **  
** **Ginger** **:** _ **(sarcastically)**_ **Yeah.** _ **That's**_ **what's wrong with that plan.**

"There are less painful ways to die people!"

"I thought the fireside girls were all about danger." Baljeet said

"We always think about safety first."

Candace was not the only one to think that the word safety did not exist in any of their dictionaries

 **** **Isabella:** **But we** _ **do**_ **have access to Phineas and Ferb. And** _ **they**_ **have access to** **a sorbet machine that turned Candace into a fly** **. They've gotta be able to modify it to turn people into bees.** **  
** **Katie:** **Phineas and Ferb have a sorbet machine that turns people into flies?** **  
** **Isabella:** **Katie, for crying out loud, look it up on the internet!**

"Really?" Kai took out his phone, "Huh what do you know. They have a wiki page that seems…to…know everything they have ever done. Cool…creepy but cool."

 _ **(Cut to Poofenplotz's headquarters)**_ **  
** _ **Poofenplotz reading her junk mail.**_

"She stole my thing! She totally stole my thing."

"Yes and nobody cares." Monogram said to doof

 **** **Poofenplotz** **:** **Let's see.** **  
** _ **(Cut to inside.)**_ **  
** **Poofenplotz:** **Bill, bill, flyer...** _ **(gasps and squeals)**_ **This must be my acceptance letter into** **L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.** **!**

"L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.? You had an evil organisation named L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.?" Holly asked

"Yeah, it's a good name."

"It sound like a name of an organisation that spreads the message of love and peace, not one filled with questionably evil scientist."

"…It grew on us ok!" Doof huffed

 **Poofenplotz:** **Oh!** _ **(she tears the envelope open and takes out the letter and reads it)**_ **"Dear Esmeralda Poofenplotz..." Oh, that sounds promising!** **  
** _ **(Close up on the letter which reads:**_ **  
** **"** _ **Dear Esmeralda Poofenplotz,**_

 _ **We regret to [inform] you that your application for membership has been denied. Based on your past schemes, we have deemed that you're not even close to our standard for admission.**_

 _ **Feel free to re-apply after you've come up with something really evil. At the very least, get yourself a decent lab coat.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Heinz Doofenshmirtz".)**_

"You are like the last person to say that to her Heniz." Monogram said

 **Poofenplotz:** **"We regret to inform you that..." Oh! Reject me, will they? No matter.** _ **(she crumples the paper up)**_ **My newest evil scheme is sure to catch the attention of that silly boy's club.** _ **(Close up on Pinky in his purse. He barks.)**_ **Pinky the Chihuahua!** _ **(Pinky jumps out of the purse and growls and barks at his adversary.)**_ **Fortunately, I was expecting you.** _ **(She pushes a button on a remote and a makeup case pops out of the rug trapping Pinky.)**_ **The makeup case doubles as as a trap.** _ **(She lifts it up.)**_ **Could you hand me that lipstick in there?** _ **(Pinky gives her the lipstick.)**_ **Thank you.**

 _ **(Cut back to Phineas and Isabella.)**_ **  
** **Phineas** **:** **What are friends for, if not to reconfigure a sorbet machine that turns people into flies into a sorbet machine that turns people into bees! Just remember, the effect wears off after a couple of hours. Why don't you come back for our inflatable wading pool party after your patch ceremony?  
** **Isabella:** **Of course! Wouldn't miss it!  
** **Phineas:** **See ya later, then!  
** _ **(Cut to Ginger and Baljeet.)**_ **  
** **Baljeet** **:** **Did you know that bees can communicate with each other through dancing?  
** **Ginger:** **That's really interesting!  
** **Baljeet:** **Yes. They do a tail-wagging dance to alert others(?) to a source of food...  
** _ **(The rest of the conversation becomes muffled as Isabella takes the sorbet machine out of the box and pushes a button that turns it back into the control panel. She takes out a little green spiral notebook.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Okay, let's see...setting, targets...** _ **(she types in the control panel)**_ **"Fireside Girls..." And that should do it.** _ **(She presses a red button.)**_ **Here we go.  
** _ **(Cut back to Baljeet and Ginger. Ginger gets zapped by the ray and transforms into a bee.)**_

"So that's what happened." Baljeet realised, "This seems like a better adventure than the one we had."

 **** **Baljeet:** _ **(looks away from Ginger)**_ __ **In a minute.** _ **(Turns around)**_ __ **So to continue, the figure eight and...** _ **(Notices Ginger has disappeared)**_ **Awwww, annnnnd we are back.  
** _ **(The ray zaps the rest of the Fireside Girls into bees. Ginger joins them. We hear a buzzing version of the Fireside Girls theme music. Closeup on the Fireside Bees.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Fireside Bees, follow your noses!  
** **Fireside Bees:** _ **(sniffing)**_ **That way!  
** _ **(They buzz to the right of the screen.)**_

 _ **(Cut back to Poofenplotz, who is applying her lipstick.)**_ **  
** **Poofenplotz:** **Mmmmwah. Much better. Now that my lips are taken care of, I can tell you about my beautifully evil plan.** _ **(Pinky growls, and Poofenplotz sprays him with a water bottle.)**_ **Bad doggie! Okay, sit!** _ **(Pinky sits)**_ **That's better. Now pay attention as the camera slowly moves closer and we cross-dissolve to my thoughts.**

 _ **(Cross-dissolve to a beehive.)**_ **  
** **Poofenplotz:** _ **(voiceover)**_ **Behold, a humble beehive. A massively warded society just like our own. Observe a young grub bee fed mass quantities of royal jelly, which will make her larger and eventually she will become queen. So logic dictates that if I were to consume massive amounts of royal jelly, then I would grow four times bigger and live four times longer and eventually be crowned Queen of the World! The Queen!**

"Her plans are even worse than yours dad." Vanessa said

"I know right! It's like she never read anything about bees before."

"Again, you are the last person to say that about her." Monogram facepalmed

 **** _ **(Cross dissolve to Poofenplotz in a dark but lit area wearing a crown)**_ **  
** **Poofenplotz:** **And I shall not be dark, but beautiful, like the night in the day, and all shall love me and despair!  
** _ **(Cross dissolve to Poofenplotz in a hive with a queen bee's rear end)**_ **  
** **Poofenplotz:** _ **(voiceover)**_ **And I might have a grotesquely large abdomen for laying eggs, but I can live with that.  
** _ **(Cut back to the present where Pinky squeals in disgust.)**_

"She has her…priorities straight…I guess."

 **** **Poofenplotz:** **Come, Pinky the Chihuahua! To the Myselfcopter!**

"Look at how narcissistic she is!"

"Didn't you create a zombie apocalypse with by turning everyone into a mindless version of you at some point?" Phineas asked

"I feel like you are all against me. Perry are they all against me?"

Chatter

"Thanks Perry."

Perry facepalmed at the world interpretation

 _ **(She laughs taking Pinky with her climbing into a helicopter shaped in her own image as she flies off)**_

 _ **(Cut to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. The Fireside Bees buzz over to the building)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **My bee instincts are buzzing! This must be where our bees went!  
** **Gretchen:** **They must've been attracted to that heavenly scent. What is that?**

"Eww, so that's what that scent was." Gretchen said in disgust remembering the bee pheromones

 **** _ **(Overhead shot of Doofenshmirtz getting his vacuum cleaner walking up to the Aroma-inator.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz** **:** _ **(talking under)**_ **Okay, t** **ime to fill the void in the power vacuum. 'Cause you see, it's a-it's a real vacuum cleaner.  
** **Milly:** **It seems to be coming from that gigantic perfume sprayer.  
** **Gretchen:** **Let's check it out!  
** **Isabella:** **Woah! It looks like every bee in Danville is here! Fireside Girls, forward, buzz!  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(He activates the vacuum and all the bees get sucked inside)**_ **Ha ha! Sucks to be you!  
** _ **(The Fireside Bees all get sucked into the vacuum cleaner.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **...just shut off this baby—Oops! I almost hit the...**

Everyone gasped, "OK so maybe not that fun after all." Baljeet yelped

 _ **(Cut to inside the vacuum.)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** _ **(from outside)**_ **...self-destruct button here!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Wow! Humans really take for granted not being sucked into the nearest vacuum cleaner. I'm gonna see if the queen knows anything.** _ **(She buzzes up to the queen bee)**_ **Excuse me, Your Majesty, do you have any idea how to get out?** **  
** **Queen Bee:** **Not a clue. And without my jelly, I'm way too weak to fly. Ugh.**

"Why would the queen bee be with the worker bees instead of the hive?" Kai wondered

"Must be one of the mysteries we will never solve I guess." Katie said

" _And you never will MUHAHAHAH-Ahem *cough*."_

 **** **Isabella:** **Whadaya think, Fireside Girls?** **  
** **Holly:** **What are we supposed to do now?** **  
** **Gretchen:** **Bee Day's almost over and we're stuck inside a pharmacist's power-vac.** **  
** **Isabella:** **What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over** **when we helped Candace get fifty patches in one day** **? Heck no!** **  
** **Holly:** **I thought it was only forty-nine.** **  
** **Ginger:** **Forget it, she's rolling.** **  
** **Isabella:** **And it's not over now! Cause when the going gets tough... the tough get going! Come on, girls, we've got enough patches between all of us to make this work! We can do this! Gretchen, Milly, Katie, you've got the exploring patch, right?** **  
** **Milly:** **Yes, and we can look for a way back out of here!** **  
** **Gretchen, Milly and Katie:** **Right!** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(picking up a piece of hair)**_ **These pieces of hair and dust are like rope! Holly, Ginger, you girls have the advanced knot-tying patch. What do you think?** **  
** **Holly:** **We could totally work with that stuff!** **  
** **Ginger:** **And make a sling for the queen!** **  
** **Isabella:** **And Adyson, you and I have the appliance repair patch!** **  
** **Adyson:** **Let's hotwire the vacuum and reverse the motor so that it blows us all out again!** **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(fist bumping Adyson)**_ **That's what I'm talkin' about!** **  
** **Adyson:** **There they are! All we need to do is swap those leads to the forward-reverse switch.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Great! How's that sling comin'?** **  
** **Gretchen, Milly and Katie:** **All good to go!**

"Wow, everybody works fast in the fireside girls." Jeremy said, impressed

 **** **Isabella:** **Excellent work! Recon Team, is the escape path charted?** **  
** **Ginger and Holly:** **Yes, ma'am! Power vac hose located!** **  
** **Holly:** **Achoo! It was murder on my allergies.** **  
** **Isabella:** **Bee-youtiful! Prepare for exit, everyone!**

 _ **(Cut to outside the vacuum. Perry throws his fedora. It hits both the forward/reverse switch and the on/off switch. Cut back to inside the vacuum as the bees get blown right out. The Aroma-inator gives Doofenshmirtz a huge spritzing, but he then sees the escaped bees)**_ **  
** **Doofenshmirtz:** **Uh-oh!** _ **(All the bees surround Doofenshmirtz)**_ **Ah!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Great job, Adyson.** **  
** **Adyson:** **Uh, thanks?** **  
** **Isabella:** **We're going home to the Fireside Lodge! Everybody, follow me!** **  
** _ **(Wide shot of D.E.I. as the myselfcopter flies past it.)**_

 _ **(Cut to the Fireside Lodge. The Fireside Bees are still leading the bees to the lodge, but suddenly, Isabella's right leg begins to grow.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Oh! It's wearing off!** _ **(screams)**_ **  
** _ **(Holly's left hand begins to grow, followed by Katie's right ear)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Come on! We're almost there!** **  
** _ **(Wide shot as all the Fireside Girls grow back to their normal size and land on the ground.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Yay! The bees are back! Now we just need to get them back into their hives.** **  
** **Milly:** **Okay, little bees, go back into your hive.** **  
** **Holly:** **We don't speak their language anymore. We can't communicate.** **  
** **Katie:** **Ooh! I have my semaphore patch! Would** _ **that**_ **work?** **  
** **Adyson:** **Only if they were on a boat.** **  
** **Ginger:** **Baljeet is the answer.**

"Well that sounds like the opening sentence to a religion."

"What like a religion for nerds?" Buford asked

"Well I guess it would be a religion for nerds."

"That's my kind of religion." Buford smirked

"…Why?" Baljeet asked

"So that I can bully all of you." He answered

"And there comes the devil of said religion."

" _You know, I should get a religion, something like all praise the all power and wise Mysterious Force."_

"Don't get your hopes up." Kai said

" _I can curse you, you know that right?"_

"… _All_ praise the all power and wise Mysterious Force."

" _Good boy."_

 **** **Isabella:** **Ginger, now really isn't the time t—** **  
** **Ginger:** **No no no! He told me all about this dance they do to alert each other to a source of food or shelter.** **  
** **Gretchen:** **Like the rhumba?** **  
** **Ginger:** **No, it's a waggle dance!** **  
** **Isabella:** **Dance patches we've got!**

 _ **(Song:**_ __ _ **Waggle Dance**_ _ **)**_

 **Backup singer:** **(Waggle dance! Waggle dance!)**

 **Ginger:** **Well, I don't think I can really overstate it,** **  
** **But bee communication is quite complicated.** **  
** **What seems at first like a simple figure eight...** **  
** **Fireside Girls:** **Is packed with meaning when their butts gyrate!**

 **Ginger:** **See, the waggle explains the angle** **  
** **From the sun to the door of the hive** **  
** **We shake it to and fro** **  
** **To let everybody know** **  
** **That the angle is seventy-five**

 **Gretchen:** **Oh, 75 degrees is the angle in relationship to the sun.  
** **Ginger:** **Yeah, but it also tells the bees the distance they're gonna have to go just to get there!  
** **Gretchen:** **Ooh...**

 **Fireside Girls:** **It's a waggle dance, waggle dance,** **  
** **Show them where they got to go!** **  
** **It's a waggle dance, waggle dance,** **  
** **Take it to the bee chateau!** **  
** **Ginger:** **Let's do it!**

 **Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, stop!** **  
** **Fireside Girls:** **Figure eight and shake it again!** **  
** **Ginger:** **Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, stop!** **  
** **Fireside Girls:** **Everybody shake your rear end!** **  
** **Ginger:** **You got it!**

 **Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, stop!** **  
** **Fireside Girls:** **Come on and swing those skirts!** **  
** **Ginger:** **Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, stop!** **  
** **Fireside Girls:** **Try to hit 'em at thirteen hertz!** **  
** **Ginger:** **That's right!**

 **Fireside Girls:** **It's a waggle dance, waggle dance,** **  
** **Show them where they got to go!** **  
** **It's a waggle dance, waggle dance,** **  
** **Take it to the bee chateau!**

 **Backup singer:** **Waggle dance!**

The Fireside girls blushed, "You are cruel." Milly said

" _Hey I wasn't the one who made you dance like that!"_

"Ahem, as…amusing as that was." Kai chose his words carefully, not wanting to come off as anything, "I feel like we just had been added to some kind of watch list, anyone else?"

Quite a few nodded their heads

" _Oh quite all of you, it's not like you haven't seen any of that before."_

"First off, there are children here." Kai pointed to the Marie and Thomas who had their ears and eyes covered by their parents, "Secondly, we are all going to ignore what that means."

" _Fine! Be that way then."_

"…Are you pouting?"

"… _No?_ "

 _ **(Cut to the myselfcopter. We hear Poofenplotz laughing evilly.)**_ **  
** **Poofenplotz:** **Ah, my locatificator has led me to the motherlode!**

"She should have named it the locatifinator! See repeat after me locatifinator. Doesn't that should better? Way better than locatificator or locatifinizors." Doof grumbled

 **The royal jelly room at the Moist Beauty Works factory! It won't be long now, Agent Pinky. Soon I'll be able to carry out my most beautifully evil plan yet!** _ **(she laughs again. Shot of a nervous Pinky from inside the makeup case. He sees a loose thread and pulls it making the bag come apart. Pinky pushes Poofenplotz making the myselfcopter crash land.)**_ **Bad doggy! Bad bad doggy! Oof!** _ **(Shot from inside the factory. Poofenplotz is flat on her face.)**_ **Ooh. That's the last time I buy a cheap designer knockoff trap from downtown.** _ **(gasps)**_ **I don't believe it! Fortune is smiling upon me like the creepy guy on the corner of 3rd and Main!**

"Old Man Danville? He smiles at everyone like that"

 **Poofenplotz:** _ **(She gets up)**_ **We're in the royal jelly chamber of the Moist Beauty organic cosmetics factory! Ha ha ha! How unbelievably coincidental. No really, I mean, I couldn't have asked for a better place to crash.**

Everyone looked at the walls

" _I wanted to see her fail."_

"Again you are very cruel" Milly said

 **Poofenplotz:** **Anyway, you have failed, Pinky the Chihuahua, and brought me right to the biggest supply of royal jelly in the Tri-State Area!** _ **(She laughs evilly again as Pinky kicks her into the chambers, which pours royal jelly all over her)**_ **I...can't move. Well, I...I'm not much larger and I'm not really feeling royal at all. I suppose my plan was predicated on a faulty hypothesis now, wasn't it? I guess there's only one thing to say, and that's: Curse you, Pinky the Chihuahua!**

"See she even took our thing!" Doof exclaimed

 **** _ **(Pinky jumps into the myselfcopter and flies out of the factory tying up Poofenplotz with it.)**_ **  
** **Poofenplotz:** **Ooh, how humiliating. Piloted off to the pokey by a pooch.**

 _ **(Cut back to the Fireside Lodge where Isabella is giving patches to her troop.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** _ **(giving one to Milly)**_ **Here's your patch and here's my patch! Yay! Time to paaaarrr-tay!**

"Or time for Phineas huh?" Milly teased

 **** _ **(Cut to the fence gate. Isabella, Gretchen and Holly enter in their swimwear carrying towels.)**_ **  
** **Isabella:** **Sorry we're late, Phineas. Our bee ceremony ran long.  
** **Phineas:** **No worries, Isabella. Go ahead and join Mom in the fun.  
** **Isabella:** **Come on, girls! Let's hit the pool!  
** _ **(Cut to Linda taking her shoes off and dipping her feet into the pool followed by Isabella, Holly and Gretchen.)**_ **  
** **Linda** **:** **Aw, it's just like old times.  
** **Phineas:** **Hey, Isabella, we're having iced tea! You want some, honey?  
** **Isabella:** **What did you say?  
** **Phineas:** **I said, "We're having iced tea!** _ **(taking out a honey bear tube and a spoon)**_ **You want some honey?"  
** **Isabella:** **Oh, um, heh-heh, sure!**

"How about we have some ice tea later, honey?" Phineas asked

"Ok." Isabella giggled

" _And that day came full circle. So who wants to see some end credits?"_

The Mysterious Force showed the end credits sequence which happened to be the waggle dance

Katie picked up the sofa she was sitting on, "You son of a-"

 **And that's the chapter. Some news about me, school is starting again. And the next two years would be mind-breakingly stressful at best so don't expect a once a week update any more, I'll try but I won't make any promises.**


End file.
